Poetry / Edge Of

Near dusk, the separate sea and sky
die. Blue-green-grey and violet-black
stand back-to-back and her blood
swirls in his hair, merged
in heavy, deep, same sleep.

So drab, this two-in-one. So flat.

No moon, no sun ring chords
from separate spheres. No tension
in the place between, no force
seen. We won’t hear steam
hiss from the space
where depths touch heights.

So bland, this cuddled mass.
So similar. So tight.

But lightning shows the edge again.
The off-shore storm that rips
and kills the blend. White heat
points, “There!” We see
wind pull clouds to death,
waves toss spray.

The blood-stamp, eye-print
memory of edge
will keep us
until day.

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Reviews

August 14, 2007

darkpoet

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
36	60.0% (10 votes)	43.3%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
36	M	Flagstaff, AZ	May 02

darkpoet reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I loved the piece from the imagery to the general flow. The way you laced all of the imagery together was amazing. Good job, keep up the good work!

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August 16, 2007

Cheelara

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
2	100.0% (4 votes)	25.9%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
42	F	Yuba City, CA	August 16

Cheelara reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I had to read this twice to really understand it. But after the second reading I really liked it. I have never thought about that small period between night and day. What happens when they meet? is it like two lovers who only have a second to be at peace with the other? Is it like the calm of the ocean after a great storm if only for that few minutes. Thank you so much you have made me think. Very well done.

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August 16, 2007

reerds

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
115	84.6% (65 votes)	21.8%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
55	M	Ramona, CA	September 30

reerds reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

High marks! I liked this piece quite a bit. It really comes alive in the fifth stanza where it says”But lightning shows the edge again. The off-shore storm that rips” I wonder if the fact that we are looking out to sea should have been introduced earlier because it’s not until here that it becomes apparent. Should we have expected to ” hear steam hiss from the space where depths touch heights.” becuase it was the sun sinking into the ocean, yet we have no idea that we are looking over the ocean until that fifth stanza. I think it’s ok as is, just wondering . . .