Humor/Satire / Pixel Logic

I thought this piece was hilarious. I don’t even know what game you’re talking about, (I’m guessing something like “World of Warcraft”-back in my day it would have been D&D) and still find it very entertaining. I think the language is what does it. I’ve never heard the word “fucktard” before, but I like it. I’ve always been a big fan of “douche bag” and like to mix it up from time to time with something like “douche water.” Good job.  

This is reading like a rant, the filthy language detracts from the piece. The scene set is humorous however, but the same place and scene could be set, without all the obscenity. The reader does understand that the person on the computer is tabbing back and forth between a computer game and a pornographic website, and the conflicting thoughts that ensue. Well written, but the obscenities detract from the piece. I would rework it, with the same scenes, but with minimal foul language.

This is funny. I don’t play online games, but I get enough of the gist here to understand. This would almost be better placed under Nano-fiction than Humor/Satire. that’s just my humble opinion though. I love it that we’re not even into online porn anymore, we are into video game female avatars. Jeez, man. Go outside and play or something. LOL. I love the video game geek lingo as well.