Poetry / No time to sit and decay

When I was a child I was told to speak from within

As I grew older I was pushed around

Told what to say

I was told not to think!

Now that I’m on my own

Been through the fire

I’ve seen more than I wish to admit

All grown up and sick of this shit!

Time for everything

Turn! Turn! Turn!

Screaming with years of frustration and pain

I will never bow down again!

Made up my mind

Going to free my soul

I will bleed on your sacred sidewalks!

My words will never grow old!

Wars in the east

Waiting for the Beast!

My homeland is on fire

The leaders sit in luxury seats!

All the mad men lead the way

Crazy money set them free

Bound, all we can do is sit and stare!

Its my time to stand up and care!

This country in over its head!

I cant even remember how many are dead

Melting bodies to the streets

Getting so hot I cant stand the heat!

Black flies began to form around my head

I began to swat them away

No more time to sit and decay

Its my world and its so unkind

It my time to speak my mind!

Try and shut me up

Come a little closer…

taste and feel the Truth!

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Reviews

May 30, 2009

BlackRoseWriter

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	100.0% (3 votes)	100.0%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
18	F	Rosedale, MD	May 31

BlackRoseWriter reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This poem is pretty good. I can particulary relate to it because I’ve had similiar problems regarding speaking my mind. I liked how angry and passionate it was, because I think that is how people should react when told that they cannot speak their mind. I also liked the line “My Homeland is on fire” because I feel the same way too sometimes. Very good poem.

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May 30, 2009

lolanation

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
583	76.6% (154 votes)	22.2%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
34	F	LA, CA	September 24

lolanation reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I would suggest commas – and de-capitlization per line where not needed. Ironically where I think it’s too much to write each line “I was…” or “I’ve” I would encourage it here – this poem is about YOU or the CHARACTER and I say “own it”

i.e I was told what to think” or use the comma to connect those thoughts – which you do well—if only with the comma.

I like this poem, you deserve to be independent and think so – and I hope you’re not above a little editing because there is something here!