Some of the language is awkward: "The Art of Stocks is an educational book, where..." A better sentence might be: The Art of Stocks is an educational tool and to make the best use of it you will need an internet connection, paper and a calculator. Proper use of the internet for buying and selling stocks is explained in the book. "Learning means you will never stop learning which is good for your mind." This sentence is unclear, as learning something does not guarantee future learning. How abo...

I like the creativity here. The itallics in the last paragraph work better separated from the body of the story, as another paragraph. It's a bit awkward within the normal font sentence. "outside the data mages..." This is a dramatic introduction of something new and deserves its own space.

Nice bit of nostalgia. It is clear that Nana is your grandmother. Be careful with tenses. "She brings Christmas gifts..." should be "She brought..."

Well, it's interesting as an editorial. It doesn't work as a piece of pure journalism as the author's opinions overlay the facts. This story is interesting enough to be presented on its own merits, without the writer's reactions. Let the readers draw their own conclusions.

A well done review. One note, the beginning sentence of the last paragraph is a bit confusing: "As the book unfolds..." The workings of the cult and Daniel's role in their rise is a completely different thought from "and it is in stark contrast to how our genetic successors live..." I think a new paragraph is indicated to describe what may be an important scene.

A very good piece of writing. Two small items: us guys talk ad nauseum about our Cummins diesel engines(Baby!), and when you speak of women in general in the last paragraph it should be "not just at the voting booth or in a public forum, but also in the comfort of their own homes."

It's really well done, I can easily see this being published. Consider: Chris has a bit of an introspective interlude at the very beginning of the story. Has there been enough tension created by the invitation for this to work? What about moving the "You smoke too much", "Do you think you're free?" stuff further in, after you've pushed the story along? I'm not sold on the need for the "You can't change fate" paragraph. You've presented an excellent story by that point, told almost entirely th...

Good story. use the same punctuation for dialogue as anything else, with one exception: If you are trying to re-create exactly how people speak informally you can omit commas, but you need to be careful not to confuse the reader, and you should be consistent.

I like the rhythm to this work: You look through me when you talk at me... why? It reads like music, with a very nice cadence. Well done.

Perhaps, like the Devil in Mark Twain's "Letters from the Earth", God has marooned you here in perpetuity for leading a revolt against him. You shall have to put up with your fellow man until HE thinks you've suffered enough.