Poetry / Hall of Doom

I am a sucker for good flow so obviously I liked this one.  I loved the build and mystery element.  The ending was great.  Well done.  Thanks for the read!

Good description of a large high school. Pounding – misspelled.
You could improve meter on the 4th line: change “there is” to there’s.
The comparisons on 2nd to last line could be clearer.
Overall I liked it because it brought me back to old familiar grounds.

I have written a similar piece on the dreariness of school. although it is beneficial to gain education, it can feel like a prison of sorts. I like the way you have set this up, although i didn’t find it that funny, it did appeal to me. Sounds like the herd of students marching randomly to their first class upon the sound of the bell. this is good stuff.  

The twist at the end is great. It starts with kind of an amorphous, foreboding tone, and once you get through it and realize its describing a school hallway you can relate to the alienation and urgency implied. This is my first review here so I don’t know exactly what more to say, but hopefully I’ve contributed something.

It’s-funny-how-you-make-this-sound-so-serious-when-it’s-actually-commical-in-the-end! You did a good job, I would call this something like a pun with hell and school.  The words you used are convincing enough to make the reader actually think you are referring to hell itself. Good Job!

Clever and cute and so apropos of the writer’s life at this age! Well done!

There are some punctuation errors, as you have commas in some places where periods would be more suitable.. i.e. after “time.” The first line shouldn’t have a comma. That said, your content is good, well-focused, and you define your topic well. Good read.

Great work and you are so young. You wrapped it up well. Good luck, keep it up.