Thank you for your kind words and praises. Without hope there is nothing. Your family is in my prayers.
Non-fiction / A Mother's Prayer
I prayed for you, my little soldier and the Lord saw fit to bless my womb with the fruit of life.
But I was not ready.
I was ill prepared for the hardship you would bring, the labor of your birth being of no comparison to the journey that lay ahead.
The sickness that racked your body from birth drained my will and my love for you exploded in pain as I watched you whither. I cried a thousand tears until the ducts of my eyes encrusted with the salt of the sea of misery I began to drown in.
I looked into your round brown eyes, so filled with the promise of the great man you were to become but your shriveled limbs mocked me. I searched for an answer but no book neither medicine man nor extensive Google search would yield a clue. It was so unfair that my little man had to endure the pokes, the prodding, and the bright of the powerful light that invaded those rare moments of rest.
But your spirit was so strong.
Your laughter invited a chorus of accompaniment; it was so infectious. Your smile brightened the entire nursing staff and your innocence gave strength to other children who shared similar circumstance. Little Liz in the next bed had only the strength each day to sit up so she could return your enthusiastic wave hello. But you were oblivious to the despair surrounding you.
My little soldier, so strong-willed, eager to learn, and free of fear. You were such a sight to see and I had to run to keep up with you as you pushed the too-tall IV pole that held the feeding tube the ignorant physicians forced down your nasal canal and into your swelled stomach. You were so little, so very little, so thin, so very thin but so strong, so very strong.
You started to sing one day.
You hadn’t eaten the cafeteria prepared meal because the tubing was irritating to your throat but you started to sing.
You were so weak and could barely keep your eyes open, your body was so flushed with fever yet you started to sing.
“Yes Jyee-zus loves me; yes Jyee-zus loves me”.
My tears began afresh as I remembered my earlier prayer and so I returned to the beginning to begin again and sang with you. A blessed lullaby of renewed hope until your breath dwindled to a heavy sigh barely escaping your concave chest. I kneeled beside your bed and took your frail hand in my own and began to pray.
“Father god in heaven, thank you for blessing me with this little boy. Lord, watch over him and cover him in your precious blood. Touch every limb of his body. I come boldly to your throne as a mother standing on your word and in that word it reads that if I ask it in the name of the father and the son, it shall be done. Lord, I pray that you remove the disease that has laid hold of my child. Anoint him from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet. Father god, heal my son’s body. Lord, bless him to walk upright, to eat and gain nourishment, and to grow. Oh heavenly father, regenerate his appetite and mend his bones. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Lord, I know that this boy has a purpose and I am standing on faith that he will be healed today Lord and I thank you Jesus. In your precious name I pray that your will be done and I thank you for your merciful healing power. Amen”.
At the close of my prayer, you opened your eyes and touched my cheek and said “It’s alright mommy. Don’t cry,” then drifted back to sleep.
It has been a year since that fateful battle with the physicians in which I demanded the tubes be removed from your body and all form of medication be ceased.
I look at you now and praise god that you have grown so big, you are getting so heavy and are so smart.
Thank you Jesus.
Thank you for my little soldier.
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ally2kc reviewed Version 1 -
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jenbabe4198 reviewed Version 1 -
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aquaruischick reviewed Version 1 -
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What does the little boy have? Who are the characters? This is not bad, but you should have given some information on the above mentioned. Develop this piece and continue to tell us how the family is in the future.
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herpen reviewed Version 1 -
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This is absolutely stunning.
Normally I’m completely switched off by people writing about their intimate personal experiences but when I read brought tears to my eyes. How could it not.
I think the way these kind of pieces are written makes a big impact on whether they are readable. I love the way the works are put together here
‘neither medicine man nor extensive Google search would yield a clue.’
The use of repetition is powerful too.
crimson007 reviewed Version 1 -
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This hit home so hard. I felt your despair, the 1000’s of tears you cried and I’m always reminded of the Tori Amos song when I hear about tears and oceans…such a beautiful song. Your story was touching and drew me in, and I can relate. I have a son with a disability also, though not at all the same as your son had/has. I too have prayed to God, laid hands on him and asked in Jesus name for him to be healed and made whole. I’m happy that you were able to go forward in strength and stand up against the ignorant doctors, and take your son home. How wonderful that he is doing so good. Thank you for sharing, it gives hope that maybe one day things will be better.
rama reviewed Version 1 -
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Ow. It’s so sad but ends very nicely. I loved it. My dad works with disabled students and is a minister. I kind of know where you are coming from with your story and I can relate to it. Thank you very much, I enjoyed it.
My very best,
O’Rama A.
teaddub reviewed Version 1 -
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This is a wonderful story. I love that you have shared it with us.
Your discriptive language is very good, but there are some glaring errors. “You were so little, so very little, so thin, so very thin but so strong, so very strong.” Repitition can be a useful tool when used right. “Very” is word you should do your best to avoid, so repeting “very” is not a good use of that tool. Very is just a weak desciptive, and there are so many better ways of saying it.
You have a fair command of the English language, and I think with a little revision this could be a stellar piece. Thank you.
Lyrical_Graffiti reviewed Version 1 -
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Beautiful! Very touching and inspirational. Your struggle is one to admire.
the_engaged_few reviewed Version 1 -
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To say that this is a heartwrenching and warming tale does it scant justice. Very powerful, and a wonderful read.
One the technical side, “whither” should be “wither.”
“I searched for an answer but no book neither medicine man nor extensive Google search would yield a clue,” is confusing. It would work better if it were reworded.
“You were so little, so very little, so thin, so very thin but so strong, so very strong.” This sounds redundant. Maybe broken into two sentences, starting at “But so strong.”
“I returned to the beginning to begin again” is also redundant.
Other than that, this is a great piece.
freshsounds reviewed Version 1 -
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I love almost everything about this—the word choice is superb, the meaning is clear, the flow is excellent and compelling; my eyes were flying by the time I got to the end prayer.
There are just two minor minor grammar/structures things I’d tweak: add a comma after “my little soldier” in the beginning, and remove the “are” in “are so smart” towards the very end (parallel tenses.)
Your emotion is very well expressed. You’ve got the gift of words =)
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