It reflects my mood at that moment in time… nothing more nothing less. Thanks very much for the advice as well as for taking time to read and review.
Michael
I thought it was in the poetry section, how do I move it there?
Romance / "Believer in Dreams"
Believer In Dreams
Listen to me and you will see
Listen to me
Listen to me
Believe in me, Believer in dreams
See the stars and believe in me
Hear your dreams, they are your reality.
The future is mine.., the time is yours
Fly with me…, Dream with me…,
Cry with me…, Love with me…,
But listen only to me, for you see…,
I am your destiny.
Kiss me, kiss only me I am your reality.
Kiss me and you will see…. Believer in dreams
Michael Wayne © 2005 The Gift Is You
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sagittarius1212 reviewed Version 1 -
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Great poem. I really like this, I am sorry that i don’t have any criticism for you. Its that good!
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pjwilson reviewed Version 1 -
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I believe you want to post this under the poetry section, so other readers can rate it as a Romantic poem. I do, however, enjoy the title and the theme of your piece. Though I wonder why you want to repeat so much and so often, could you have used different words or phrases instead of repeating so much? Is there a reason for it? If so, what is it? If not, why not get rid of it and add something that will add substance to your overall framework.
rikkilynn reviewed Version 1 -
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I really enjoyed the rhythm in this piece. It flowed very nicely. “The future is mine.., the time is yours” Very strong line. I look forward to reading more from you.
princesspeaches reviewed Version 1 -
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I like it. It is very romantic and very thoughtful. It flows just like poetry should. You also have a very eloquent choice of words. Thanks for sharing!
Amrita reviewed Version 1 -
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You have said “listen to me” at least four times, but have given no reason as to why we should. You claim to be the destiny with no rationale or reason. if you are trying to seduce or romance this person you need to give them a reason to want to listen to you and trust you. As it is you are giving them orders and as a woman I see no reason why I should bother listening to you. What is in your heart? What do you have that will atract them to you? What are you offering?
CorianderEater reviewed Version 1 -
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This would make a really nice song. I really like this.
VoidSucker reviewed Version 1 -
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I like the sentiment but not your repeating of phrases (‘Listen to me’, ‘believe in me’) as each occurrence weakens the rest.
It’s all a bit too vague as well and if you removed 50% of the words I think you’d find it would be far more interesting for the reader.
leighahh reviewed Version 1 -
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i loved this poem and thought that it was a great expression of love and reality. You have a lot of talent. good job
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