Humor/Satire / A touch of FATE
Hi, my name is Wynyfryyed Weston. I have long, long red hair and beautiful silvery eyes which makes people look twice or three times when they see me. I’m tall and have legs that go on for miles and I like to wear corsets every day. My grandfather is a pedetrcan so he tells me to eat more becauses my skin is very pale. We live in Miami right across the street from some really nice old ladies.
Anyway, I’m eleven years old and weird stuff has been happening. The other day I woke up, and I was stronger than ever. I’m scared to tell my Grandfather, and my mom ran off with the new guy in the neighbrohoof,and I never learned who my father is.
Chapter One
Present Day, Miami, July 4th
“Wynyfred!” called my Grandfather.
“WHAT?” I asked. I was busy listening to My Chemical Romance in my room. I just painted my walls black because I was sad. Nobody in my school liked me, and I didn’t talk to anyone.
“I want you to meet my friend, from England.”
“I don’t want to! I’m sad!”
“Well, we’re coming to your room.” I tried to hide, and I was just about to jump out the window when they got to my room. An old guy was standing with my grandfather, wearing tweed. I knew something was going to happen because I’ve always been kinda psychic. ”Wynnfryyeed, this is Rupert Giles, my friend from college.”
“What kind of name is that?” I asked ”Let me be sad, I promise I won’t cut myself.”
“THeers no time for that.” said Rupurt Giles. ”We will need to start your training immeaditly.”
“What?” I asked “Training?”
“Yes.” He said, he had a really english accent. ”Your a slayer, one of many, and we need you’re help.”
“A what?” Slatyer? Sounded lammme.
“You are super strong, right?” asked Repert Giles
“How did you know? Are you a spy?”
“No. We did a spell. Your Grandfather says it’s okay for you to go to England, and go to a new school and learn how to be a slayer.”
“IT’S NOT FAIR!!! I don’t want to go to STUPID England!” I was going to throw something out of the window, when I saw a weird owl.
Then, a letter came, addressed to me. Grandpa looked scared.
“No… It can’t be.” he said. ”No…”
“Harry….” said a voice, from nowhere. “It’s time.”
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!” said my Grandpa “I won’t let her go!”
“Please, tell me what the toddy is going on?” asked the Gilees guy
“I come from a long line of witches.” said my Grandfather “I hoped my dear Granddaughter wouldn’t have to suffer, but it appears she’s a witch.”
“I’m a witch? Cool!” I could put spells on people, and get whatever I wanted.
“It’s not cool.” said my Grandfather “We need to get you in slayer school, fast!”
“How curious. A Slayer who is a witch.” The Giles guy scrathced his beard.
Before I knew it, I was in a chevy convertable, with my Grandpa, Giles, the owl, and a lady with brown hair. She said her name was Hermionee Weasly. They had to think fast, and get me out of there. She was really mad becausse I was a prophecy, or something. I didn’t care. I thought it was really cool.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Although I haven’t read the Harry Potter books, I assume this is a parody or imitation of them. Fine.
It is also apparent that you haven’t proofread this piece at all. You’ll save yourself a lot of credits by proofreading. Comments on missing/incorrect/sloppy punctuation tend to be lengthy.
One last point: the category “Humor/Satire” is really meant for humor and satire. You appear to be writing a parody, which would only be satire if you use irony, biting sarcasm, or wit to deride Harry Potter. Is this your purpose?
My advice to you would be to proofread this text a few times and then resubmit it under fantasy, novel treatments, or short story.
- add/view comments (3)
Showing 1 - 1 of 1
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
