Romance / The Hands of Time Chapter 3
The Hands of Time
Chapter 3
Rikkilynn
“Nikki”
Valerie’s voice sounded surprised, she removed herself from the desk.
Alex’s’ arms released her from his grip as soon as he heard Nikki’s voice.
She pulled her gray skirt down and buttoned her baby blue satin blouse. He
Tightened his black leather belt to his black suit. His chest was still bare and he grabbed it from the floor. There was a nervous silence that filled the room.
She stared at them angrily. She was going to stand up for herself for once.
“ Not exactly what I was expecting for our anniversary”
Her voice stung with sarcasm and bitterness her words followed with a furious disparaging look. She wasn’t going to let them get past her she stood in the doorway. Her small petite body shook with anxiety. She could kill them both right now.
She wasn’t just going to just let him go. She had lost Drew because she didn’t fight for him. She spent too many years growing to love Alex to lose him now.
“ Nikki, I’m sorry”
His face looked pathetic. His eyes pleaded with her to forgive him and she could but how could she forget that he told her that he loved Valerie? How could he say that to her? If it was just sex, If it was anybody else but her sister. It would have been easier.
“ Alex, it’s about time she knows the truth,”
Valerie shouted as she stood just a mere two feet away. Looking at Nikki with subtle satisfaction.
“All this time all the late nights, you were with Valerie, Valerie Alex? I can’t believe this. I never thought that we would end up like this you promised that you would never hurt me the way Drew did”
“ I said I’m sorry what else do you want me to say?”
Alex asked annoyingly.
“ Don’t be a hypocrite Nikki, you’ve been in love with Drew the whole time you’ve been married to Alex. Now you want Alex only because Drew has Chelsea”
Valerie dished out accusations as if it were to justify what she just saw. She was trying to turn the tables on her. Classic Valerie Nikki thought to herself.
“ That’s not true, you know that I love Alex” She yelled adamantly to Valerie then her eyes drifted sadly to Alex, please, tell me why so that I can understand? I thought that we were happy”
She broke down in tears and wiped them away quickly. She felt the warm liquid run down her chin and berated herself silently.
“ We were for awhile, I don’t know how it happened. Valerie and I have just been spending a lot of time with one another and one thing led to another. We have fallen in love. This isn’t the way I planned on telling you but I want you to know.”
Alex stood next to Valerie and put his arm on her to comfort her. Valerie wasn’t the one who was just betrayed. She didn’t just walk in to see her husband with her sister. Why was he comforting her?
Her anger turned to sadness when she thought about their children. Their picture lay on the floor next to their wedding photo. She reached down and picked up the picture from the messy stack of papers that were lying in piles around the room.
Nikki put the picture over her heart. She had given Alex that picture on Father’s day this year. They had just turned four. She removed it from her heart and stared at them, their smiling faces. Their world would be turned upside down.
“ Don’t say that, this is not true. What about the Twins? Were you thinking about your kids when you were here being with my sister?”
She walked over and shoved the picture into Alex’s chest, the silver trim poking him in the rib.
She couldn’t say making love. He made love to her. She wouldn’t accept he loved Valerie. Damn, Valerie. All the times that Valerie had wrecked havoc on everyone’s life but yet she always forgave her. Always gave her the benefit of the doubt. She had even convinced her father to hire her to be Alex’s secretary when Chris her ex-flame had fired her.
When Valerie got closer to her and Alex Nikki couldn’t control her anger for one more second. Valerie provoked her. She has lied cheated and stole from her the last time. Nikki reached her perfectly manicured hand and smacked her across her face leaving her stunned a red hand formed on Valerie face.
“ Valerie, your no longer my sister”.
Valerie stood there for a second she had been thrown off guard. She didn’t see it coming from miss goody two shoes Nikki. Valerie’s eyes began to tear up.
” Save it Valerie, I’m done with your lies you disgust me”
“ He doesn’t love you anymore. He was tired of waiting for you to love him, he saw you that night on the rooftop with Drew and he knew something was going on but he chose to forgive you. He forgave you because he did love you”
“Shut up Valerie, just shut up. I am talking to my husband. Your nothing but a lying snake and you deserve everything your going to get.”
“Nikki, you’re not listening to us. We want to be together. We’re in love. Now you can be with Drew. He’s the man you really love.”
Alex let Valerie out of his arms and went to embrace Nikki. He grabbed her and put her in his strong arms. She tried to fight it but instead she wept on his shoulder.
“How can you say that? You know that I love you”
her voice was low and weepy. She closed her eyes hoping that when she opened them that this would have all been a dream, Just a dream.
Alex’s voice spoke in a hurt whisper choking back the lump that formed in his throat.
“ How because whenever he’s around I disappear in your eyes”
Nikki lifted her head of his shoulder and looked at him.
“ That was a long time ago”
“ Stop lying to yourself”
his voice turned to anger and she felt that she had been overpowered. He didn’t love her anymore.
So, your telling me you want a divorce, on our anniversary because you want to be with Valerie?
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
I read only one page of the four. I hope my comments are useful. You should not be discouraged. The story seems okay.
“Nikki”
need a full stop or an exclamation mark or a question mark.
Valerie’s voice sounded surprised, she removed herself from the desk.
use a comma as a conjunction.
Alex’s’ arms released her from his grip as soon as he heard Nikki’s voice.
2 establishes that it’s Valerie’s voice.
can’t have removed herself from the desk while Alex’s (so spelled) hands (not arms) gripped her. Use simple sentences in correct time order.
She pulled her gray skirt down and buttoned her baby blue satin blouse.
Tightened
looks as if your word processor is set to “capitalise all new sentences” and you pressed Enter twice. Proof-read stuff before submitting it to an editor. (Urbis is forgiving – we’ve all been there.)
colour of the skirt and blouse are entirely unimportant. By interrupting the story to tell us the colour you (the writer) make them important, as if she’d been caught misbehaving while on duty, in uniform. This doesn’t seem to be the case.
He
his black leather belt to his black suit. His chest was still bare and he grabbed it from the floor.
[ ] I don’t understand “belt to his suit.” You’ve written that he grabbed his chest from the floor. I think you meant “shirt”. If he was bare above the waist he wasn’t wearing a suit: trousers, at the most.
There was a nervous silence that filled the room.
She stared at them angrily.
not clear that it’s not Valerie on the desk but at the door
She was going to stand up for herself for once.
“ Not exactly what I was expecting for our anniversary”
need a punctuation mark after “anniversary”
Her voice stung with sarcasm and bitterness her words followed with a furious disparaging look.
suggest that you write sarcastic and bitter words instead of expecting your readers to imagine them and to save you the trouble. You have written good notes to yourself but you must now do the work. Imagine your scene as a TV show. You must use the right words for dialogue. You cannot have someone else pop up and say “Her voice stung with (etc.)”
She wasn’t going to let them get past her she stood in the doorway.
have trouble with sentences and conjunctions. That’s okay. Join a writing class. We’ve all been there.
” I never thought that we would end up like this you promised that you would never hurt me the way Drew did”
[ ] I have to go now. I hope this is helpful
Ann
- add/view comments (0)
There are some flaws that make this hard to read. Normally, I never comment on grammer, but the problems make it damn near unreadable. For example, “his chest was still bare and he grabbed it from the floor” suggests that, amazingly, his chest had fallen to the floor and needed to be grabbed. Also, you cut thoughts that should be one sentence into two; EX: “If it was just sex, If it was anybody else but her sister. It would have been easier.” It would be stronger to say, “If it were anybody but Nikki’s sister, if it was simply about sex, it would have been easier to comprehend” or something. And you’d do well to open this piece up a bit. It seems rushed. You don’t allow us to get to know your characters before you have them speaking and/or doing some action that leaves us wondering who and what we’re watching.
In the third line of this chapter you say that Alex released Valerie from his arms after hearing Nikki’s voice …..when Nikki said a word ?
Only Valerie talked,first lines of chapter confused me a little.overall it’s fine.
Showing 1 - 3 of 3
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
