Poetry / Looking for a Wise Man

some of your wording seems a bit odd, but maybe you meant it that way, 3rd stanza line 2 is odd, anyway…good stuff , good alliteration, this can be interpreted a bunch of different ways which is good, the last stanza does get a bit gory which i wasn’t expecting but maybe your attracted to doctors? i dunno, it feels like you’ve signed up for one of those match maker things on the internet but poetically, but it also could be meant in a relationship with god type thing, i like this but the cha cha cocktail thing threw me for a loop…

Beautifully said. No real structure.. prose poetry. I liked the pictures.. and can see what you mean. Good job

that was amazing
“A man whose shining armor
reflects entire realms of stars”
and the line is breathtaking..

I read this piece twice through, and I can’t exactly say im sure of its meaning. The descripion and feeling in the piece were very good though, making for some very memorable images. I especially liked the lines “I want to step into his river/never find him twice the same”, which gives out a sense of uncertainties that is played upon further when mood of the poem shifts from not wanting to be loved, to wanting love but indifferent to it, then not wanting love again. What makes the man in this piece wise, however, I’ve yet to determine. He carries children on his back, which is kind, but he also seeks out forms to find monstes, and “Rolls in rotting underbellies”. All that aside, the general flow and readability of the piece was smooth and well penned.

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January 11, 2006

by wordspace

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it’s based on Buddhist ideas of love – it’s not about finding a partner in love.  That’s only one version of love: I suppose it points to looking for spiritual love, that accepts all and lives in the possibility of accepting our life (the children) and death (rejoicing in decomposition).  NOT your typical love poem.  Try my other posting for more ‘lovey love!

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This poem I couldn’t relate to.  Not saying I didnt like it, because I did think that it was good. I just personally couldn’t relate to it.  I just couldn’t get my head around what she was talking about.  Was she in love with the wise man, was she talking about her broken heart or a loved one? I don’t have any suggestions for her, because I believe this is just her type of style.  Like I said earlier it didn’t appeal to me.  If any it would be to  be more specific, so that the reader understands.

Wow…this poem is full of wisdom..I have to give it a ten. I have visited several poetry groups and have not seen this kind of descriptive wisdom anywhere…there are so many good parts in this. My favorites are:”his is not love unrequited, a foolish crush, dance of the unavailable.
Or the never-gonna-happen-you-are-the-fool kinda love- No.
This love happens with or without you
Inside and outside, around and down
never need fill up on self-made sickly sweet juices
never need a soulmate synergy to reify existence
Just a me, you, it, they, simplified agape latte”..that part of this poem blew me away. awesome!!!!You must be a very evolved person to write this way. “I am looking for a wise man, a man who does not love me” wow that is  great.

I like this poem.  It is creative, detailed and very well written.  It expresses a dimension of love that isnt normally expressed in poems.  The author did an excellent job.  Good work!

The meaning behind the piece was unclear at first.  I had to read it twice to understand it but somehow I don’t think you meant it to be too easy to understand.  Neither can I be critical for this reason, because this piece has a unique message that I don’t think would be served by ‘dumbing it down’.  The complexity and wordplay add to the texture and depth of the poem.  It made me think.
I just have one suggestion regarding the following lines:
‘Dropping my torch, he holds up a genie’s lamp
Illuminates dark corners,
Seek out unseen forms and’
I would change Seek to Seeks to keep this section consistent.  
Other than that, I’d like to see the powerful emotion that went into the third section of the poem incorporated into the rest of it.  That section brought all of your passion for the subject to my attention, and was the part that clarified the entire work.  The other three sections, while it is obvious that you took your time and brought out rich symbolism to what seems an exacting precision, lack the passion and vibrance of that third section.  
All in all, a great piece that really made me think about love (Agape, selfless love that is all encompassing vs. Eros, which is about lust and self by it’s nature) and spirituality.  Nicely done.

This is just flat out GOOD!!! The imagery is simply brilliant, my favorite line is “What good to give your heart to being unloved? If you have to ask, it’s the not the time to know”