Poetry / I live in a giant bucket

Took me back to the day I went deep-sea fishing. I never thought about life from the bait’s point of view until now. I already had difficulty getting the buggers on to the hook; now you’ve gone and made people of them!

My favorite lines:
My body will wither
crackle
and dust

I like how you made vebs out of crackle and dust. And the last line holds tremendous finality. Excellent off-the-cuffness.

Writing from the perspective of a worm, that’s…interesting.
The only error I found in your poem was “plunge”; it sounded like the worm was thinking about escaping the bucket and ending up on the sand; “plunge” usually relates to water. Instead, how about
“the water sloshes; I hear a splash;
one of these days, I’ll make a mad dash”?

I would write “on salt and ON rust” which would make that line flow better.

Not a bad poem. Sounds like a sad existence for a worm.(I assume) Can’t help but feel sorry for the poor little fella. The structure of your poem kind of resembled a wiggly worm too. Good fob.

Unique poem, taking the perspective of a forgotten worm, fish bait. You did a very good job of leaving hints as to what it was, without ever saying it.

I really enjoyed reading it!