Short Story / The End (revised)
Every night for the past three years, she sat and waited by the living room window. Usually after supper she would join her younger sister in listening to her father read to them both, while they would lie on the hardwood floor and draw with their colored pencils. That was three years ago, before he left. Everything was different now.
Even the town itself had changed. The days had grown dark and wet. Even the colors of the buildings seemed dull and gloomy. No one wore a smile anymore. There was rarely any cause for any form of joy in those long, tedious years.
Then next day was September 29, 1918. When they went to bed on the twenty-eighth, they didn’t expect to read about any major changes the next day. The local paper announced that the Allies had broken through the Hindenburg line. They all kept up with the following headlines and articles, waited through the reports of mutiny, battles, Kaiser Wilhelm’s abdication, and the founding of the German republic. Finally, the reason why mothers couldn’t sleep at night, the reason why brothers and sisters didn’t feel like playing anymore, the reason why she sat at the living room window every night; they had all been waiting for November 11th to come. They didn’t know when it would end, they expected it to be much sooner, but they were glad the end had come at last.
He was coming home. She could hardly wait. In three days, she would see the boy who had a part of her that she’d given him willingly. Both of their families gathered the evening before he was to arrive and had a small feast. They all were so excited to see their friend, brother, son, and girlfriend once again.
She was so anxious to see him that she started for the train station an hour and one-half before he was to arrived. She watched each one or two come and go, as they unloaded their passengers. She knew that his train wasn’t due yet, but she still looked at every face on descending off each car, just to make sure. He had written in his letter that he had to take many long train rides to reach his small hometown. He had included when and where he would be arriving and such. He had said more in his letter, but she didn’t read those parts aloud to the family.
It was time. He would be arriving within the next few minutes. Her heart was pounding and her stomach was unsettled and she felt disoriented with excitement. The two families had arrived about a half hour before. Her mother looked at her, noticing she was shaking slightly. She wrapped her arms around her, assuming she was cold.
There it was—he was coming. She could hardly contain herself. The huge engine steamed and whistled and finally stopped. Soldiers stepped off and swarmed the station as they greeted their loved ones with warm embraces. Then she saw him. For the first time in three years, she saw him. The boy she had waited for was now a man. His face had become sad and weary. But when he saw her and looked into her loving eyes, he smiled as if someone had handed him the moon. They embraced each other and both of them wept and laughed. Their families gathered around them and they all individually embraced him.
That night, after they had all had a wonderful meal, with laughter, some tears, the telling of jokes, and old stories, the all settled down in the living room and continued in their joy and relief. She stood up from her seat and started to the kitchen to help clean up the dishes. He followed her with his hands in his pockets and his head slightly lowered. He asked if he could help her, naturally she accepted.
When they were through washing and drying, she turned to go out the kitchen door, but he stopped her. She looked at him inquiringly and he bent down on one knee. He pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket and opened it in front of her. Her eyes filled with tears as she knelt down with him and hugged him. He held her close and promised he would never leave her.
Later that evening they were walking outside. It wasn’t a completely clear night, only a few stars shone, but they shined brightly. It had rained that day and the clouds had begun to clear. Huge, rolling white clouds, like strong, ocean waves being pushed away by the sky. It was almost black with small lights shining through brightly, as if the vast blanket of the night had holes cut through it to show the light of the next day.
They walked slowly, arm in arm. She was clinging tightly to his arm and laying her head on his shoulder. As the night grew colder and the sky grew lighter, they kept walking, saying nothing. Content in their silence, they walked on with the assurance that they would always be there for each other. They thought there would never be anything else that would separate families as the War to End all Wars had.
Twenty-three years later, they realized they had been wrong. Now it was their son’s turn to leave, and his family to wait for him every evening at the living room window.
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This 113 word review has not been unlocked.
This is good, but it lacks conflict and there is really no climax except for the son going off to war. If you added a little in about the mom and dad’s relationship – how he has changed by his experience, how they had raised their son, just more about them in general and less about how ideal their relationship was it would add depth to the piece. Up until the last sentence, it’s just a love story with no struggle, and with a little more background in how war is affecting the characters I think the end would have more impact.
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January 10, 2006
Deleted User
This 121 word review has not been unlocked.
Beautiful romatic story, and I love historical fictions, but I have to say one thing. If the story took place in 1918, then there is no way that he could’ve taken a bus home. There where no buses at that time. In order to make a historical fiction good, you should do research. Other then that, beautiful story!
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