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Horror / Sweet Hate and Damnation
Sweet Hate and Damnation:
Simon Trust
Chapter 0:
Some people believe that life is made in some small hours of happiness and love. They believe that somehow, even though the rest of the world seems dark and horrible, these moments define everything that the human spirit is and ever will be. Time itself unravels during these moments bringing those fortunate enough to experience them into a living dream that you feel you will never wake up from. Nothing can penetrate the purity of these hours and nothing can take them away. They will never die, but will instead live on long after we have all passed. In short, these small hours are perfect.
It was the most perfect picture in the world. It was the little miracle that Scott Koorman carried with him in his pocket. The only reminder he had left of his small hours and, luckily for him, a picture said a thousand words:
The sky was a pale, cool blue and little Janie had a smile on her face that made fall feel like summer. Even the cold breezes bowed to her powers and warmed up as they blew on by her. While everyone else was in a coat and hat, she was running around the yard in shorts and a t-shirt, much to the dismay of her mother. The world seemed to stop and watch as Scott’s little girl played on a Saturday afternoon. On this day, Janie could have brought God to his knees and taught the devil how to laugh. She could have pulled the sun from the sky if she had just wanted to for fun. That day she was a muse. She was a little wonder wrapped in a child’s body and freed by a child’s mind. Nothing else mattered except that there was enough daylight left to play one last game and one more after that. She was saving his life and all she wanted back was for her daddy to watch her do a somersault. He watched, smiled, and couldn’t hear anything else but laughter.
His wife crept up on him and hugged him from behind. She laughed in his ear and kissed his cheek. She whispered something to him, but we all know that in dreams dialogue gets lost in the moment. He smiled and looked over at his Madeline. Her calm, sparkling green eyes were the first things his cold brown ones met. He just looked into them and instantly went from being a proud parent to a loving husband. She smiled at him and did that little nose crinkle thing she did when she really smiles. It drove him crazy. He kissed her and felt like he was fourteen again kissing her for the first time. He blushed, Madeline laughed, and Janie giggled and made the “ooohhh” sound kids make when someone’s in trouble or in love. Madeline turned to Janie with a crooked playful smile. She seemed to fake scold Janie who mockingly stuck her tongue out back at her. Madeline laughed and stuck her tongue out at Janie. Janie laughed and the world stopped again to listen. Scott looked back over at Madeline who was currently in a weird face war with their daughter. He laughed and she turned to him and made a funny face. He made one back then one at Janie who made one back at him.
“You know, your face will get stuck like that if you keep it up young lady.” Scott said with a mock sternness.
Janie shook her head “no” and tried to make the weirdest face she possibly could. The way she used her hands to morph her face caused her eyes to close and her to stumble around for balance. Scott laughed and looked at his wife who winked at him and snuck over to their daughter quieter than butterfly flies through sky. Upon reaching their little girl, she grabbed her and started to mercilessly tickle her. Janie let out a scream of laughter and began to kick and squirm to try and get away, but Madeline’s grip was just too strong for her to free herself.
“Save me, Dad, save me!” She pleaded between laughs
Scott laughed and grabbed the garden hose from the side of the house. He turned on the water and walked over to the loves of his life.
“Okay” he said in his best John Wayne impression. “Let the little lady go and no one gets sprayed.”
His wife’s eyes grew big as baseballs and Janie was immediately released. As soon as she was completely clear, Janie grabbed onto his leg and laughed.
“Get her, Dad!”
Scott smiled and looked at his wife who looked as though she knew of some impending doom. After a moment, Scott let forth the cold watery doom from the hose of justice. His wife let out a yelp and then tried to get up and run, but slipped on the wet grass. Janie laughed and Scott stopped the stream of vengeance from spraying his spouse who was laughing on the ground. Janie stepped out onto the yard and pointed at her mother.
“That’ll teach you to tickle a helpless child, Mom!”
Scott smiled at Madeline and started to spray little unsuspecting Janie in the back. She screamed and tried to run, but like her mother fell in the wet grass.
“And this will teach YOU not to turn your poor old Dad on your wonderful mother.”
He stopped spraying her and smiled. Suddenly, Madeline and Janie huddled up and whispered something to each other. The laughed and looked over at Scott who suddenly got the same feeling of impending doom his wife had.
“Hun, run inside and get the camera. It’s a perfect day for a picture.”
The two girls giggled as Scott dropped the hose and went into the house to fetch the camera. He came back outside, but he couldn’t find Madeline of Janie. Then, all of a sudden, Madeline tackled him from behind.
“Now Janie!” she yelled.
Janie then let Scott feel the cold waters of vengeance as his wife tickled him on the lawn.
No one knows why, but sometimes God or fate gives us the opportunity to see a glimpse of what heaven is like. If you’re smart or lucky, you won’t try to figure out when it’s happening or why, you’ll just go with it so you don’t miss any of it. It’s sad to think that these moments are designed not to make us happy, but to give us hope in our darkest moments, perhaps this is why we are also given something to remember the “perfect time” by, something like a photo. It’s something to carry with you, not only in memory where it is a dream but in reality where it has meaning. It is your gateway to remembering who you are and what it is you can become.
Scott smiles weakly to himself as he puts the picture back into his wallet. He is not the man in that picture anymore. He is not that man. He can no longer remember what his own laughter sounds like or what it feels like to smile fully. He can’t feel the world stop spinning or the cold wind turn to warm breeze against his cheeks. His life went with theirs. This man in the picture died with them yet his memories consume him. That is the problem with those small hours, those perfect moments. They never die… even when you really want them to.
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Amazing character development. You haven’t actually got a wife and daughter have you? Can’t wait to read the rest.
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It was really good but some how a knew a twist was coming. Not saying it was a good story it was and I love the twist that he was dead but his memories lived on that was really good.
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I love the way you invision moments of doom, however repeating the phrase “Impending Doom” might become a bit tideous for other readers, so I am advising you tweak it a little each time you put it in, because some readers will be put off by it.
But other than that, this is very good and reminds me a little of Stephen King’s early stuff (you know, little description but it somehow unfolds the scene within your head?), which is obviously quite promising because you’re only 19.
In this part, I don’t yet see the elements of horror, though your notes sound as if you’ve got a storyline planned…Very well done memory scene. I look forward to finding subsequent chapters in my review queue.
The chapter is well written. The ending is very effective. Your synopsis in the notes to reveiwer sounds excellent. Can’t wait to read more.
Proofreading notes:
The laughed and looked = They
Scott dropped the hose (comma after Scott)
Madeline of Janie. = or ?
why, you’ll just go (semicolon here)
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