Thank you so much. I know what you mean by the stumbling, and I have to rework the lines a little bit more. I appreciate you insight, again thank you .
Poetry / Sins Reflect the Soul
Sins reflect the soul
In demons eyes
Like embers glow!
Thinking that they will not show
Young face shall turn to old
Turning Heaven bound to Hell Below
Shadows swim with spirits of fire
Your selfish desire
Inside your mind you conspire
Your soul turning
Squirming
Becoming black like coal
Eaten from the inside out
Soon eternity will hear you scream and shout
Not a drop from Heaven upon your scorched tongue
Cry out for mercy now
On your knees before its too late
Now your dealing with your fate
In shadow less lands
Love prevails
Blood offerings heal all sins
Commit or be turned away
Its not your world
Your just a guest….
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jadedpoet reviewed Version 1 -
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Hello,
I don’t think I would extend it at all. I flows perfectly and shows it has been very well thought out. I can see the time in it. What a well thought out, well written piece with great emotion, depth and visuals! Nice job.
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420BC reviewed Version 1 -
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This was a nice piece. The content was clear, the rhyme and rhythm were pretty consistent. It stumbles in a couple of places, but only sticks out because the rest is so structured. All in all, good job.
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