Poetry / Did You Catch That?

Broad shoulders
Cocoa buttered, dark chocolate skin
Large hands, roughest softness ever felt on my face
Could reach into the sky
And grab the sun plus two clouds
With the strength of fifty men plus one
Can fling that baby right back and
Turn sun into moon
And clouds into blankets of stars folded neatly with darkness
This man is the man among men
Gives one hundred and ten percent and nothing less
Knows where he’s been
Has visions of where he wants to be
Near me, I hope

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arond avatar General Stranger

February 26, 2006

arond

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
arond reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

i like the descriptive parts but some of the poem is a little clumsy in terms of rythm. i would find a cadence that feels good, sounds good, sound sensual, or somehow suggests the feelings expressed. anyway good job. the roughest smoothness i ever felt bit is good. i think this poem has alot of potential but i would work on it a bit more.

A

Fletcher_Bounty avatar General Stranger

January 31, 2006

Fletcher_Bounty

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
Fletcher_Bounty reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

when I saw the title I thought it might be about AIDS..however I love a lot of the language in this..stars folded neatly etc the imagery really makes this piece, it is just so well thought out, that I can’t find anything but praise for it. Hope you write a lot more….but who is this guy?

Purunga263 avatar General Stranger

January 17, 2006

Purunga263

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
Purunga263 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

very good dedication poem

Didn’t like numerical representation of numbers (should have used words…one hundred, etc.)

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Nemrac avatar

Nemrac

Age: 27
Loc: -
Gen:
Last Login: May 26
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Latest Activity: about 1 year ago

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