Poetry / The Child Denied

Beautiful. I love how you move through each stage of life and then bring all back to the beginning at the end of the piece. Wonderful imagery and expression.

Ethereal, echoes with loss. The language is strong, and reading this poem made me feel bereft. I like the line ‘Joy crawls through the door of innocence.’

I truly enjoyed this piece.  Your use of repetition is exemplary.  I hate to leave such a short response, but I am left with nothing to say other than “great.”

This is a good emotional poem. Good repetition of silence.

This poem has so much mystery, I first read it a few days ago, and now that its in my review quarry I’m glad I can review it.

I interpret this to be a story of a young girl becoming pregnant before she is ready, then having the child, and finding she cannot deal with it, ending her own life possibly? But the last line throws me off, perhaps it means the child is now alone, without a mother? Or I could be miles away and it may not be about any of that.

Either way it is a brilliant poem that has a lot of meaning and different ways to interpret, and I think thats what makes a good poem.

This is truly an amazing piece.
I admire the way this is set in a timeline kind of way. The paralellism is very nice as well; “Joy crawls through the door of innocence”, “Silence fills her days”.
An extraordinary portrait of growing older.
Nicely done.

Sometimes I have such a hard time understanding other writing styles.  Not so much understanding, but finding the true interpretation.  Forgive me if I butcher this.

I see a progression from child to woman in this piece.  To me it seems as though the subject is navigating through a certain chapter of her life with the company of only her child.  It seems as though the male subject was not around.

Regardless, it seems that the main subject finds peace through her surroundings and through the maturation of her child.  

This piece reads like a Ann of Green Gables scene.  It flows, yet avoids complete translation.  I don’t know if I like this piece as it remains a mystery in the end, or if I would like it better with an ending that is given away.  I like that you made the decision for me and kept it as it is seen in its final form.

I really liked the poem.  I read it over several times.  It was a little confusing because I wanted to make sure I interpreted it correctly.  I loved how it flowed and the way it was written.  I’m still not sure if the mother gave the child away or if the child died.  Or even if the mother herself killed the child, by the stanza…

“Silence—silence!
A voice calls from her grave:
        where is your child?”

Was she later being called by a child she herself had silenced?  I myself work to help domestic abuse victims.  And it seems that in the poem even the young girl who had the child herself was taken advantage of so young to have a child herself.  Seeking the love of another.  I would love to post this poem on a website I have with your permission and your name.  Crediting you.  You can email me if you are interesting in visiting the site to see what it is about.

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January 02, 2008

by NancyAllen

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
86	65.9% (41 votes)	8.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
67	F	Nashville, TN	November 30

Yes, send me the e-mail address. Thank you. My e-mail is NAllenMACE@AOL.com Nancy

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i have to admit, the first stanza was a bit off-putting to me. however, after reading on, i discovered wonderful imagery and a deep understanding (yours) for something so intangible. the way the poem is structured is great. i like how the piece is never too bulky-extra words can ruin a poem. “joy crawls through the door of innocence”-such a beautiful line, no wonder it happened twice-sorry if this is not helpful, i just don’t see any room for improvement

Love the format and the first four stanzas. Last two feel as if they need a little more added to them. Finally, title doesn’t seem to match the piece. Overall – very nice work!