Poetry / Morgana's Wake
fingers white and thin
caress the carcass
of a swallow on rock and wood.
she plucked leaves of deep green,
oleander white and purple
nightshade to crown him
King of the Dead.
delving into the mountain,
nails bloodied and torn,
she found at the place where
obsidian met granite the secrets
of what had gone before.
in a tomb all dewed in black tears,
she lay on the altar
side by side with her lover,
a princess of the night newly made.
They wander together,
robed in flame. They bring Hell
in with them;
she-and the swallow king.
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Normally, I’m a stickler about capitalization, but….well, I like how you used it to your advantage here with Hell and King of the Dead.
Actually, a lot of things about this defy all of the things I would normally say: you took an overused tragedy/love and gave it new light. Good word choice – I really enjoyed this.
The only thing I might say is to make sure the lines can stand alone and not be pieces of separate thoughts: for example “she found at the place where
obsidian met granite the secrets” Could “the secrets” shift down to the next line?
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Very, very interesting! Quite thought-provoking as well as dark and atmospheric. If I had to pick a favorite part it would be this:
“in a tomb all dewed in black tears,
she lay on the altar
side by side with her lover,
a princess of the night newly made.”
Definitely awesome. Excellent imagery. Keep up the good work!
nice poem. it took me from death to the mountian top and beyond.the last verses are classic “side by side…robed in flame…she and the swollow king….love it
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