Screenplay / LaClassa Nostra Pilot: Act 3

SCENE 23: RICHARD AND HIS PARTNER ARRIVE!

JENNIFER, MARIE AND WENDY are walking down the SIDEWALK in the late afternoon. There are trees all the way down the WALKWAY to the school. There are park benches along the SIDEWALK and people walking by them. They are discussing the missing money before they are hit on by thugs looking for some action. Here we are reintroduced to RICHARD and his partner JIMMY. WENDY is wearing a blue jean jacket and blue jeans with a black t-shirt. MARIE is wearing a white business suit with an extra short skirt and white high heels.

MARIE: So have they found the money yet?

JENNIFER: Not yet. Gordon is still acting like someone stole it.

WENDY: Stealing is wrong but it sure is fun watching Gordon sweat bullets like this.

Three THUGS emerge from a park bench and put their arms around the ladies hoping to pick them up. All are wearing lame biker wannabee clothes and the leader is wearing Elvis style shades.

THUG #1: Hey girls! Where do you think you’re going?

WENDY: What do you want?

THUG #2: You are some fine looking bitches you know that?

THUG #2 tries to get his hand on MARIE’S leg.

MARIE: HEY, hands off grease ball!

THUG #3: We were thinking of taking you back to our hotel for a little…

JENNIFER takes THUG #3’s arm and twists it into a wrestling arm-bar. She is so strong that she is poised to break his arm in two.

THUG #3: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

RICHARD: Are these gentlemen bothering you ladies?

RICHARD enters the scene. He is well dressed in an expensive suit with well shined loafers.

JENNIFER, surprised to see Richard lets THUG #3 go, sending him flying. She then runs behind RICHARD.

JENNIFER: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Please help me sir, those ruffians tried to attack me!

MARIE AND WENDY: HUH?

THUG #1: First of all, who the fuck are you? And second of all, what are you doing? We’re gettin’ some here!

RICHARD: Those are fighting words. You man enough to back them up kid?

THUG #2: Come on boys, let’s go!

The THUGS walk away.

RICHARD is now standing face to face with JENNIFER who is completely smitten with the suave and sexy RICHARD. MARIE and WENDY are standing a couple of feet away also falling in love with RICHARD.

RICHARD: Are you okay ma’am?

JENNIFER: Oh yes! Thank you very much!!

RICHARD: Hey, you were that girl I met on the bus the other day!

JENNIFER: WOW! You remembered me!

RICHARD: I didn’t expect to see YOU again!

JENNIFER: I’m Jennifer Caprice, do you believe in faaaaaaaaaaaate?

WENDY and MARIE run in and shove JENNIFER out of the way before she finishes her question to introduce themselves to RICHARD.

WENDY: Where are my manners? I’m Wendy Mihalchuck, I’m single with no kiiiiiiiids…

MARIE shoves WENDY to the ground to get to RICHARD.

MARIE: I’m Marie and I would do ANYTHING to repay you for your kindnessssssss…

JENNIFER shoves MARIE out of the way.

JENNIFER: You know I don’t even know your name but I feel like we knew each other in a past life. Do you believe in reincarnation? I do. What’s your sign?

RICHARD: Well, I can change part of that right now! I’m Richard Klassen!

JIMMY: HEY RICHIE!!!

JIMMY enters the scene. He jumps over a bus stop bench and runs over to RICHARD. He’s wearing a bad navy blue polyester suit with a waistcoat and a black clip-on tie with a gold tie clip and a pair of trucker-style mirror shades. He is also wearing leather fingerless gloves.

JIMMY: Richie! The Captain called and he’s pissed off man!

RICHARD: What else is new?

MARIE, WENDY AND JENNIFER: CAPTAIN?

JENNIFER: You guys work on the Enterprise by any chance?

RICHARD: (Laughs) No, no, no, we’re Police Officers! We work at the station down the street! I’m Detective Richard Klassen!

Freeze Frame of RICHARD looking cool and sexy without even really trying.
TEXT: RICHARD KLASSEN: DETECTIVE, O.P.P.

JIMMY: And I’m his partner: Detective Jimmy Stephenson at your service ladies!

Freeze Frame of JIMMY smiling and giving a big thumbs up to the camera.
TEXT: JIMMY HAMMER: RICHARD’S PARTNER

MARIE AND WENDY: Ooooooh, you’re Detectives?

JENNIFER: You’re cops?

RICHARD and JIMMY: Yep!

JENNIFER: (looks up in the air.) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

SCENE 24: DINNER WITH THE FUZZ!

JENNIFER, WENDY, MARIE, RICHARD and JIMMY are seated in a nice RESTAURANT at a big table. WENDY and MARIE are facing RICHARD while JENNIFER is stuck in the chair facing JIMMY. WENDY and MARIE are both in a very festive mood while JENNIFER is so upset by the revelation that her dream man is a cop that she is drinking herself silly. There is a bottle of Crown Royal in front of JENNIFER and about 10 shot glasses.

WENDY: Once again Mr. Klassen I want to thank you for saving us!

MARIE: Yeah, since you saved our lives, we’re buying tonight!

RICHARD: Oh it’s nothing, we’re just doing our jobs ma’am.

MARIE: Cops are always so dependable!

JENNIFER groaning because her dream man is the enemy in the eyes of her Family!

JENNIFER: (to herself) Dammit, of all the men in the world, why did my dream man have to be with the Law?

JIMMY: Hey baby, I’m currently single you know? You got a boyfriend?

RICHARD: Hey JIMMY, don’t be so rude to these ladies.

JIMMY pats RICHARD on the back as he responds.

JIMMY: Ah come on Richie, I’m not doing anything, YET! He he heeee!

RICHARD: (to JENNIFER) Would you like something to drink?

JENNIFER: I’m covered.

MARIE: Ooooh Detective, could you show us you’re BADGE???

WENDY: Mmmmmm, I’d love to see some of that!

RICHARD: Um, my badge?

WENDY and MARIE continue to yammer away asking RICHARD to see various police related stuff. (Badges, guns, etc.) Close up of JENNIFER groaning at this and pounding back shooters.

JIMMY hands JENNIFER another shooter.

JIMMY: Drink up baby! When you are hammered I’ll take you back to my babe lair!

JENNIFER: You better be man enough to keep up.

JENNIFER hands JIMMY the bottle.

JENNIFER: Drink up, NOW!!!

JIMMY: ...Um… Yes ma’am!

SCENE 25: ADVICE FROM GRANDPA

JENNIFER, MICKEY and TED are sitting on lawn chairs on the DECK next to the barbecue. There is a table in the middle with a bottles of beer on it. JENNIFER is wearing her bulky pajamas. TED and MICKEY are dressed in buttoned shirts and slacks. None are wearing shoes.

JENNIFER, not done drinking her sorrows away, pours back another beer. She then reaches for MICKEY’S bottle and he pulls it away from her. CARLO is inside listening in on the conversation.

JENNIFER: What the hell did you do that for?

MICKEY: That was MY beer Jenny!

TED: Besides, haven’t you had enough to drink for one night?

JENNIFER: What, you don’t like drinking with me all the sudden?

TED: Jen, it’s 2 in the morning!

MICKEY: Yeah, don’t you have to get up in the morning?

TED: What’s eating ya Jenny?

JENNIFER: Aaaagh, it’s a long story Ted. My school lost 5 Large the other day.

TED: You think those punks in your class swiped it?

JENNIFER takes a long pause and shaking her head as though she thinks they did in fact do it.

JENNIFER: I don’t get it guys…      kids just didn’t do stuff like this when I was in high school. (long pause) They don’t listen, they don’t have any respect, they bully the weaker kids around, and maturity? Preschoolers think they need to grow up.

CARLO enters the scene wearing a gray sweat suit.

CARLO: Hey! What’s an old man gotta do to get a beer around here?

JENNIFER: Here ya go Grandpa!

JENNIFER hands CARLO a beer as CARLO sits down with JENNIFER, TED and MICKEY.

TED: If you don’t need us we’ll be heading home now boss!

MICKEY: (to TED) Wait a minute…

TED: It’s cool Mickey.

CARLO: It’s okay boys, you can get going. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

TED AND MICKEY: G’Night Jenny, G’Night Boss.

TED and MICKEY leave the way CARLO came in and CARLO takes a sip of his beer.

CARLO: So how’s school going Jenny? It looks like it’s getting to ya.

JENNIFER: No problems here Grandpa! (Gives a thumbs up.)

CARLO: Hmmm, I see. (pause) Just like your mama.

CARLO takes out his wallet and produces a picture of JENNIFER’S mother.

CARLO: Your mom was a very stubborn girl. When she set her mind on something, that was it.

CARLO: She HATED my businesses and left home as soon as she graduated. She married a guy who wasn’t in our business. I never met the guy and I only found out about it when she sent me a letter telling me you were born.

JENNIFER: All of that over the Family business?

CARLO: We had a pretty big fight about it to be honest. I thought her career choice would bring to many people too close to my business. Needless to say I told her that if she was to work outside of the family, she’d have to find another place to live.

JENNIFER: Wow.

CARLO: I don’t regret too many things Jenny but my biggest one is not trusting my daughter. If you don’t have trust, you don’t have respect. You have to give it to receive it kid.

JENNIFER takes another sip of her beer.

CARLO: I still remember when she walked out the door. She slammed it so hard it broke the glass. That was the last time I ever saw your mother before she died. If I had shown her some respect, I never would have lost her. (pause) You have to make your own decisions Jenny. Make sure you show people respect and when you DO whack someone, it’s the right one for the right reasons.

JENNIFER: Thanks Grandpa.

CARLO: Your welcome sweetie. I gotta get some sleep. You should do the same, it’s gonna be a tough day tomorrow if your too hung over.

JENNIFER: G’Night Grandpa.

CARLO goes back in the house and JENNIFER sits there thinking about what he just said for a moment. Then she takes another sip of her beer.

SCENE 26: LUNCH WITH 3-D

TOAD, PANDA, ARCHIE and MARIO are eating lunch at a lunch table in the front of the school while other kids are eating in various parts of the area and walking past them. All are wearing sloppy clothes. STEPH is sitting nearby against a tree drinking an ice cappuccino.

PANDA: Mario, you gonna eat that?

MARIO: Get your own!

JENNIFER sees them and goes over to eat with them. She is wearing a yellow track suit with black trim, double ponytails, sneakers and of course her glasses. She is holding a plastic box of sushi.

JENNIFER: (Smiling) Hey guys!

JENNIFER sits down with the guys and starts talking to them, they want nothing to do with her.

JENNIFER: Oooooh, that looks good!

PANDA: What do you want?

JENNIFER: I thought I would eat with you guys today! Want some sushi?

ARCHIE: Go eat by yourself, leave us alone.

JENNIFER: What’s the matter? The sight of you guys eating with your smoking hot homeroom teacher’s gonna ruin your ‘street cred’? Don’t worry I won’t tell Fiddy Cent if you don’t.

STEPH drinking his ice latte and JENNIFER looking over to talk to him.

JENNIFER: How about you STEPH, want some sushi?

STEPH ignores JENNIFER and drinks his latte and stares off into space.

JENNIFER: Come oooon STEPH, you can’t live on iced coffee alone ya know?

STEPH doesn’t answer but looks up at VP GORDON and CHARLIE coming towards them. And quietly motions to JENNIFER that they are coming.

VP GORDON and CHARLIE enter the scene. They are wearing their usual suits and ties. They walk right up to JENNIFER and the boys.

VP GORDON: Pantalano, could you come to the office please?

PANDA: What for?

CHARLIE: Miss Caprice, could you come along as well?

STEPH sits up and he has a look on his face like he’s been busted.

SCENE 27: BUSTED???

PANDA is being practically dragged into the OFFICE by CHARLIE while JENNIFER and VP GORDON follow. The PRINCIPAL, MARIE and WENDY are also in the OFFICE.

CHARLIE shoves PANDA into a desk.

JENNIFER: Hey, watch it?

WENDY: (Wearing earphones listening to her Ipod) Why do you people have to be so noisy?

PANDA: Since when are teachers allowed to smack students around?

VP GORDON: What about YOU? The last time I checked theft is a crime.

JENNIFER: Theft? Since when?

CHARLIE: This guy is the one who stole the money.

PANDA: I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.

VP GORDON: SILENCE!

WENDY, MARIE and the PRINCIPAL all drop what they were doing and come over to see what is going on. JENNIFER gets between PANDA and VP GORDON.

JENNIFER: Do you have the goods on him Mr. Gordon?

VP GORDON: Goods?

JENNIFER covers her mouth momentarily because she used mob lingo in public again.

JENNIFER: Um, I mean, do you have any evidence to back this up?

VP GORDON: We have a witness who saw Mr. Pantalano on Queen Street last night carrying a blue Bank Of Montreal bag. THAT is the bag that had the
money in it.

PANDA: THAT’S NOT TRUE! I had a blue bag, he had that right but it wasn’t a bank bag. That bag had my smokes and lighter in it.

JENNIFER: Cigarettes? At your age?

VP GORDON: Fine, show me the bag then.

PANDA: I don’t have it anymore. I burned too many holes in it and threw it away.

MARIE: (Shakes her head.) You’d like to think he could come up with a better story than that.

VP GORDON: Listen Pantalano, if you just tell me the truth, I’ll let you off this time.

PANDA: I am telling you the truth!

VP GORDON: You want to be expelled right now?

The PRINCIPAL comes up to VP GORDON and PANDA to say something.

PRINCIPAL: Um, we don’t want to do that Gordon. If we lose too many students we won’t get the same funding from the Province next year.

VP GORDON: Come ON sir, it’s because of kids like this that our school has such a bad reputation in the first place. Thanks to GARBAGE like THIS, (points at PANDA,) no quality players want to play for the football team. GARBAGE, ALL OF THEM!

VP GORDON: You know what happens when you don’t throw away the garbage Sir? Flies, maggots and roaches infest everything around it.

VP GORDON takes a file and smacks it against a desk.

VP GORDON: SURE, you can get rid of the parasites but if you don’t get rid of the GARBAGE in the first place, it doesn’t matter!

VP GORDON points right at PANDA.

VP GORDON: Principal, this guy should be expelled and reported to the Police immediately.

JENNIFER has seen enough and comes up to VP GORDON to confront him.

JENNIFER: Hold on Mr. Gordon. You can’t rat on Panda like that. You’ve got nothing on him!

VP GORDON: Huh?

JENNIFER: He said he didn’t do it. Isn’t that good enough for you?

CHARLIE: You would believe the word of garbage like this?

WENDY: If it’s good garbage sure, in this day and age recycling is good for the environment!

VP GORDON: The problem with that statement is that this is a useless kid, a total waste of space!

PANDA: You know what Gordon? I don’t need this shit, I’m quitting.

PANDA walks around the desks to leave. JENNIFER follows him into the HALLWAY.

SCENE 28: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?

PANDA leaves the OFFICE in anger while JENNIFER follows and stops him to find out what really happened. STEPH is in the HALLWAY watching from a distance. JENNIFER grabs PANDA by the arm and stops him in his tracks.

JENNIFER: PANDA WAIT!

PANDA: What the hell do you want NOW?

JENNIFER: You don’t have to quit school over a jackass like Gordon. You said
you didn’t do it and I believed you. You WERE telling me the truth right?

PANDA: I didn’t steal the money but…

JENNIFER: What?

PANDA: I found it okay!

While PANDA explains what happened there is a montage of the events he is describing.

MONTAGE SCENE #1: VP Gordon has an armful of files under one arm and the money in a blue bank bag in the other when his cell phone rings. It’s a girl he’s having an affair with and he has to take it in the WASHROOM. During this time he drops the money bag. PANDA walks by as VP GORDON is entering the MEN’S ROOM and sees the bag and takes it.

PANDA: (VO) Gordon dropped the bag on the way to the washroom and I found it on the ground outside the washroom. I took it and left. I never stole it.

MONTAGE SCENE #2: PANDA getting into a fight with West End boys on the way home. (This is the same scene from earlier in the episode where he got his cuts and bruises.) We see the rest of what happened with the two WEB Members bringing in two more members of their gang who all proceed to kick the crap out of him and steal the bag.

PANDA: (VO) Last night on the way home I bumped into some guys who seemed to want to want to fight. I decided to have a go with them, they were pretty small and there were only two of them. Then two more guys came in and gave me a serious beat down. They saw the bag and took it.

STEPH enters the HALLWAY to see how PANDA is doing and stops behind JENNIFER to listen in.

JENNIFER: Who were they PANDA?

PANDA: What the hell do you care? You’re just going to bust me anyway.

JENNIFER: What makes you think I’d do that?

STEPH: To save your OWN ass.

JENNIFER: (turns her head back to see who said that.) Stephan?

STEPH: You teachers are all the freaking same. Get us to trust you and then you burn us to get a better class. Sorry bitch, been there, done that.

JENNIFER: Listen to me Panda, I’m prepared to put my sweet ass on the line to save yours so you had better tell me who those guys who jumped you were and where they are NOW!

STEPH is shocked and silent.

PANDA: They’d kill you.

JENNIFER: Sure they will. I’m so scared I forgot to crap my pants now spill it.

PANDA: Fine Miss Caprice, it’s your funeral. They were with the West End Boys, they roll at a condemned strip mall by the Queen Street Station.

JENNIFER: Thank you Panda. Now you and Stephan, go back to class and do some homework or something, I have something to take care of.

JENNIFER turns to leave as VP GORDON comes out of the OFFICE.

VP GORDON: Where do you think you are going Miss Canard?

JENNIFER: Caprice sir.

VP GORDON: Whatever, you can’t leave yet, it isn’t even 1:00.

JENNIFER: I know where the money is Gordon. You will have it in your hands before 3:30.

VP GORDON: Where did you find that out?

PANDA and STEPH looking scared.

JENNIFER: (smiling) I got an anonymous tip sir.

VP GORDON: Fine, I’ll be watching the clock Missy.

JENNIFER leaves the scene straight out the front door.

VP GORDON: What are YOU looking at? Get back to class!

VP GORDON goes back into the OFFICE.

STEPH: Panda, go ahead man. There’ something I have to take care of.

STEPH goes out to follow JENNIFER and PANDA goes back to class.

STEPH WALKING OUT THE DOOR FADES INTO THE NEXT SCENE.

SCENE 29: JEN PUTTING HER GAME FACE ON

JENNIFER gets out of the SUBWAY STATION and is walking down the sidewalk. She gets an intense, “I’m gonna kill all of them” look on her face. While she’s walking, she takes out her ponytails one by one and then takes off her glasses. The background music is the intro to the Tragically Hip’s Grace Too.
STEPH sees JENNIFER walking and slowly follows her but tries to avoid being seen and loses her in the process.

SCENE 30: JENNIFER VS. THE WEB ROUND 1

The scene is in a burned out STRIP MALL STORE. FOUR WEB Members are in the back sitting at a table playing cards. There is a stack of money on the table as well as a few bottles of beer.

The FOUR WEB Members are startled by the sound of the side/back alley door being broken down. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

The door breaks open and JENNIFER walks in with a 16 pound sledge hammer. She then throws the sledge hammer aside and slowly walks towards a burned out counter with cigarette butts, empty beer cans and the BMO bank bag on it.

The WEB Members are startled by the door being smashed in but are at ease when they see it’s just a girl.

WEB #1: I almost had a heart attack there. It’s just a girl.

WEB #3: (to JENNIFER) HEY! What do YOU want?

JENNIFER is looking over the bag on the counter, slowly brushing the debris off the bag, then slowly walks toward the table. While this is happening the WEB start coming over to deal with JENNIFER.

WEB #1: Can we HELP you?

JENNIFER: I’ll take the money that was in this bag please.

ALL WEB MEMBERS: Laughing

WEB #2: We worked hard to gain that kind of cash lady!

JENNIFER: You gave a 17 year old kid a 4-1 beat down. Congratulations, I’ll have a trophy made for you. What name do you prefer engraved on it: Coward, Wussboy or Sackless Maximus?

WEB #4: HEY!

WEB #1 backs WEB #4 off with his hand.

WEB #1: Oh I remember, that fat punk we took out last night. How do you know about Porky?

JENNIFER: I’m his homeroom teacher.

ALL: (Loud laughter)

JENNIFER: Hand the money over or else I’ll have to hurt you.

WEB #3 picks up a broken 2X4 and comes after JENNIFER. JENNIFER ducks to avoid his swing and cracks him in the back of the head, knocking him down. The others try to jump in and JENNIFER knocks them down one by one. At this point the background music is the guitar solo part of Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd. The music plays into the next scene.

JENNIFER ABOUT TO THROW A PUNCH AT WEB #1

SCENE 31: STEPH SEES BEATEN GANGSTAS

STEPH finally finds the WEB’S hangout and sees the broken down door and enters the STORE. He is shocked at what he sees. ALL FOUR THUGS all found lying down beaten and bloodied.

STEPH turns tail and runs to the subway station to get back to the school.

SCENE 32: HERE’S THE MONEY SIR!

VP GORDON and CHARLIE are in JENNIFER’S CLASSROOM. Most of 3-D is present and PANDA is at the head of the CLASSROOM where VP GORDON is going to expel him.

VP GORDON: Well Mister Pantalano, your performance in the office was as much of an admission of guilt as there is so I have decided to expel you.

CHARLIE: Get your stuff and get out right now.

PANDA: I’m not going anywhere.

VP GORDON and CHARLIE try to force him out of the CLASSROOM.

JENNIFER enters the room and everyone stops. JENNIFER then walks up to VP GORDON and hands him the BMO bag with $500.00 in it.

JENNIFER: Here’s the money just like I promised Mr. Gordon.

VP GORDON opens the bag and looks at the money.

JENNIFER: Go ahead and count it, it’s all there.

VP GORDON: Where did you find this?

JENNIFER: I found it in the Men’s washroom. You won’t believe how scared guys get when a hot chick goes in there.

The 3-D students roll their eyes at her glossing herself a “hot chick”.
STEPH gets to the CLASSROOM and enters.

VP GORDON: Thank you Jennifer.

VP GORDON and CHARLIE turn to walk away.

JENNIFER: Wait a minute Mr. Gordon. Aren’t you forgetting something?

VP GORDON: What?

JENNIFER: Apologize to Andrew.

VP GORDON: What for?

JENNIFER: You accused him of stealing the school’s money, you shoved him around in the office and you went back on your word to let him off if he told the truth and tried to expel him. Man up and tell him you’re sorry.

VP GORDON: (Long pause) Mister Pantalano, I’m sorry if we made an error in judgment. Keep your nose clean or you’re out of here. As you were.

VP GORDON and CHARLIE leave the CLASSROOM and close the door.

PANDA: Thanks for saving my ass Jennifer.

JENNIFER smiles and then lays PANDA out with a sucker punch. Upon taking the punch, Panda falls to the ground hard.

PANDA: What was THAT for?

JENNIFER: That was for lying to me. Don’t ever do that again.

PANDA slowly gets up.

JENNIFER: You guys are my very first homeroom class and deserve my best effort. I’ll put my ass on the line for every one of you but I expect the same in return. Like it or not, you are stuck with me all year. Why? Because government employees NEVER get fired! (Smiles) So why don’t we wipe the slate clean huh?

All of the 3-D students quietly nod their heads.

JENNIFER: All right then. Get the hell out of here and enjoy the weekend. On Monday, we get serious!

STEPH and JENNIFER stare at each other.

Roll credits

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