Poetry / WAKE UP

the parts i loved are:

“To whom shall we run to and hide, our mothers?”

“Time to wake up and foresee into the future that is us”

“Find the potential within us and fulfill it with class”

(especially this one),.,.

“For nobody is to blame but us”

this poem is really good,.,.

people who are still cowardly and are too lazy to act to fulfill what they want in life should read this,.,. i’m sure it will open their eyes to start doing something now because we are the ones who hold the key to our own future!!! :)
a splendid read,.,. very ispiring,.,. :)

I kind of get the impression, based on your list of goals, that you want to be published….:) Personally, I’m not sure I agree with a couple lines, namely “Food for the god’s we provide but still slavery, they persist”, suggesting that those who hold to the creeds of a specific belief are enslaved, and the constant reference to “brothers”, suggesting that only men fight in wars. Style-wise, I like Wake Up. I think it has a kind of hip-hop feel to it; very constant in rhythm, good use of the rhyme scheme. I also like the way you ended it: “No more shall we cry out, time to wake up and fast, For nobody is to blame but us.” Best of luck to you in your writing and in being published.

“when living houses made of glass” – apparent typo, in leaving out the word ‘in’ between ‘living’ and ‘houses’