Thanks for the feedback, DCAllen. I suck. Can’t quite figure out how to present this one. I’m working on it though.
Poetry / Mount Everest (Why bother?)
Knot for climbing
Not for climbing
Naught for climbing
Sir Edmund Hillary fucked it up for me
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PaperSuzie reviewed Version 4 -
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Lost on me, unnecessarily offensive.
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bluebethley reviewed Version 4 -
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The first three lines worked very well for me, with a witty play on knot, not, naught, leading then to Sir Edmund Hillary (a sense of history, place, accomplishment, adventure). Switching style by using fucked turned the poem inside out. The poem lost energy and connection . . . for me, but may be amusing for someone else.
jpatts reviewed Version 4 -
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The bluntness of it! I love how there is so much sarcasm and resentment in such few words. Short and to the point, like this review.
DCAllen reviewed Version 3 -
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I’m really not sure why Hillary fucked it up for you. Was he the first to climb Everest? The word play with Knot, Not, and Naught doesn’t seem to be very important.
If you have your own Mt. Everest, why did Hillary fuck it up for you?
Willow_Wren reviewed Version 1 -
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Naughty knots are not for climbing. They come undone. What has Sir Hilary got to do with all this and why the profanity in such a short piece that is all telling? Hard to relate to actually.
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| Version 4 | Version 3 (Deleted) | Version 2 (Deleted) | Version 1 (Deleted) |