Poetry / Out My Window

Out my window I see:
Snow falling on the ground;
Men and women slowly parting;
Leaves turning from green to read
and then turning to dust.

Out my window I see:
Homes being built and
babies being born;
Families coming together
and being torn apart;
A kiss, a hug, a shreik,
a cry, a squeel, a laugh.

Out my window I see:
EVERYTHING.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.

Reviews

December 16, 2005

Inocus_Benevere

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
69	54.5% (11 votes)	19.4%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
21	M	Bonita, CA	June 29

Inocus_Benevere reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Hmmm.. First off, “Out my Window” seems a bit awkward when I read it to myself.. Maybe did you mean “Outside of my Window”? And, there are a couple mispellings you might want to fix.

add/view comments (3)

December 16, 2005

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
1	100.0% (1 votes)	0.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
31	M	Austin, TX	April 04

This really wasn’t that helpful. The review starts off promising with “First off: which leads me to believe there is more. But after telling me that the title may not be appropriate there isn’t any additional insight into the poem. Yes, there is mention of a few typos although no example. Overall, I can’t say I was very satisfied with this review.

February 02, 2006

by Inocus_Benevere

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
69	54.5% (11 votes)	19.4%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
21	M	Bonita, CA	June 29

personal info reviewer stats

Ok, I understand you may have trouble with spelling, so for example: The word “Read” as you use it does not mean the color “Red” that I’m sure you meant to say. So this irregularity of improper verb usage really takes a lot away from the atmosphere and imagery you are trying to create for the reader.

May 05, 2006