Poetry / Chateu bla·sé
A drop, a silver glow, flowing gracelessly away.
No one knows the throes that follow from the pain.
Albeit there must be a symphony
of mercury, of mint and ground gorse (for potpourri you see)
But not one knowledge exists, of the lasting paravant.
Controvert, all of you, controvert away!
Do you know the story, the story of the hay?
The hay was dry and scalded, sitting in a barn
The owners were dead, heat stroke: the yarn
The yarn rolled down the grandma’s lap, her head lolled along
and the cat ran out, trailing it, mewling a song.
The hay burned bright, shining shimmers
Ashes fizzled and soared- the fire roared
And roared. It tore away the bindings
it tore away the seeds- but it could not tear away
the wildly lashing sea.
The sea boiled, fish awry, the sky alight with smoke-
But there was no one near, to see the book.
It (the blaze) burned ought and naught once more
back to the earth, it emanated- back to the earth once more.
Three days past, and grand-niece came- she came and went
away. Nothing was left, and she thought she must have gone astray.
The ocean had overtaken, overwhelmed and overwrought
Terra firma, firma away- the land was overwrought.
A page, a sheaf, a ream galore- the book had unearthed itself from its unlikely store! Thirty years pass, and suddenly- the gorse has preserved it- don’t you see? The sap burnt, melded with salt (water), and dried to contort the rot. The page lay open, and here it said
“Equinas? Equinas? Is the cat dead?”
The cat was dead- she had mummified near- and the gorse called softly- it cradeled her ear. The beauteous beast, Egytian stock- had not forgone- its yarny block. It had faithfully pulled its dead owner’s string-until the fire created a ring. Yowling and prowling, it had scampered away- but it went back, back into the hay. For its kittens lay there, meowling away…
And forevermore- the paper will say “Equinas? Equinas? We are here to stay.”
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This 85 word review has not been unlocked.
Frankly, I think if your poem has any sort of message or intent, it is purposefully obscure.
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I really didn’t see this peice as a poem. It may have at been at first, but then it changed into a story. It was an alright peice but just not easy to flow as a poem. I do see you have good writing skills and commend you on that. Keep up the good work.
A nice grouping of ideas,but the way they are structured doesn’t make sense.What are you trying to say with this?I’m not lambasting the poem, I just want to know, as a reader,what the idea you are presenting is.
Well, you asked for us to explain that we uinderstood the poem in our reviews. However, I don’t. Sorry, I looked up all the words I was not greatly familiar with. I read, and reread the poem four or five times. Many of the lines have some strong imagery, but I don’t get the underlying theme. Sorry.
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