Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Different.
I don’t want to go into detail about anything. I would, perhaps, go in detail about happy things going on in my life but unfortunately happy things are not occurring in my life right now. I’ll get straight to the point. I fucked my cousins ex boyfriend. They have been broken up for a year and some. She has had a new boyfriend since December. I slept with him on the 10th of August and she found out on the 28th. I couldn’t deny it since he told her the truth. She tricked him and told him I had told her that I did it with him, so he had nothing else to say but the truth. The bad downfall about all of this, is that she notified my mother by telephone. My mom proceeded to call her ex boyfriend asking if he indeed had sex with me, and he said yes. Half of my family is disappointed, ashamed, hurt and disgusted by all of this. I don’t know why my cousin had to go as far as alerting the whole family while she is down in West Virginia for college. I didn’t do it to hurt her. I only see her on holidays. We are not close. Nevertheless, I shouldn’t have done it, but if we were closer than I probably would have reconsidered my actions. In my mind, it’s just sex. I know that saying comes about a lot, but still…it was sex, nothing more. My parents lost all their trust in me and that’s what hurts the most. I have to be more cautious now and now they’re going to be more critical when it comes to letting me hang out with friends. This past day and a half has been hell and I honestly don’t know how I do it. My story tops all of the stories that I have heard about people. I don’t feel bad that I did it, I feel bad that my parents had to find out. Oh how awkward it will be on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh the stress! That’s all I have to say about that. I feel like curling up and dying. I loved how my aunt ( mother of my cousin ) and mother talked about what I did as if I were not there. Comparing their reactions to each other. I really hate how my cousin had to tell the world. I don’t really care, it’ll blow over, I know, but still the fact of the matter is I feel like shit because my parents are very tough people to earn trust from..that’s all I have to say.
Please note that I am adopted so she is not even my cousin by blood. I know that doesn’t mean anything, she’s still a part of the family, but technically she’s not anything to me.
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whats done is done all you can do is move on and learn from this experience. dont worry they will trust you again but you do have to earn it keep your head up we all make mistakes
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Wow, those are going to be some tough holidays. I hope it was cathartic getting it off your chest. Without changing much I’d break up this hunk of a paragraph so some lines are given more emphasis, use the structure to set the pacing, that’s what it’s there for.
What I want to know more about is the boy. What is special about him that you would betray your cousin, or if he’s not, what does that mean? More details, like what were your mother and aunt’s words? What were you doing before the bad news broke, even the weather maybe?
Good rant though.
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