Flash Fiction / Burglary And Roses

I think I reviewed this one before but it is still a very entertaining piece. The last line was very funny.

i know it’s obvious who’s speaking, but i’d still say ‘said the man’ to distinguish him from the cop.

as for the humour, well, it’s not particularly imaginative.

my world does not expand with this piece, no. sorry.

OK, if he crawled out of the window, what did he slither out of?

You’re going for under 100 words? Micro fiction. Very nicely done. I liked the way it was written. Perfectly and without any faults. I didn’t think there would be a clever way to end it but the dialogue was a great and humorous way to end it. Very well done.

I liked the ending!  For some reason the last sentence didn’t sound quite right to me.  Maybe it would sound better if instead of ““I don’t think you’d believe I was the gardener, right?””, you wrote “I don’t suppose you’d believe I was the gardener, would you?”  But that’s just me.  Overall, I think it was a great piece, and I’m not that familiar with flash fiction, but this sounded like it would be better as part of a longer story.  Keep up the great writing!

hahaha. Great! Love the last line.

Good story.  I would change the word which to where.  That word seems to make it flow better.  I would also change the word a in the last sentence to the.  It would make him seem like he could be her gardener, not just any gardener.

I didn’t care for the last line, it almost works, but is awkward.  

Pretty good last line. You’re missing a word: “mahogany chest on which he had…” It does give you a lot to see in three sentences.