Hi and thanks for your very kind words. I’m glad you were able to find humor in my Reader’s Digest piece whatever your age. Humor transcends age. Good luck with your writing as well. ;-)
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Reader's Digest, I'm In Here!
Ever since I was a child seated on the throne reading Reader’s Digest, I’ve had a singular goal—to be an adult sitting on the throne reading my own article in RD. At the onset, this may seem like a noble objective and attainable even, except for two minor obstacles (1) Reader’s Digest does not accept unsolicited manuscripts and (2) I’m not in the least bit famous (another apparent requisite of RD writers).
That’s not to say I haven’t had my five minutes in the sun. I was once crowned Sweetheart of Dakota Bible College. I told you I sat on a throne. Okay, so there were only 40 students and the year was 1976. Nevertheless, sitting here wearing my antique DBC Sweetheart shoulder banner, I feel somewhat notorious once again. But maybe RD doesn’t appreciate events of historic proportions.
Okay, so what exactly, could possibly make me noteworthy in 2007? Maybe it’s that I fancy writing. No, I mean I really fancy writing as in if writing were a male, I would marry it and produce oodles of little term papers. But being what writing is, I can only enjoy it in a casual dating relationship. We meet regularly, touch noses and boogie. And if I’m lucky, I end up with something worthy of print in a national magazine—say Reader’s Digest for instance.
You may be wondering—why the obsession with RD? Simply put—Reader’s Digest makes you feel good inside. There isn’t a single issue that isn’t packed with the protein of sensitivity. I can feast on each and every issue and always come away full, satisfied and even a little bit bloated—thank goodness there’s always the throne. There’s something for everyone—cover to cover and even under the covers with a flashlight. I want to be part of that. I want another five minutes in the sun and wind, rain and snow, and I want my RD article to feed the souls of hungry people (or at least their hunger for extremely high humor). Most of all, I want to autograph a copy of Reader’s Digest and give it to my 82-year-old dad so he can be proud of me while he’s still alive. The past few years I’ve been underproductive, to put it mildly. But mostly I want Dad to have something extraordinary to read while he’s on the throne.
To be a writer/contributor to Reader’s Digest means you’ve made it. You’ve cracked their cement exterior, broken into their surreptitious society of writers. You’ve attracted their attention and you’ve been inducted into the finest of fine magazines with the finest of fine writers. And when the next issue of Reader’s Digest hits the supermarkets, I want my story to be under RD’s list of feature articles. And then I’ll finally be rewarded with something that no amount of money or begging can buy—fan mail.
Whadya say Reader’s Digest. You’re into causes. Give a bipolar mentally disabled girl with an orthodontic flaw a break. If your talent scouts are out and about, I won’t be difficult to find. Just knock on the door marked “Women”. I’ll be writing for your next issue.
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sexysadie77 reviewed Version 2 -
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Good for you. You never know what you will get unless you ask for it. I really hope they take this to head. What story will you present to them if they say yes? Are you prepared? I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. I hope for only the best! You are a beautiful writer and my prayers are with you. Kudos.
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texasginru reviewed Version 2 -
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I certainly hope your goal! I wonder though if your throne description might go against you with the powers that be at RD. I found your piece slightly humorous however there was not enough about the what; as in what would you write. I think this could be an even better little gem if you gave us some insight into the topics that you fealt you should cover. Keep up the efforts!
winterssnow reviewed Version 2 -
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Hey don’t feel like the Lone Ranger….I also have submitted a few things myself and couldn’t agree with you more…it simply isn’t going to happen. However I give you a lot of credit for being creative and hopefully it may get RD’s attention…never say never…miracles happen every day:):)hope today is your day!! I found this entertaining….
freckleface reviewed Version 2 -
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:) Very cute! I giggled outloud every time you made a reference to the throne. That you introduced it into the text for your readers so early in the essay was great timing. Good luck with turning a head or two at RD (although I don’t know that they would boast about its propensity for hanging out around the throne).
No, I mean I really fancy writing as in if writing were a male, I would marry it and produce oodles of little term papers. – very funny :)
And if I’m lucky, I end up with something worthy of print in a national magazine—say Reader’s Digest for instance. – The sentence is fine as it is; I just wanted to suggest putting say, Reader’s Digest for instance into parentheses… I think it would be funnier in that context… more like an aside.
But mostly I want Dad to have something extraordinary to read while he’s on the throne. – another very funny :)
>>Whadya<< say Reader’s Digest. – Whadya -> Whaddya (I know it’s slang, but that’s how it’s typically written)
Just knock on the door marked “Women”. - The period should go inside the close quotation mark.
Thanks for the giggles.
npr33 reviewed Version 2 -
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i love this. it’s funny and completely relatable. i really like the constant linking to the throne, cause to be honest, where is rd read the most :). i also REALLY like that i would have ABSOLUTELY no idea of your age if i hadn’t seen it first. now this may seem insulting or something like that. but i mean nothing of the kind. i just mean that i am yonger and i can relate and i can laugh out loud to this. you belong in rd and wherever else you may want to be. you are one of those great writer’s that can make a story for every or anyone. i truly loved this—thanks. and, btw, my mom loves rd too and wants her stuff there as well. :)
NiqueSantiago reviewed Version 2 -
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‘No, I mean I really fancy writing as in if writing were a male, I would marry it and produce oodles of little term papers.’ That was hilarious! This should be published in Reader’s Digest, no doubt. I look forward to reading it on my throne(which is heated by the way so that will make it all the more sweeter!).
sharkseek reviewed Version 2 -
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A very humorous piece! What a lofty goal. LOL. I notice that you used “Okay, so” twice in a short space,and I think that you need to remove one if not both of those. I also think that there are too many uses of the word ‘throne’ in reference to a bathroom toilet. I do understand that it’s a theme throughout, but it might be a bit less repetitive to use some other words meaning the same thing.
All in all a very entertaining piece, well written, and aimed well at it’s intended audience.
itacaregaucho reviewed Version 2 -
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The Reader’s Digest magazine growing in all the world! I live in Brazil and my mother in law always read it! I appreciate your theme: write to Reader’s Digest, it’s original and fun!
I can not write about grammar because I’m rookie in English Language
Keep writing!
Aloha!
Zakari39 reviewed Version 2 -
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A warm hearted piece this – made me smile with it’s sincerity.
How do they get work then: RD just decide who to suck up to and publish their work?
You bring across the transcendent scope of RD: it’s place in life and society, both for you and others – it knits the piece together as you make your entreaty.
Deanne reviewed Version 2 -
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You could have done a lot better had it ever come to your attention that Reader’s Digest just reprints articles already published elsewhere. That’s generally what a digest is. To get in R. D. you have to have had your story of a man saving a lady whose car plunged into the sea or a kid with cancer’s successful surgery printed in a magazine or newspaper first. They “reprint” at R.D.
Unless you are simply referring to the $500 jokes (Humor in Uniform, etc.) You wrote ok but missed the point of your topic, R.D. being collected artcles from other publications.
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