Poetry / old man (Analysis)

Serene melody. A very simplistic, harmonious combination of realism and imagination – music is the art of auditory communication.

I get the sense that in playing music with and beside such an innocent young girl, the old man touched the divine in some way and was called home.  It reads like one long sentence, which I find intriguing, yet I feel it breaks the rhythm a bit.  You have painted a peaceful scene.

I picture him dead with a smile on his face, slumped over in the street next to the girl.  They play music together, then he dies next to her?  Maybe you mean that he dies later, I don’t know.  The way it’s worded, he dies right then next to her.  If that’s the case, it turns a pretty, peaceful beginning and middle into a much less pretty and peaceful end.  I think I’d like it better if he just left her after a while with a smile on his face, content that he found someone to make music with for a little while.  Not so grim.

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April 16, 2008

by planetaryexit

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I do not see the death of the old man as being grim. You see the theam of this peice was life, and with that death. Besides to die happy is something rare indeed.

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This is very nice.  What great contrast between the old man and the girl, opposites in so many ways: age, gender, him at first silent, her playing, he is wandering aimlessly, she has staked her position…but still musicians.

I like the simple language and how precisely the action is portrayed.  This is elegant and concise.  

The ending is nice, as though one final interaction of this sort was needed before he would say farewell and move on…

very nice.  pretty.