Flash Fiction / Hell Hath No Fury

mom would only be captialized if it were being used
in place of her proper name.
Thanks for the suggestion, though
and keep reading!
I appreciate your comments and time.

Yeah, I’ve heard what you said before by another reader,
but I thought the object of flash fiction was the
surprise ending.
Anyway, I have already rewritten the thing and will
post it forthwith.
Thanks for your review. All your suggestions are
duly noted… and have been considered in the review.

hahahaha.
yeah, this was my response to smokin’ hot chick by jweeb.
I was going to add this to her nano-fiction
but I couldn’t get it down to 55 words to save my life.
So I just built it back up and put it here ;-)
Thanks for the review and for trying to come up with a title.
I was thinking maybe “inflagrante delicto”

Actually, she realized that ‘both her men’
had a thing for this girl
and done ‘er in ;-P
A woman scorned!
Guess she realized her husband
was eyeing the priceless beautfy
while kissing her…
A woman scorned and all that… ;-P
so glad you liked it.
Thanks for your review and your time!

that would be a good title!  ”A woman scorned” sums it up perfectly!

I think that gives away too much of the ending.
which is supposed to be a secret… or surprise.
That’s the point of nano-fiction/flash-fiction.
I was thinking of Inflagrante Delicto.

yeah you’re right.  titles can be so hard sometimes, I  normally dont bother until i submit!  I like how Inflagrante Delicto sounds, not sure exactly what it means though.  (delicate flower??)

I’m sorry, i had to look it up! so its latin for caught red handed?  That works, two ways actually bc dad was caught too so I like it. (if thats even what it really means)

yes.
which is really to be ‘caught in the middle of sex’
or with ‘your hand in the cookie jar’ – proverbially.

This is the first draft, ML,
I agree with you though, the lines don’t really offer much.
I did cut this down from a longer piece and
didn’t mean to merely leave those
‘there,’ as lifeless as Lolly ;-)
I had a different set of lines originally,
not that I’m saying they were much better
or even ‘any’ better…
but as I was attempting to do nano-fiction,
I cut them down to make the piece shorter.
Turns out that, try as I might, I couldn’t
squeeze this into 55 words, so I went back
and replaced some of it, making it longer again.
I think lines 2 and 3 gave some inkling of
Dad’s semi-violent streak and
Lolly was oozing sexuality as she spoke.
But the point of flash and nano-fiction
is to try to get the story in without
using adjectives, adverbs and the like.
So, pray tell, what do you think this
would say here, that would be so impacting
that you would have to plagarize…?
And is that a reference to the piece I
wrote for you? hmmmmmmmmmmm
Now you’ve set me to wondering!