Poetry / Back to the Basics

Lollipops and candy flowers,
blue skies and world powers,
warheads and death.

Crystal clear waters
and playful sea otters,
virgin sands and contraband,
drugs and despair.

A cool morning breeze…
Are we really just a disease?
(Think happy thoughts.)

Disney Land and smiles,
commerce between small isles,
industry and wealth,
at the cost of natives health,
human rights get put on a shelf and
mass media dictates self-
try to think of something else…
I give up.

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Reviews

December 20, 2005

Wekwom_Teks

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
29	100.0% (10 votes)	38.5%

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23			November 23

Wekwom_Teks reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

spot on. i enjoyed this piece, especially the first stanza, where, at first impression you start with very “bright” beginnings and not half a line later it turns, or rather plummets downward in it’s vision. you point out the corruption very poignantly.
in the last stanza you have a recurring rhyme that begins to sound like a broken record, “wealth, health, shelf, self, else…”
BUT it works and is not oppressively redundant because of the point that you are making at that place in the piece. it parallels the thought of you mind skipping, as a broken record, trying, in vain, to think “happy thoughts” and how, just like a broken record, it eventually stops playing altogether.
good job.
ciao.