Flash Fiction / Passion

Amazing. I laughed in the ending because I was, indeed, surprised. I loved it and I look forward to reading more from you.

YAY! Nanofiction is spreading like a meme across Urbis! I love it. This was perfect! Checkmate indeed! Excellent job.

Nicely done.

Very nicely done. I was taken by surprise with the ending, but expected it from reading your notes. I could never write pieces like this, though I am now tempted to try. Bravo.

I really enjoyed this. And I was grateful to be introduced to 55-fiction! Very well done.

well for a new genre it’s intresting.  you certainly got your idea of passion across, and the conflict that she didn’t wanna, and the resolution, that you did.  not sure it’s for me, but it worked!

I adore this piece.  I love that you put a sexual setting into the reader’s mind with the first bit, leaving us shocked with “Grabbing her – he slams her down hard!”  I was envisioning rape or something!
The last line is exactly what it should be, no long explanation needed.

You have succeed in achieving the five elements needed for your NanoFiction or 55 Fiction. The last line was a humours surprise. This was a clever piece of writing.  Chess this the last thing I would of thought about in the terms you have chosen, but it works so well. Who would of thought.

Written the other way around, with chess representing sexual conquest, it might have more suspense.

It is witty and it does meet many of the requirements. It is hard to establish suspense in such a short piece. Great symbolism and use of the (common) mind. Many people would immediately imagine a sexual adventure.  

When writing for a shock factor try to imagine what woud shock you. This doesn’t shock me; it’s only chess. Now, if it were the other way around and the chess represented sex, then my eyebrows would raise.

Nice writing. You are on a roll with this style.

After checkmate, did he tear her apart & eat her? Was his lovely virgin queen just meat for his lusty thrust? Did King Anatoly Karpov chess grandmaster inspire you? Or was it Chubais or perhaps http://www.anatolykrynsky.com/galleries/princess/index.htm

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January 01, 2008

by Lin

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
564	64.8% (159 votes)	59.8%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
69	M	Australia	September 29

I’ve read the reviews & must admit I’d not heard of ‘flash fiction’ before. Shades of Dick Tacey & his trenchcoat.

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