The guy…well, actually he’s no one guy in particular, but more like a combination of guys that I’ve known personally or wished that I’d known.
Poetry / Did You Catch That?
Broad shoulders
Cocoa buttered, dark chocolate skin
Large hands, roughest softness ever felt on my face
Could reach into the sky
And grab the sun plus two clouds
With the strength of fifty men plus one
Can fling that baby right back and
Turn sun into moon
And clouds into blankets of stars folded neatly with darkness
This man is the man among men
Gives one hundred and ten percent and nothing less
Knows where he’s been
Has visions of where he wants to be
Near me, I hope
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i like the descriptive parts but some of the poem is a little clumsy in terms of rythm. i would find a cadence that feels good, sounds good, sound sensual, or somehow suggests the feelings expressed. anyway good job. the roughest smoothness i ever felt bit is good. i think this poem has alot of potential but i would work on it a bit more.
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when I saw the title I thought it might be about AIDS..however I love a lot of the language in this..stars folded neatly etc the imagery really makes this piece, it is just so well thought out, that I can’t find anything but praise for it. Hope you write a lot more….but who is this guy?
very good dedication poem
Didn’t like numerical representation of numbers (should have used words…one hundred, etc.)
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