Humm love… I don’t know. I certainly loved the person who was the subject of this poem, but I wouldn’t say it’s a love poem exactly. It’s more about one of those moments when your with someone, and even thought you are in the same place at the same time you realize you are really both still alone. The last part is a reminder to him I guess that all it takes is for one person to reach out to disturb the moment … if that make any sense.
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Poetry / I am this night
I watch you dance
Upon treacherous rocks
In a meditative state
Body singing the story of pain
Elegant hands caressing air
As though it could feel you too . . .
In envy of your grace
Courage, freedom of movement
In envy of your haven
Though you brought me here
I am still the outsider
I always will be
Here you are one
In solitude
On these waters
Inside this breezy night
Unseen hand can reach you
Feel you, caress you
Together, but alone
I am this night
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urbanrenewal reviewed Version 1 -
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black_neon reviewed Version 1 -
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i like it, but i’m not sure if i’m getting what you’re trying to get at. maybe i just need to think harder or re-read it.
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Namid reviewed Version 1 -
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That is very pretty, I loved the thought of the wind feeling the other person and being in envy of them. There is a gentleness and tenderness to this work. I enjoyed it.
caveboypedro reviewed Version 1 -
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I liked the passion in this peice. It sounds like a love poem…is it?
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