michaelolsen's profile

This, while having some unsubstantiated references to vague empathic ideas, lacks punch that it could derive from more concrete detail.

Very nice. A beaten man. Unclear if the spell being broken is of duaghters birthing changelings, or birthing changelings that wil grow into women, tormented by men without fear. Is this to a daughter? Who the you is seems unclear to me, and I wish I could tell better....

Okay, so you've got a decent beginning to a story. First of all, I'd advise the old adage "show, don't tell." That comment is for, roughly, the first half of your posting. Two other stories came to mind reading this, one is the fil "Beowulf and Grendel," and the other I forget now, as on this site you can't make intermediate comments. I patently disliked your ending. It may have been a temporary device to make your story end when you felt like finishing, but I thing the story deserves much mo...

Although somewhat infuriating, your exposition reflects the advice you give. You deliver with confidence and clarity an opener that keep you reading. I definitely want more, so deliver it! Then the proof will be in the pudding.