Humor/Satire / WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!!

I enjoyed your writing..very entertaining..made me chuckle as I pictured in my mind what the dog might be thinking…got a good visual and gave my mind freedom to enjoy a laugh or two..thanks for sharing:):):)

Cute.  I can see the dog running around the yard, biting at the snowflakes. I’m assuming that it is your style that you choose not to capitalize what should be and Capping all when you are making a statement.  However, you should know that this tends to tak away from your story because it has the audience concentrating on something you don’t want them to be.  Just a thought.

hahaha and also ha.
ohhh that’s funny. my mum does the same kind of running commentary with our chickens. I like how you’ve let the sentences run into each other, it makes it seem more like thoughts.
its very good, makes me want to get a dog :P

this is actually very sweet.  not deep or anything, but it has a lot of energy and really captures the idea of what an anthropomorphized dog would be thinking in this situation.  i could see it as a voiceover for a film of the actual event.   without having read the intro, however, i don’t know that i would have known what it was about.  for the sake of a parallel construction, i would have put “HAVEN’T WON the war”.

oh this was very good. i absolutely loved the metaphor that you used throughout. i think this tickled me because i too have a dog who experienced snow for the first time this year and her reaction was good to watch as well. my favourite bit was about the squirrel saving his nuts, as this can in fact be interpreted in more than one way.

i thought it was brilliant.

hi, I guess for an exercise it was ok. I don’t think it was great, but it isn’t bad either. at the begining (the very begining) it was more the dog’s voice, but then it was just something you thought of and wrote, I don’t know if you see the difference..
it wasn’t really credible as a dog’s inner monologue, or that funny either, that’s why i repeat for a literary exercise it was ok.

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December 06, 2007

by the_ringer

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hmm. well, to make things clearer for me because i think it’s pretty obvious i could never see the difference between what my dog would say and what i would say (although, my dog might be smarter than me)—where did you see the change in voice so i have a frame of reference here?

didn’t expect everyone to think it was funny, but to find it credible!? not sure how anything i write would be credible considering how we’ll never know exactly what a dog is thinking. even so, what can i do to kick it up from ‘okay literary exercise’ to ‘official written work’? also, what do you think would make it funnier? i appreciate your input.

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Clever take on the first snowfall. I love how you have given your pup the freedom of speech – and a sense of humor. The pine cones being lazy soldiers is so funny. Punctuation and grammar – but other than that – cute.

This made me laugh out loud – it captures a puppy’s behavior perfectly.  It feels like you got right inside his head – nice job!  (I have a Aus Shepherd/Beagle mix – this piece captures her behavior as a puppy perfectly.)

Entertained me throughout. It’s always amusing to see how your pet will react to the weather. Sounds like yours was expecially comical. My favorite part was the list of stuff it was taking (sandbox, etc.). Pretty funny piece. Enjoy the snow, and your pup!

Very amusing. I can just see this dog running it’s ass off in your backyard, vainly attempting to protect it’s pack from the onslaught…I will be nit-picky for a bit though, and point out that you begin refering to the snow as a singular entity, then it becomes plural. I’d stick with the plural, cuz I like the “flakes as paratroopers” comparison. Nice work that puts me in mind of a hipper Dave Barry.