Screenplay / Kilimanjaro 3
Chris and Robert are sitting in the waiting lounge, watching others board the plane. Robert is drinking coffee from a cardboard cup with a plastic lid. Robert seems to be in his own world, gazing out of the huge windows. Chris tries to enjoy they’re last moments before going back home.
CHRIS:
How long is the flight gonna take?
ROBERT:
About 10 and a half hours, with the connection flight. We’re flying trough London.
CHRIS: (suggesting tone)
Ten hours, huh? I think we can come up with ‘something’ to do.
Chris gives Robert a kiss on the neck, he doesn’t react in anyway.
CHRIS:
What’s wrong? You have barely said a word since we left the hotel. I thought you booked seats in the last row, so we could have some privacy during the flight. But if you’re gonna act like this, we’re not gonna need any.
ROBERT:
Oh, sorry. I’ll try to cheer up. Now we need to go.
CHRIS: Honestly, what’s—
They are approaching the counter, last of the passengers boarding. He gets cut off when Toby runs past them and slams his flight coupon on the counter
TOBY: (to the staff member checking the tickets)
Hi, I slept a bit too late,
(leaning in, sharing a secret)
had some company, if you know what I mean.
The guy behind the counter obviously understands and despises
AIRPORT STAFF: (with a disgusted and couldn’t-possibly-care-less tone)
Yes, I see.
TOBY:
I was just wondering, if you could change my seat. They gave me this isle seat at the very end of the plane and all my friends are sitting in the middle.
AIRPORT STAFF:
There is nothing I could possibly do.
(with a non-apologetic voice)
I’m sorry.
TOBY:
Come on. Can’t you do that little thing
(imitating typing with a keyboard)
and move some loner a few rows back?
AIRPORT STAFF: (typing nonsense with his computer, lazily checking the screen)
Sorry, as all the loners came in time and have already taken their seats, there is ‘nothing’ I can do.
(emphasizing ‘nothing’ making it clear the discussion has ended)
He picks up Toby’s coupon, checks something, looks at his passport, gives them back to Toby and monotonously wishes him a great flight while looking him with disgust. Toby walks past him to the tube with a slight blush rising on his face.
Robert and Chris are the last ones in line. They get a warm smile and they are sent off with a joyful “Have a nice flight”
Cu to inside of the plane
Robert and Chris are making their way towards the end. In the middle they’re trying to get past Toby, who is standing in the isle, talking to his friends. They reach the end and sit on the left side, seen from the front. Dorian is already sitting on the other side of the isle, looking out the window.
Robert lifts their hand luggage to the compartments above their heads; Chris sits down on the window seat. Robert sits next to him.
CHRIS:
I feel weird. In a way I’m excited about flying, but I just hate going back.
Robert makes a sound in agreement, while reading the safety instructions.
CHRIS:
Am I really that uninteresting. There aren’t even cute guys on it, it’s just sloppy 3D characters.
ROBERT: Hun, it’s not you. I just feel like a migraine might be on it’s way. I hate it if it hits me in air.
CHRIS: Why didn’t you say something? I have been worrying all morning. I was sure you’re gonna ditch me the moment we land.
ROBERT:
You know I would never do that.
CHRIS: Well, migraine or not, you better start proving it too.
Chris leans in, they kiss. Toby walks down the isle. He sees them, looks slightly irritated, turns way and sits. Recognizes Dorian.
TOBY:
Hi!
Dorian turns around, looking confused.
DORIAN:
Oh, hi.
TOBY:
You never said you we’re on your way to the States too. Or are you just flying to London?
DORIAN:
No, I’m coming all the way.
Neither one has anything to say, we see Chris and Robert kissing in the background.
TOBY:
Ten hours, huh.
(lowering his voice)
I hope we don’t have to watch those queers smooching the whole flight.
(adding quickly, as Dorian is about to reply)
Not that I have anything against ‘them’, parse. Everyone’s allowed to do what they want, but I just don’t want to watch them do it.
Dorian nods and turns away. Toby lies back in his chair, bends his neck and sighs. Dorian takes the safety instructions and reads the other side. When turning it around he freezes, staring at the picture describing the emergency exits. Toby looks at him for a while.
TOBY:
Is something wrong?
DORIAN:
No.
He puts away the sheet, takes the shopping catalogue instead and starts shuffling through the pages. Pauses to read random ads about plastic Christmas trees and expensive next generation dinosaur robots.
STEWARDESS: (on speaker)
Welcome to Comair flight to London. We will take off as soon as possible so we will avoid the storm. We might arrive some to London 30 minutes late of schedule, because due to the storm, we will fly along the Tanzanian border instead flying straight over Congo. We hope this wont cause inconvenience to anyone. Connection flights from London will be informed of our delay. Hope you enjoy your flight and as a thank you for your patience, Comair will present you with complimentary beverages during lunch.
TOBY:
So we wont be flying straight to the eye of the storm. Damn, would’ve been cool to see an African hurricane or what ever they call them here.
DORIAN:
I still don’t think we should be flying if there’s a hurricane on our route.
TOBY:
Come on. It’s probably just twister or a rain pour trashing their huts. Not like flying zebras and elephants.
DORIAN:
Well, it is dangerous enough to make us fly around it.
TOBY:
Geez, relax, man. I’m sure we’re safe. Like the cabdriver said, with all the regulations, they wouldn’t let us fly if it’d be dangerous. Lay back and think about the free booze coming up.
The plane jerks into motion, Dorian instantly grabs the armrests. Toby looks at him, raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. Looking past Dorian, out of the window.
TOBY:
Bye bye, sweet Africa. Hope to see you soon.
Opening credits:
The camera moves along the surface of water along the River Waal, over the Gaza Plains, the Follows the Mountain range in Mosambik up to Lake Njassa. Cutting across Tanzania, towards Kilimanjaro. Slows down when approaching Kilimanjaro across the ashen plains. On the dark ground, at the foot of the mountain lies a plane wreck.
A 30-year-old African woman, RIHANNE JONES, is walking along the corridor with a folder pressed against her chest. She is wearing a gray shirt and a matching jacket, a pink blouse and glasses. She enters a room. Inside is DOCTOR HEYNES and Toby, who is sleeping on a bed. DOCTOR HEYNES looks up as the woman enters.
MS. JONES:
Is this (opens file and checks name) Toby MacCallaghan?
DOCTOR HEYNES:
Yes, it’s him. Thank you for coming.
MS. JONES: (taking no notice on Doctor’s comment)
Will he be conscious anytime soon? I should probably go and visit the third one, as this one seems sound asleep. They’re only three of them, correct?
DOCTOR HEYNES:(taken aback by Ms. Jones’s formality and bluntness)
Yes, three survivors? The two other who were rescued from the wreck have passed away. There was nothing we could’ve done. They had both lost immense amounts of…
MS. JONES: (overlaps)
They do not concern me. They are a simple matter of death insurance payments to the family. No trauma, no suffering, nothing to settle. These injury cases are the worst. You can simply put a price to human life, but how to evaluate how much the ability to walk is worth?
DOCTOR HEYNES:
I…I think it best you visit someone else for now. We’ll inform you when his anesthetic wears off. He doesn’t know yet himself and I’d rather he didn’t hear it from…
Pauses, looking at Ms. Jones over his glasses, which lay on the top of his nose. Searching for a polite word to describe her
DOCTOR HEYNES:
...a non-staff member.
MS. JONES:
Ever better. It is not my job to make them cry, but to pay them to shut up.
She flashes him a smile, which he doesn’t return.
We HEAR shouting, a young male voice and an older woman’s voice. A loud
CRASH. Doctor Heynes sprints out of the room. Toby stirs awake.
TOBY:(with trouble speaking)
Who…
Ms. Jones starts and turns towards Toby
MS. JONES:
A doctor well be here soon.
TOBY:
Where… (swallows) Where am I?
MS. JONES:
You are in a hospital.
Toby tries to sit up
TOBY:
Could you give me something…It hurts like shit
MS. JONES:
I’m not a nurse. I’m from the American Airlines.
TOBY:
Oh. What happened. I just remember the free drinks.
Toby smiles weakly. Ms. Jones looks pleased.
MS. JONES:
Well, your plane tried to land because it had been sucked into the storm. I must emphasize that the plane itself was in perfect condition, but even as it was, the landing was hard due to harsh wind. In short, you were in a plane crash.
TOBY:
Are the others okay?
Ms. Jones glances at the door.
MS. JONES:
Actually you are one of the few lucky survivors.
TOBY: (to himself)
Shit.
(to Ms. Jones)
You mean most of them are dead?
MS. JONES:
Yes. But I’m not here to discuss the others, I was sent here to discuss you’re condition and the your terms of settling this without court. Trust me; none of us wants to go there.
TOBY:
My condition? I don’t…
MS. JONES:
Mr. MacCallaghan, you have lost both your legs in the crash.
Toby looks at his legs and sees how the sheet is pressed low after his knees.
He grimaces and starts to shake.
MS. JONES:
Mr. MacCallaghan, I am here to make you a proposition.
TOBY:
My..they took my legs. Oh, fuck…
MS. JONES:
We have cleared that already. There was nothing the hospital could’ve done. They had been injured severely in the crash already. Now, if you could listen our…
TOBY: (overlaps)
MY FUCKING LEGS HAVE BEEN CUT OFF!
MS. JONES:
I‘m sorry. But that is exactly why I came. We want to help you adjust back to normal life…
TOBY:
What the fuck?
MS. JONES: (anxious)
I’ll get someone, just wait.
TOBY:
my…my legs..
Toby starts crying. Ms. Jones rushes out of the room.
Cut to corridor
We hear Doctor Heynes’s voice, calming someone down. Ms. Jones rushes past two rooms and enters the third, the same room where the Doctor’s voice is coming from.
Cut to Chris’s hospital room
Chris is struggling against the doctor holding him down, while a nurse is trying to give him an injection.
MS. JONES:
Doctor, he woke up.
DOCTOR HEYNES: (to Chris)
Please, calm down. This will make it all okay.
The nurse turns around, as CHRIS stops struggling and closes his eyes.
DOCTOR HEYNES: (to nurse)
Keep someone in this room. He might try to do something to himself when he wakes up.
MS. JONES:
The boy woke up!
DOCTOR HEYNES:
I heard! Did you say something to him?
MS. JONES:
I saw no reason to keep the truth from him.
DOCTOR HEYNES:
For heavens sake, woman. Didn’t I tell you to keep your trap shut!
Doctor Heynes storms out of the room. The nurse, 65, walks to Ms. Jones and points at the door.
NURSE:
Leave, please, we must let him rest.
Ms. Jones walks out. The nurse closes the door behind her, closes the curtains and looks at sleeping Chris.
NURSE: (to herself)
So young.
End of scenes 4 and 5.
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This 65 word review has not been unlocked.
This is really good, I am going to have to go back and read all of the other parts to this tale because it is suspenseful, I am typing really fast so I can hurry up and read the rest, I think this is fabulous work and you are very talented, there were 2 or 3 grammar errors in there but overall great everything else, great great work.
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This 55 word review has not been unlocked.
First things first, I would like to point out the unrealistic Airport Staff member. No matter what you say to them, and I mean quite literally, you can not make them give you a disgusted or otherwise unfriendly look. I’ve been flying every summer for the last six years and they simply can’t look at you with pure disgust or malice. They have to me kind and curtious, even if they wish not to be. What would be more believable is if the Airport staff memberkept a fake smile on their faces, becoming more strained after every second.
Next, with your unrealistic plot, is that the plane took off when there was a storm, especially when it is an international flight. They would not EVER do that, but this is your movie script, and I can not possibly make you change it. Your character points out the dangers, and I have to say that theyt really wouldn’t allow any danger to happen to them.
Now, onto your character Mrs Jones. You say that she is an African woman in the beginning, then say that she is working for American Airlines. Is this simply a typo?
Next, you say that three people survived, yet you did only tell us two of those people, Toby and Chris. You did not even inform the reader of what was wrong with Chris, you simply had the doctor and nurse drug him. I think that it would be more emotional if you perhaps here Chris screaming for Robert (Who, as far as the reader knows at the moment has died).
Ms Jones is also rather cruel to Toby; I don’t find it very believable that she would go into a room and tell a man that just lost his legs that you were there only to make sure they did not sue. It is cold and calous, ans I really don’t think that any hospital would allow such things to happen.
Overall, I would say that this was a good piece, but it seems as though some parts are too fake to be actually belivable. If it was more realistic, with actual protocal and whatnot I think that this would be a very interesting piece, but facts must be right.
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