Poetry / Toys for Baghdad

For as short as that is, it’s very powerful.
I don’t know if it was your intention, but it seems to me that this is saying: Look what they’re playing with, look what is so normal that is does not horrify them anymore. If that was what you were going for, excellent job. If not, I’d be interested to know what your intention was.

Whoa.  Powerful.

I don’t particularly think the last 3 lines do anything for this poem. They seeem to not contribute but only water down the poem. But otherwise i love this poem! Also, this part:

the ambulance workers
and soldiers
must have been sloppy.

seem insignificant to the poem and does not seem to be something a child would be thinking so it hurts the real-ism.

very nice.

Loved it. The title you chose was perfect, and I actually like the way the language worked with the subject.

“the ambulance workers
and soldiers
must have been sloppy.”

Talking about a deadly explosion in an offhand way somehow, sickeningly, makes war seem worse.

Excellent job, and a fresh perspective. I hope to read more of your work. Thank you for the feedback.

I think this poem is thoughtful, maybe a little overdone, but I realize that that is the point.  The language seems a little dry – like it may as well be an anecdote about a hassle at the grocery store.  That may be a technique to show how common these bombings are, but even so – the tone is rather dull.  This person found a severed limb, the language could be a little more exciting.  I do like the idea behind the poem – bravo.