Haiku/Senryu / The Circle Is Complete

I wonder at the joy the relationship presented to those who could only watch.

I’m not sure of the image…a memory, one last turn before interned? I surrender. Overall ₁₀

Good. Evokes hooded priests and woeful, funereal woebegone. Super.

I am sorry for his loss.

Chills.  This was beautiful and very vivid. Very well done.

Not bad.Its worth building on.

such a turnaround…the opening lifts and the ending sends the reader crashing down…objective achieved.. well done

this is not bad, to me its a mixture of life and death.
I like it, b\c you can make whatever you want of it but thats what I got from it anyways

Keep up the good work

Amy

10 out 10 4 me

There seems to be a contradictory theme here. on the surface you seem to be talking about a funeral he lays her to rest. However dancing to church bells suggests a joyful occasion like a wedding. Interesting. Wonder if you intended to denote the passage of time. Bookends of a relationship. The white blossoms showing tenderness peace and care.Strange how by condensing the amount of words you use you express so much.

You put me in the moment.  I like the irony of the “greiving” dancing.  Well done.  A good hybrid haiku/senryu.  I like it.

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December 04, 2007

by onlywish

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
1524	85.4% (412 votes)	76.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
38	F	United States	November 18

Thank you.

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