Ha. By far it isn’t finished. There are many of these, some I didnt. Homes are buildings. We all live in buildings. I don’t really find the point in using a microscope with poems of humor…I find it to be nothing more than ostentatious display of education. As to the title, it completely goes with the aforementioned clever attempts, but thanks. You are very right about the last little one though and I will be looking to cut that soon.
Poetry / The Residents of Malibu show Benevolence by forgiving you for using their Beaches
Public Service Announcement #1
We will be cutting
down all the tree’s that
block the view
to our beautiful buildings.
Announcement #2
(for lack of better timing)
The sun has now
been asked to set
15 minutes early
in accordance to our
love of the night.
This is not Resolution
(announcement #4)
Bargain days
for simple idea’s
has now ended.
Announcement # 7
Pay attention
to current trends,
there will be a test.
Final Announcement
To open,
slide finger under
this mark-
to receive coupon
for your soul debt.
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helenely reviewed Version 1 -
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I suppose it is a humourous poem, I mean rather ironical if the residents of Malibu are ready to sell their best principles and destroy their environment!
Good work!
Willow_Wren reviewed Version 1 -
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I am not sure how the poem ties in with the title and why the announcements do not follow in order, what happened to #3 etc.? #1 is just a statement. As are all the rest. Perhaps a clever attempt at something that didn’t quite make it. Do the residents of Malibu reside in builings or homes? The last stanza leaves me wondering, there is nothing to slide a finger under and it comes out of the blue.
Dharma_Bum reviewed Version 1 -
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Brilliant. I love the overall setup. How you use announcements, almost like your at a shopping mall, or a store. Very depressing and cynical, but with an overall wit. I picture vast stampedes of shoppers going about the destructive consumerism, whilst the world around them shapes itself to our needs. A wonderfull piece, I wouldnt change a thing, hell maybe add some more lines..
Jennyfer reviewed Version 1 -
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I feel that this would have been a great poem, if the readers knew what is going on. i lost it from “Announcement#2.”
The title doesn’t work with the poem at all. There’s too many words.
Other than that. Great work : D
blimprue reviewed Version 1 -
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Interesting format. This gives the impression of one who knows this community from the inside, not just through news reports.
Or more of a satire of America in general?
onlywish reviewed Version 1 -
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My understanding of this poem is beyond explanation. It’s a math equation so clear in my mind, but I am unable to write into words.
Brian reviewed Version 1 -
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Excellent. The scathing edge to your words reminds me of Dylan. The title is perfect, and writing in announcment form makes these people look even more arrogant. Great work, wouldn’t change a thing.
Jus_Juan reviewed Version 1 -
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I like how random each paragraph was. The public service announcements have helped make this peace funny. Thats good that it had humor and was at a steady rythem. Good work and good job. Peace Juan
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