Haiku/Senryu / Ode to Urbis

its very amusing!

although I don’t know why, but i don’t like the last line.

Very clever.

Last line
equilibrium
or
word symbiosis

Just ideas.

This senryu attempts to treat urbis and our credit system as a subject worthy of poeticizing in haiku/senryu. It is light-hearted, and in this forum, apropos. Urbis readers who read the Haiku/senryu, or just find this in the queue, will definitely   review this piece, but are likely to tell you that this is not a haiku because of the subject matter. “Words” should be capitalized. Punctuation should be omitted. Overall, I give this piece a 7.

to review you, it does beg another rewriting of the last line however, good.

r u kissin urbis for an advertising job o som’n?

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December 13, 2007

by Cestlavive

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
58	80.0% (5 votes)	23.6%

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17	F	Middleburg, FL	November 26

Rofl, No i just wrote it cause i was in the mood, and i do really love urbis, it inspired me to start writing again.

December 13, 2007

by weepingclouds

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
208	33.3% (12 votes)	35.5%

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101	M	United States	December 18

coo

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Although probably only appreciated by urbisites, this was cute and made me smile.  For line 3, something like “word credits balance” might be a touch clearer, but I’m sure everyone here would understand anyway.

Thanks!

amusing tidbit
fitting senryu/haiku form
Urbis criteria

There is truth to this. I certainly love urbis.

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December 08, 2007

by Cestlavive

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
58	80.0% (5 votes)	23.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
17	F	Middleburg, FL	November 26

So do i, it inspires me to write

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Don’t know if I would actually call it love…
You certainly make your point.

I concur, it is all very balanced out…kinda like the syllables in a haiku, eh? :)

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December 08, 2007

by Cestlavive

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
58	80.0% (5 votes)	23.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
17	F	Middleburg, FL	November 26

Mhm, lol i wrote that part because of urbis always emphasizing to give is to receive

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