Poetry / Le Brio

You have some great talent. I really enjoy your work. It’s so unique…wonderfully deep. It truly is crazy how brilliant your poems are and that your only 17 years old. Very nice…

first impressions: emotions of lost love, hopeful ever still.

second: i know not of your brillance. elaborate, please. i guess i’m saying i just don’t understand the ending.

This is sounds like a light write, but it is in actuality very deep. I love the wording; everything flows nicely and carrys you along. It’s a bit intellectual though, not every reader would be able to catch your drift. But I wouldn’t change a word of it. I was confused about the first line until I got to the second stanza, so maybe the transistion could be more smoother and a little faster…

very poetic i must say.  the words flow nicely.  my only problem is i am not sure what its about.  A diamond perhaps? not sure.  the last part of the poem reminds me of lava when its flowing free.  very lovely.  very well writen.  

i liked the village of loners and their bending brows. i think you could have gotten three lines out of those two and tossed the betrothed concept (they aren’t loners if they’re engaged)

Very Lovely.

The first stanza is absolutely beautiful, and it sets the tone quite well.  I especially enjoy the first two lines, as they have a very confrontational mood/tone to them—and it works.

First issue are the first two lines of the second stanza.  They sound a little trite, and maybe a little forced--but, hey, maybe i just think that.  The last two lines ending that second stanza are incredible--a nice visual in terms of physicality.

The last stanza is really incredible.  Everything does come full circle, and you’ve made it work quite well.

Very nice work here :)

The poem flows nicely and held my interest simply because I’m stumped as to what your talking about. What are you spinning in the fingers? What sunk into you one night to last you all them years?

I liked this poem, but I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about!  But it was nice to read and I enjoyed it!

I flowed well with the words and off the tongue!

thanks

I really enjoyed this poem although I cannot fully understand it’s meaning.  At first I thought you were writing about a piece of jewelry or some other such item, but as the poem goes on it seems like it is really about a memory or an experience that has stuck with you.

I usually like more forthcoming or obvious writing, but I really like this piece a lot.  

Great writing!

wow, good work, i really enjoyed this piece, i found it flowed extremely well and the imagery was perfect, you may have got a little to obssesd with the first couple lines and rapped up in the metaphor, seems as some of your rhymes were forced, but not very noticeable from one young poet to another; you have my respect, good work

Carson