Poetry / I Got Your Poem Right Here, Buddy

What can I say?
I liked it.
So many people think that poetry consists in slapping any two rhyming words together.
I’ve had to wade through countless poems that would, were I their author, have otherwise wound up wadded up like so many multiplying paper rabbits, at my tired feet.
So much trite rubbish tries to pass itself off as prose,
let alone poetry, but enough! Let’s talk about that in another venue.
I did so much resonate with your work and enjoyed it’s wonderful flow.
The only issue I took with 2 things
1. “pastoralidyllicboring” I found this a little distracting because I had to slow down to unravel the words. Is there a purpose for this jumble? and
2. and I trust you, yourself, will not take umbrage, but why “ravings like shavings”????
why did you choose, after such a lovely, nonsensical flow of words, to employ that alliterative tool? I was distracted by it and felt it did not belong.
Was there a reason for it that I ignore?
I think a simple, pink, eberhard #2 pencil eraser will handle that just fine,
let me know how it all comes out.
Don’t like my opinion?
So soo mee, so soo me, so soo me! ;-P

I love the metaphors in this.  Mostly the first with the sheep I can just so see it.  The only problem I have is the ‘ham-bone’ and ‘da-dum’  I don’t really know if its because of what it is, or how much there is of it.  But it takes away from what the poem was saying.  I mean you’re trying to show people that it’s not as easy as some think to write poetry.  But putting those ‘nonsense’ words into it tells us, yeah it’s still really really simple all they have to do is put a few lines of these words and voila a poem is made.  
The idea of it is wonderful, and like a lot of things I read it because of the title.  But maybe if you deleted one of the stanza it would read better?  

LOL. Love the title! Reminds me of a Dwight Yoakum tune I love.

Words waiting in a cue to become born are a piece of poetry. That’s just brilliant! I think I am in love with the way you think, especially the cow-part.

I just don’t really like the repitious parts, or at least reading them. This poem read aloud would be spactacular.

~thysta

I like your contempt…as you say, words are just words and can become phoney
but especially at the end of your poem I could really feel your intensity and I emotionally enjoyed it..Rage! rage! check Dylan Thomas and Mariann Moore for structure..Thanks.

BAHAHAHHA!.. I can tell you that I know nothing about poetry.. So an intelligent review is probably not what your gonna get from me.. However; you did have me laughing my ass off.. sho nuff hambone.. I did hear your message and ITS ABOUT Time someone said it…Poetry is suppose to be about expression and im glad you are not another one of those people that try and make it fit inside some mythical box/// Thanks… hambone

This was a very entertaining poem. I like the flow of the piece. I enjoyed the sillybabble of the “da-dum hoo-hah”. Who says nonsense isn’t poetry? The ending about “all sounds become music” is a nice way to wrap this up.

“bovine ballerinas” reminds me of Fantasia… no wait… those were hippos.

Well I’m not sure what all the “hoo-hah” mess in the middle was about (perhaps that’s the music in your head) but I do think the rest was good. I take this as commentary on writing (maybe traditional vs contemporary). The first stanza is great for the imagery and sound (except for that damned word which took me 5 minutes just to break down and pronounce); and you keep your intense and vivid imagery going for the entire thing but I think you lose the ease and eloquence along the way. It becomes choppy to read, like that word. There’s an easy fix for the 2nd stanza – just break it up:

poems are not a cattle-call
where young words freshly-shorn,
await their fate in blank hallways.
they are not odes or epics or narratives
forming into columns and marching down the white field

You don’t have to break it up like that (I think my way changes the meaning in the latter part a bit) but hopefully you can hear it reading differently – easier.

I give you A+ for originality. I, however, got lost rather quickly in the  ham bones and hoohahs. It’s probably a fine poem but I’m unable to fully appreciate your efforts. Keep writing.

“bovine ballerinas”...I dig it.  I don’t really have any criticism to offer.  I liked your use of alliteration in the last verses.  great job, maybe the second stanza could have more rhythm to it.

Not exactly my cup of tea. I was thrown off when I began to read all of the rambling stanzas. It’s too much for my taste. I think rambling is good, but only to a certain limit. It helps to express your opinion and bring out your point well across the table. Other than that, it’s not bad. I just would have enjoyed to have read more words that are expressing. Best of luck!