A poem’s licking its way all over you,
Licking your delicate bits.
The ones you wish you didn’t have,
The ones you show only certain people
At special times.
It’s got you by the legs,
Thrusting upwards, slobbering,
Wild eyes desperate to be loved.
By you, right now, no-one else will do.
If you dance away, fend it off,
It’ll come after you more.
Oh yes, you must placate it,
You must give it the attention it yearns for
And only then will it be quiet
And sit softly beside you.
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I like the way you brought the poem to life very creative.
x
Nice one. I don’t have many poems licking me in strange places, but a novel gave me a hickey last week.
This creates an extreemly unpleasant picture in my mind. I think perhaps you didn’t mean this to be quite so sexually explicit in it’s imagery—-perhaps my mind is in th egutter, but i found it disturbing.
I very much like the sexual imagery…to me I relate the sexual urgency to how words in your head just have a similar drive to get out onto paper. How you have to get them out or the lines just run over and over in your head like lustful thoughts.
I don’t much mind the use of licking twice in the two sentences as you are re-inforcing what you said in the first line in it’s second usage.
I especially love these lines:
“Oh yes, you must placate it,
You must give it the attention it yearns for”
Thank You,
~E
You took the dark chocolate right out of my mouth.T
Excellent poem! I thoroughly enjoyed this. I loved the comparison of a poem to a dor (well, that’s the impression I got). A few suggestions though… You repeat “licking” (L1 & L2). You could replace one with something else. Also, your first period might better be replaced by a semicolon since the remainder of the stanza is not a complete sentence. Same with the first sentence of the second stanza. In the 3rd stanza, you might change the comma at the end of L2 to a period. You might also put a period at the end of the 3rd line, and start a new sentence with your penultimate line: “Only then…”. This is nitpicking I know, but this is a fine poem, which deserves close attention. Keep writing – this was great!
I wasn’t quite sure what to think of this poem when I first read it. I had to read it a couple of times. I am not particularly fond of the “licking its way all over you.” It sounds a little perverse to me. But, of course, that’s just my opinion! Maybe that’s what you were going for? I do like the last image, though, of the poem sitting quietly.
Well, this seems overly sexual for poetry. Nice. I think the word licking appearing twice in such a short space could be a bit much. Maybe “tasting your delicate bits” and is the poem’s licking meant to be possessive?
That’s really nice! I love these kind of poems, where if you take away the word ‘poem’ in the first line it can be describing anything.
Not sure what this title has to do with this poem which is highly sexually suggestive in nature and cute, that I can say, but what does it mean? Passion arising within someone, the need to masturbate? Or it could be a friendly large dog slobbering all over one, wanting attention. Why I wonder does one not want their delicate bits? Interesting but illusive.
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