Poetry / Monsters

Wow your review confuses me greatly. The whole poem is just symbolism for the way the world has become. The monsters need no teeth as the monsters are those within and around us. As for the characters they are all just symbols as well. So again I say I am quite confused.

I did realize that you meant the monsters symbolically and that the characters were basically examples. Perhaps I was being to vague, I still think that it needs more details to really work. You seem to be going for the general everyman, it could have been any man approach, but if you make the characters real people then they can be any man. Do you get what I am trying to say? What color was the little boys bed sheets? What did his cry sound like? The drunk, what did he look like, what did the bottle’s label read (“Arrogant Bastard” perhaps?)? Why is the lover gone? What did the baby dream? Giving the details to things like these can personality to the characters so they are not just clichés. What I meant with “give the monster some teeth” – how is the monster going to get us? How did the monster get them exactly? It’s all hinted at, tell us more.

The point is to make the reader think a little not just hand them everything. It is sometimes better to let the reader fill in the blanks in their mind. That way they can see what relates to them in any of these characters. It is a poem to envoke thought not a story to build a world and populate with characters. That is just how I see it.