Poetry / Profan
The air tears in odd places, the streaking
Light nipping at red cheeks as we pass beneath the
Sun; Lunar now, the cataract of an Eclipse blinding the walk-way.
Your feet and mine tread softly down the well-graded trail,
Gravel, smooth stone of basalt and
Marble contours rushing against our soles.
Our head is down and our smiles spread- yours mirthful and wide
With the soft flesh of your face disproving innocence into the Heat,
The subtle protrusion of my sharper whites displaying the smile of a predator.
‘It is the best time of these years, when the snow rains down
From the sky and settles upon the shimmering dark waters of the
Desert.’
—And at your command a tipped crystal ran its way
Across my eyes and down my cheek, dissolving neatly at
My lips. They split, and my tongue took in the precious moisture.
-—-
A crimson-autumn bloom ran its way across the
Arbor, tugging at our loose clothing, begging to be torn away from the
Cold of the Sun, or to in turn, tear away our own Protection.
-—-
My eyes, full in the sunlight now became slits, diamonds
To the pale light that ran down from the Heaven.
I looked to you, and to the bloom of a
Rose.
‘If you watch closely, when the snow reaches the petal, the flower
Closes, kissing in the moisture.’
Quiet, bubbling in liquid laughter you offer me the
Solace of, ‘In Love or in Lust? Water is precious though the Garden
Is well fed.’
-—-
Why do we travel these roads in the odd twilight
Of cold stars and lush deserts?
Can we find a path between them; do we find our way
In the balance, or do we lean towards an extreme as
Our minds are in awe of
Rapture,
The beauty of something in the world?
—Worst yet, do we accept it as we see it?
Then we must contend with fact, and lie, and nature, and self.
Although these things by mere Existence resent and oppose one-another.
-—-
What do we believe?
Why?
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You really have set the mood well in this piece. However, the capital on the front of every line makes it harder to read. Also, there are a couple changes that I feel would make it stronger.
places; the streaking
Sun, Lunar now
head is(heads are) down, and our smiles spread-
split parted?
self,
Although
Just a few grammar edits. Nice job overall.
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