Sci Fi & Fantasy / Bath Tub- Last Part
Cleo and Marsh arrived at the hospital all bloody and torn. Cleo parked the stolen car in the hospital parking lot. She was staring at her injuries and Marsh’s.
As bad as her injuries were she knew that they would eventually heal and that she didn’t need to see a doctor. Marsh on the other hand wasn’t as lucky as her, he didn’t have any ability to heal himself. Out the vast things that she could do Cleo did not have the power to heal others.
”Do you think that you make it on your own in their or do I need to help you?” He was in so much pain and he knew that he needed to see a doctor but he still dreaded going in there. “I can make it, but what are you going to do”?
She laughed for a second he must have forgotten that she wasn’t ordinary she thought. “I’ll do what I always do heal.” She dreaded the idea of leaving him alone in that hospital because she knew that the Danver’s would want to retaliate after what she had done this night, and that they would most likely go after Marsh.
Cleo wished that she knew some shady doctor that could take care of him but she didn’t. Going to a public hospital would surely put Marsh in the Danver’s radar. “Are you sure that you don’t know anybody can look at your wounds?”
He was touched by her concern and knew that there would be some sort of consequence for going into that hospital too. “Just because I’m black doen’s mean that I know a whole ray of criminal types,” he looked over and smiled at her.
She screamed “FUCK”, we are so screwed she thought, then she remembered how Marsh felt about people swearing in front of him, “I’m so sorry I forgot.”
For once it was alright for someone to be swearing in front of him, hell he felt like swearing himself. He felt the hopelessness of their situation and how they both dug themselves into a hole that neither one of them can climb out of.
Cleo knew that he needed medical attention but she knew that once he got it that she needed to get him as soon as they were done. “Listen Marsh, I promise you that whatever happens I will get you out no matter what.”
It hurt for him to move but he was able to put one of his arms up and a hand on one of her sholders. “Were both responsible for what happen tonight and they will come after us equally. One of them is dead and the other two are mamed, granted one more than the other. You need to think of yourself get out of town before they find you!”
There was no way that she was going to leave him behind and with a loud voice she yelled “NO”! For the first time in Cleo life she was able to connect with a human being. She was able to tell him things that she was never able to tell anyone else before. She felt as though she had made a real connection with Marsh that she never been able to make with anyone else before and she wasn’t about to lose that no matter what he said or did.
Marsh figured that since Cleo didn’t rapidly heal that the Danver’s could probably kill her. He knew that it would take her a couple of days to heal from her injuries but if she could have rapidly healed he would wanted her to come and rescue him. “I can take care of myself!”
Cleo decided that she needed to reson with him. “You said it yourself one of them is dead and two of them are mamed, and I think that you forgotten about the fire I started when we left, it was so big that the cops and the fire fighters can’t ignore even though it was a bad neighborhood, and with their money there is no way in hell that their not going to have you arrested.”
Marsh closed his eyes and wished for things to be different. “I can’t talk you out of this can I,” he turned to Cleo and she shook her head no. For a brief second she let her mind wonder back to the warehouse where she could see the fire man laughing in the roasted remain of the warehose as they drove off.
”I wish that I could go in there with you but you know by now that they had to have reported what happened. And as soon as they figure out who you are the’ll have cops swarming the place. I can’t use any of my abilities in a very public place or anywhere that has lots of security cameras but I promise you that I will figure out away to get you out.”
Marsh opened up the car door and got out he leaned towards the car window and said, “you still owe me for that car seat that you damaged,” and then he started to move towards the hospital in his damaged broken state.
Cleo was watching head towards the hospital and she couldn’t help but feel that this was all her fault. She started cry histarically and she then put her head on the stearing wheel. Cleo knew that there would be a great risk of her starting a fire if she didn’t calm down, so she had to remind herself that Marsh was depending on her to get him out.
She started to breathe in and out with deep breaths and she was able to find some paper napkins to dry her face with. As soon as she saw Marsh enter the hospital she drove off.
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I apoligise for not reading any of your past chapters as I am a new member. With out knowing the story-line so far I have the impression that cleo is a cross between what was called a firestarter ‘Cleo knew that there would be a great risk of her starting a fire’ and a vampire ‘she knew that they would eventually heal’. Although this is only my impression from one mere portion of your writing. This is in itself is good for then I can envisage the character and if I am wrong then I continue to read to find out what or who she is. Even though only once in this small portion have you used profanity (God what a word) “FUCK”, be cautious for not all readers are inspired by such things. Notice I haven’t mentioned the grammar. If it isn’t the final draft then it is unnecessary. I read this which I have found interest so that I may now understand your next chapter.
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It’s tempting to kick the baby out the nest and let it fly but I suggest doing a synopsis of the missing part and add it at the beginning to see how it reads. Overall this story works.
Even though I haven’t read your previous parts or chapters this is very interesting. The character development is good as well. From this chapter I am very captivated and you have done a nice job at keeping the audience’s attention.
I think you connected with the readers more with this one than with previous chapters by showing the humanity. You had multiple POV switches, and it would be smoother with just one. In one of the paragraphs, you were repetitive. Cleo was thinking about her connection with Marsh, and she didn’t want to lose that, then she said the exact same thing with slightly different words. This is not an ending; this is Cleo dumpling Marsh at the hospital. There has been no resolving of the conflict with the Danvers. However, I do think this was one of your best chapters.
Unfortunately, this is the first part of this I’ve managed to read (I’ll read the rest ASAP) so if I say something that’s been covered, I sincerely apologize.
I like these characters. They’re believable and interesting. I take it Cleo is a firestarter or a psychic? I especially liked the part about Marsh not liking profanity, but not minding this one time. Though, you might want him to say that, because the point of view wanders there a little.
I can’t say for certain, but I don’t think this is a good place to end this. It leaves too many questions as to what happens to the characters. If you’re planning a sequel, that’d be okay. Leaving a character injured and likely to be captured either by his enemies or the authorities isn’t a very satisfying ending, normally.
I look forward to reading the rest, and any more of your work you post.
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