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mercraven's profile
AGE:
23
LOC: Fort Rucker, AL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 23
LOC: Fort Rucker, AL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 23
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Version 1
10 Reviews
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Untitled By J.C. Thomas “Since when did you give a damn about some sniveling high school kid’s drama?” His irritation resounding throughout the restaurant from the tiny cell phone in my hand Well you’re pretty good at sniveling without high school drama, I thought, but didn’t say. Letting his bad mood stress me out wouldn’t help anyone. This had been going on since this morning when a friend of mine called crying, asking for my help. Being the empathetic person I am; I went. Once again disrup...
Version 1
5 Reviews
1 Comment
I lightly fingered the plastic tube. The thing that would change our lives forever if it read what I was thinking it might. She had refused to read it, taking to her usual defense mechanism of unemotion. She sat on the edge of the tub making little to no movement except to brush her hair out of her face. The apathetic expression she was known for rang true on her pretty features, marring them ever so slightly. Damn it! Though I had talked about getting married, I had never presented a ring. I...
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Reviews
Having worked in a nursing home and having experience with these types of women, I think you pulled it off beautifully. I almost saw the ending way back, but don't think that's a bad thing. The ending being inevitable, means you constructed it very well. All in all a great piece.
Okay, with this brief post I get a lot out of it. Being a reasonably attractive girl, people expect you to have you life together or at least not be depressed about it. I think you could have fleshed the flirting thing out a little more, but that's just my opinion. All in all pretty good.
I normally don't read non-fiction because, life sucks enough without bringing reality to my time off from it... heh. I happen to have been captivated by your piece, because I know how it is. I also like you writing style, very emotionally driven. Granted I made a bit more money at my endlessly slaving job working as a CNA in a nursing home, but it's the same thing. My doubles added up to 16 hours with maybe a half hour break in there... somewhere. Then go home sleep, only to get up and do it ...
The language here is amazing. I happen to love the second stanza as its building to this massive tension. Very nice.
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