I Don’t believe or want happily ever afters , i want just to tell them.
Poetry / Summer Child
I know exactly how she shall be, they say I don’t but I know.
She’ll be like her father, carrying youthful optimism in the face of all tragedy. She’ll be like her mother wary in remembrance of things that have burned her, and dangers of liars.
Her mouth will be made to smile around apples, her skin lusty begging for the sun’s kisses, her hair a river of fawn the wind eager to tussle, and legs for running, loving, and bringing youth into old eyes.
She’ll be the sun in Norway, the rain will have no power over her, the queen of the summer solstice. Deprive me not of her laugh, though her smile ungainly, its charming on her pixie face.
Oh give me the child, the brave, the beautiful child, and tell me not how she shall be, because I know how she will be.
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lil_red_writing_hood reviewed Version 1 -
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AWWW. I really like this whole thing and the whole idea behind it! This is absolutly yours and I don’t think changing anything would make it better.
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richardlynn51 reviewed Version 1 -
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Great insight.Like the way you analyze the mother & father. I feel a Byron love poem. good line “her mouth will be made to smile around apples” I hope you two live happily ever after..thanks
weepingclouds reviewed Version 1 -
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pretty effective in keeping the reader amused, and good expression of views. my only trouble is with the last line. sugesstions: try to use the word child once. or something like, the brave child, the beautiful child… or the brave and beautiful..
otherwise it sounds like ur saying give me the brave, and that dosent make sense.
CyndiL reviewed Version 1 -
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The descriptions in this are amazing! I think of mine when they were babies. I like the last line. ”...the brave the beautiful child…” Ignoring all predictions of how a child will look and act. Knowing instinctively the traits she will get from each parent.
I think of a warm summer day, little ones running through the park sprinkles, etc..
RitaStorry reviewed Version 1 -
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I really like the way you have harvested your creativity. You have a style that is not often found anymore, at least, I haven’t seen it. I would definately read more of your work. Brava!
C. Anne
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