SCENE 18: PANDA COVERS HIS FACE
It’s just before 9:00am and PANDA is just entering the SCHOOL and passes the office where JENNIFER is just leaving to get to class. PANDA is wearing a pair of baggy black jeans with a chain attached to his wallet and a baggy white t-shirt. JENNIFER is wearing a gray track jacket with blue trim and a pair of blue jeans. She also has her hair tied in two ponytails and is wearing glasses.
JENNIFER: Hey Andrew!
PANDA covers up the side of his face and looks at JENNIFER.
JENNIFER: Woah, what happened to your face?
VP GORDON and CHARLIE enter the HALLWAY from the OFFICE to confront PANDA. Both are wearing suits, ties and dress shoes. VP GORDON is also wearing glasses. (NOTE: Unless specified, VP GORDON is ALWAYS wearing his glasses on screen.)
VP GORDON: Good morning, (sees the cuts and bruises on PANDA’S face,) OOOOOOH, looky what we’ve got here! Another fight last night eh Pantalano?
PANDA turns his back on the teachers and VP GORDON.
PANDA: No Mr. Gordon, I fell down the stairs at the station on the way home OKAY?
VP GORDON: Don’t lie to me “PANDA”. You know what will happen to you if I catch you fighting again? I’ll EXPEL YOUR PIG ASS!
CHARLIE: That’s right, one more misstep and you’re OUTTA HERE!
PANDA goes toe to toe with VP GORDON.
PANDA: You don’t have the balls Gordon.
VP GORDON: I’ve got balls the size of GRAPEFRUITS PANDA!
CHARLIE: Huge ones kid. (Charlie makes the shape of a big ball with his hands.)
JENNIFER rushes in to break it up.
JENNIFER: (In a soothing tone of voice.) Hey, come on Andrew, it’s not worth it.
VP GORDON takes his glasses off and moves his face right up to PANDA’S.
VP GORDON: Come on PANDA, take a swing at me. You knooooooooooow you want to. Do it! Prove how tough you are with 2 teachers as witnesses. Make my job easier.
PANDA gives VP GORDON the evil eye, backs up like he’s going to take a swing at him and arrogantly walks away.
VP GORDON: Yeah that’s right PANTALANO, run away. You ALWAYS walk away when it gets tough don’t you? You were too freaking lazy to play football, you NEVER study and all you seem to do is stir up crap! This school doesn’t need the likes of you!
SCENE 19: JENNIFER VS GORDON!
VP GORDON struts into the OFFICE like his balls are way too big for his pants with CHARLIE exactly two steps behind him, JENNIFER follows. MR. SHERMAN, MIKEY, HAROLD and MARIE are all sitting at their desks getting ready for class.
VP GORDON: I sure showed THAT little turd eh Charles?
CHARLIE: Yes you did Chief! He was shaking in his boots the way you starred him down!
VP GORDON goes to his desk and sits down, CHARLIE follows and JENNIFER goes to her desk to pick up some books.
VP GORDON: (Smiling) It’s not exactly a shock Charlie, he’s just a boy, not a MAN like your’s truly!
JENNIFER: (Picking up her textbooks.) AAAAH, so he got into a fight? No biggie!
VP GORDON: Excuse me Miss Capricorn?
JENNIFER: Caprice!
VP GORDON: Whatever. Are you telling me that violence is ‘cool’ with you? What kind of a teacher are you?
JENNIFER: Violence and a fair fight are two different things sir.
VP GORDON: Yeah yeah yeah, same crap, different color!
JENNIFER: NO! They aren’t. Violence is straight up bullying is pushing the weak around. A fight is a match between two people.
MIKEY: (stands up) Hold up, you called it a match right? Wouldn’t that make it like a sport?
VP GORDON: Oh shut it Greenaway.
MIKEY: Yes sir. (sits down)
WENDY: Yes, Jen has a point, fighting is a sport!
MARIE: You know, Ultimate Fighting is pretty big right now Sir! I just LOVE all those sweaty guys in little shorts going at it like that!
ALL: MARIE!!!!
MARIE: Sorry! What were you talking about again?
VP GORDON: (Walking towards JENNIFER) Sport, violence, match, whatever you want to call it, 3-D’s your class Jennifer.
VP GORDON stands toe to toe with JENNIFER and wags his finger at her while continuing to talk.
VP GORDON: That means it’s your ass on the line when they screw up. That means you had better not encourage anything stupid you got that?
JENNIFER: Yes Sir!
After both JENNIFER and VP GORDON pause to stare at each other for a second, both go back to their desks. VP GORDON goes to open the school safe and is shocked to find that it is empty!
CHARLIE: What’s the matter Chief?
VP GORDON: I swear I put it there the other day! The money for the cafeteria bill, GONE!
SHERMAN: If we don’t cover that, the Province will cut the lunch program and we won’t be able to reapply until next year!
MIKEY: Man, how much was it for Chief?
VP GORDON: Five hundred bucks!
JENNIFER: Five Large?
The TEACHERS all look at her funny for using Mafia-lingo and JENNIFER realizes this and covers her mouth right away.
JENNIFER: I mean, that’s a LARGE amount of cash sir!
WENDY: Five hundred dollars? Man, I could get front row seats AND backstage passes to Bon Jovi with that kind of money!
MARIE: And I could go to Vegas for Spring Break!
VP GORDON: Well don’t just sit there, START LOOKING!
SCENE 20: QUESTIONS AND ACCUSATIONS
It is 12 Noon and all of the teachers are in the MEETING ROOM having an emergency lunch meeting. All teachers are present and the PRINCIPAL is at the head of the table watering the plants with a small watering can and leading the meeting.
PRINCIPAL: (Calm tone of voice but very concerned.) This is not good people. Not good at all. (pauses)
We are in serious trouble if the money and receipts aren’t recovered.
JENNIFER: You really think so Sir?
PRINCIPAL: Where did you keep the money Gordon?
VP GORDON: With that kind of money I put it in the safe in the office of course sir.
MARIE: Are you sure Mr. Gordon?
VP GORDON: What kind of stupid question is that Miss Langois?
Everyone looks at VP GORDON and he starts doubting himself.
VP GORDON: I think I put it there…
JENNIFER: Do you think you may have misplaced it?
CHARLIE immediately stands up.
CHARLIE: HEY! That was out of line. You take that back RIGHT NOW!
VP GORDON stops CHARLIE’S tirade and quietly gets him to sit down. CHARLIE quietly sits down without another word.
JENNIFER: (Soothing tone of voice.) Even if Mr. Gordon did lose the money I wouldn’t go off on him for it. Everyone makes mistakes.
VP GORDON jumps to his feet.
VP GORDON: HEY, I DID put it in the safe! You all HAVE to believe me!
CHARLIE: Then somebody STOLE it!
VP GORDON: Stolen! Yeah, that’s it! Somebody stole it!
MIKEY: Well, who at this school do you think would have done it Chief?
WENDY: Aren’t we confident? How can you be so sure eh?
VP GORDON: It was one of those bastards in 3-D, it HAD to be.
JENNIFER stands up.
JENNIFER: Unless you have evidence you have absolutely NO right to condemn my students.
VP GORDON: (Very stern tone of voice.) In my 15 years of teaching experience I have developed a sixth sense when it comes to this sort of thing Miss Caprice.
JENNIFER: Riiiight, let me take a wild guess and assume that you see dead people too right, sir?
VP GORDON: Miss Caprice, if you have something to say to me, have the guts to say it in front of the faculty. Come on, out with it!
JENNIFER: (smiling) Mr. Gordon Sir, my Grandfather taught me that a lady doesn’t humiliate a man in front of his peers.
VP GORDON: In any rate, please interrogate 3-D for me and find out why they did it.
JENNIFER: Interrogate? What is this, the Gestapo?
VP GORDON: JUST DO IT!!!!!
SCENE 21: DID THEY DO IT?
JENNIFER goes up the stairs to the ROOFTOP looking for her class to ask them about the missing money. ARCHIE, TOAD, STEPH, PANDA, MARIO and a RANDOM STUDENT are on the ROOFTOP.
JENNIFER walking up the stairs.
JENNIFER: (To herself) They’re just kids, like any of them are capable of anything like that.
JENNIFER overhears some of her students bullying another student to get him to buy them lunch. JENNIFER hides from view to listen in on this.
PANDA: Okay, get cracking and remember, EXTRA jalepinos on EVERYTHING!
KID: Okay, that’ll be 5 bucks each guys!
PANDA grabs KID by the shirt.
PANDA: WHAT? You actually think WE are paying for this? That’s YOUR job you idiot!
ARCHIE: HEY! When those fagots from Charleswood were kicking your ass, who had your back huh?
MARIO puts his arm around KID in a semi-headlock to intimidate him further.
MARIO: You SAID you “OWED us one!” remember? Or is your sense of duty as bad as the jackasses we saved you from?
PANDA: Yeah, only a BITCH would take money from the guys who risked their lives to save him from a beat down.
KID: Ah, I get it, this one’s on me dudes!
ALL: GOOD BOY!
PANDA: Now move your ass, I’m getting hungry and I eat Freshmen when I get too hungry!
JENNIFER, still hiding, talks to herself for a moment.
JENNIFER: Okay… So they ARE capable of something like that. All right smart ass, now what?
SCENE 22: STOLEN MONEY
KID gives everyone their lunches and the 3-D guys send him on his way. JENNIFER comes into the scene as KID is leaving. PANDA, ARCHIE, MARIO, TOAD and STEPH are there. STEPH is lying down on a bench with a frozen latte and isn’t eating.
PANDA, ARCHIE, MARIO and TOAD take their bags of lunch and gather around a small table they set up to eat. JENNIFER watches them.
JENNIFER: Hey guys!
TOAD: What do you want?
ARCHIE: Yeah, can’t you see we have serious business to attend to?
JENNIFER: Riiiight, the boys from Taco Bell are totally gonna bust a cap in your wigger asses if you don’t chow down immediately right? I’m pretty sure the kid working the drive thru isn’t gonna go looking for payback because you put your burritos down for a second to talk to your super hot math teacher.
ARCHIE and TOAD looking at each other like the last part of JENNIFER’S statement was the stupidest thing they have ever heard.
JENNIFER: Look “homies” there’s $500.00 missing from the office and so…
ACTION: STEPH, sits straight up, walks over to the group and interrupts
JENNIFER.
STEPH: You think WE took it don’t you?
JENNIFER: Umm, no, that wasn’t what I was saying…
STEPH glares JENNIFER a very defiant stare and JENNIFER looks back sincerely like she doesn’t think they did it.
JENNIFER: You guys don’t know anything about this do you?
PANDA: NO, we DON’T.
JENNIFER: Besides Pantalano, does anyone else know anything about this?
PANDA, very angry gets up to go after JENNIFER.
PANDA: I SAID WE DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING!!!
STEPH stops PANDA from going after JENNIFER and comes right up to her and stares into her eyes.
STEPH: Look, even if we did know something about this we wouldn’t tell you anything. We are a lot of things but we aren’t rats. Got it?
JENNIFER: (smiles) I see. Sorry about that.
JENNIFER walks away but she stops with one more thing.
JENNIFER: Oh and one more thing. I’ll need 5 bucks from all of you. You
forgot to pay that kid back for lunch. (puts her hand out.)
TOAD gets mad and gets up to confront JENNIFER.
TOAD: Excuse me?
JENNIFER: (Smiling) I should expect at least 6 from all of you since only losers and deadbeats refuse to tip someone for fetching them something. However, word on the street is that he owed you one so I’ll take 5 from each of you straight up and we can call it even. Now pay up!
ARCHIE: HEY, don’t mess with us bitch! We’ll cut you up good!
MARIO pulls out a switchblade.
JENNIFER: Sure you will. J-ROC’S Compton hat thinks you’re a poseur. Now pay up… (pause) bitch!
ARCHIE getting 5 loonies from his pocket and dropping them on the GROUND in front of JENNIFER.
JENNIFER: Your parents busted their ass for that money you just threw on the ground. Now you pick it up and put it in my hand before I shove that knife so far up your ass you’ll be picking your teeth with it.
NOW!
STEPH and 3-D start looking scared and ARCHIE picks up the money and puts it in her hands. JENNIFER gives 3-D the death stare again.
JENNIFER: Well, at least one of you is man enough to settle up your debts. How about the rest of you?
JENNIFER puts her hand out again.
MARIO reaches into his pocket and pulls out a 5 dollar bill and hands it to JENNIFER. TOAD follows suit. PANDA finally pays up.
JENNIFER: You didn’t have anything STEPH?
STEPH: You see any food here? (waves his hand at the area around him.)
JENNIFER: (smiling) Pleasure doin’ business with you. SEE YA!!!
JENNIFER skips away.
THE 3-D GUYS LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?”
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I would still reel back the cheese a little in the dialogie and bump up the visual and actions to replace it possibly, but I’m liking it so far. Definitely been done before in other ways and I might be worried about that, but all in all not a bad idea. Cute characters and premise. But I do think a little carving of the visual should be considered and the way you use words to describe it could be a little more concise at times in terms of language. Just a suggestion. I really like the character of Jennifer a lot, which is important in sustaining a television series audience for years and years. Good luck with this project:-)
I think it would be a more effective satire if the faculty were not as openly confrontational with the students. If you’re trying to paint the group of students which are the main characters as being kind of high-school mafioso, then it would make more sense if they had the staff in their pockets. The kind of angry, vulgar, posturing conflict that VP Gordon has with the teens and the other staff would seem to me to quickly get him fired, or possibly killed.
As for the main conflict of this “episode” the missing 500 dollars, it would help with the satire if the stakes were a bit higher. Maybe the cafeteria fund is a mafia embezzlement scheme, and that 500 dollars is going to mean a lot more than just a lack of school lunches. I encourage you to encorporate your “inspirational teacher meets the sopranos” theme into more of the plot, as I think that theme has merit.
Also, I think that “5 large” usually refers to five thousand dollars, not five hundred. The larger sum of money would add to the story as well, because the stakes would be higher.
Difficult to get a hold on the characters, who is who, and who is the one we are supposed to sympathise with (I have a feeling it is panda) – but that may be because I haven’t read the first part of this. Correct formatting makes for easy reading, and shows you’ve taken trouble – so this was good to see. Some witty turns of phrase here, such as “I’ve got balls the size of grapefruits” – although you don’t need capital letters – if this were being performed the actors would lend their own inflection and meaning to the words, as would the director. Some of the language used in this may hinder it from being taken seriously, if you are hoping for publishing or performance, such as VP Gordon walking in “Like his balls are way too big for his pants”.
A somewhat frustrating read with all the aggression, but I have a feeling this is what you were aiming for. This looks more lika a stage play than a screen play, I think this could have more action, rather than just dialogue, as this makes for better characterisation. Although the lack of directions/props makes this potentially imaginative to produce.
I thought it was kind of interesting and kind of funny. I don’t think it was stupendous though. You have good intentions, but it is a little cliche. Also, all of the characters speak the same way and that’s kind of ridiculous. People should have a distinct way of talking, so we can notice the differences in characters. You need to improve on character development so you don’t create cliches like the VP (bad guy) and PANDA (rebel without a cause). I’ve only read this, but I DID read it all. Meaning it was doable and I like your style. Good work.
After reading the first part you had written, I am happy to see that the writing ability has improved. While I still cannot get through the whole piece, largely in part of the style of screenplay, I cannot knock that it was well written for the genre it is representing.
I really would like to see more of the writer’s work. The premise for the piece sounds good and interesting. Looks like some of the programs that are currently out there on T.V.
Interesting, but I may to far away from my school days to know how to critigue this properly. You have talent, keep working at it and this web site will get you more and helpful critigues than I can. Good luck!
This is a good piece.
PANDA: You don’t have the balls Gordon.
VP GORDON: I’ve got balls the size of GRAPEFRUITS PANDA!
CHARLIE: Huge ones kid. (Charlie makes the shape of a big ball with his hands.)
That selection made me laugh so hard. Keep writing. It’s intesting.
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