Stage Play / Sir Edwin and the Quest for Avalon Act I

Act I
Scene One

Play opens with Edwin onstage. He is a young nobleman dressed very in the very best medieval attire. Edwin is being anxious, pacing, going though things, etc. There are several bags piled in the middle of the floor.

Edwin: Sister, sister! Where art thee sister?

Bridgette: (Offstage) Yes Edwin?

Edwin: Why aren’t you ready yet?

Bridgette: I told you I am not going. You may go, seek your fame and glory. I am staying here and watching the manor.

Edwin: But sister-

Bridgette: I am not going.

Edwin: Sister, may you at least come here so I may at least talk to your face instead of yelling into space like an idiot?

Bridgette: (sarcastically) As you wish my liege. (Enters right) You know I do have a name.

Edwin: Yes you do my dear sister, but it is a bloody French name. (To self) I hate those French. Can’t even make toast right.

Bridgette: Edwin! Our mother was French. It makes perfect sense for me to have a French name.

Edwin: But sister, we are English, true and proud. Your name should be something English like Anne or Morgana.

Bridgette: Yes, I definitely think that Morgana would suit me much better then Bridgette does. (Rolls eyes)

Edwin: Now about you not wanting to go-

Bridgette: I’m not going. That is that. I have made up my mind.

Edwin: You’re a woman- since when do you get to make the decisions? Besides, when father died I told him that I would see you married well. What better place to do that then Camelot?

Bridgette: I don’t wish to be married well.

Edwin: Then you wish to be married to a poor man?

Bridgette: Of course not! Why would I ever want to do such a stupid thing as that?

Edwin: Then what are you going to do with your life- become a nun?

Bridgette: No, I just don’t want to be married right now, especially to a man I don’t know that is twenty years older than me.

Edwin: But it is every woman’s dream to be married to a knight of Arthur’s court!

Bridgette: And you would have personal experience with that, I assume.

Edwin: Yes I would. (Bridgette shakes head) Every knight of Camelot that I have talked to says so.

Bridgette: And how would they know?

Edwin: Women are not very hard to figure out dear sister, for you are very simple creatures; very simple indeed.

Bridgette: I want not to get married, that should be very simple to figure out.

Edwin: Why?

Bridgette: Because I don’t want to be stuck in an arranged marriage of state like mother and father were. I want to love my husband, not to be his humble servant. There should be excitement in my life. If I get married then all I will do is bear children and embroider all day.

Edwin: That’s why you should get married to a knight. There are exciting things that happen in Camelot all of the time.

Bridgette: Such as…?

Edwin: Why just last week when I was talking to Lady Lucas-

Bridgette: When were you talking to Lady Lucas last week? I thought she was supposed to be in Bath with her new husband.

Edwin: No, Genevieve stayed home. Sir William decided at the last minute to go hunting instead of going to Bath.  Anyway, as I was saying before I was quite rudely interrupted, Genevieve told me last week that Duchess York was told by Sir Bors, who was told by Queen Iseult herself that in Camelot there is this very old tower. The rumor was that there was a woman up there, a woman who had been cursed so that she could not look down. But she devised a set of mirrors so that she could see Camelot and she immediately fell in love with Sir Lancelot. Apparently she went out of her tower, and then she died. But not before she could put herself in a boat full of flowers, and start floating down the river. Sir Lancelot is said to have thought that she was quite beautiful.  

Bridgette: That’s another of Lady Lucas’ preposterous rumors. Queen Iseult lives in Cornwall; probably has never even been to Camelot. How would she have known that?

Edwin: Sir Tristan of course!

Bridgette: Sir Tristan?

Edwin: Haven’t you heard the rumors?

Bridgette: Oh, so there are rumors about poor Queen Iseult now too?

Edwin: I can’t believe you haven’t heard!

Bridgette: Well, could you please elaborate then?

Edwin: No, I could not tell you. It is not right for maidenly ears.

Bridgette: Typical, typical; I figured that much. You have a good trip to Camelot, brother. I will stay here, and tell Lady Lucas where you are if she comes a-calling. (Turns to leave)

Edwin: (Stops her) Nope, little sister. You are not getting away that easy. I told father you will get married so I will see you married.

Bridgette: I promise you I will be ready some day, just not now.

Edwin: If you wait any longer you will be an old maid.

Bridgette: Today I will become a nun and live in a cloister cell for the rest of my life before going off to carry come crude and ignorant country lord’s children.

Edwin: How about I make you a deal.

Bridgette: A deal?

Edwin: A deal. You may pick any man you wish and you may turn down any man I wish. But you must find someone who will agree to marry you in one month.

Bridgette: And if I don’t?

Edwin: Then I guess you have the choice of being a nun or doing embroidery for the rest of your life.

Bridgette: That’s not fair!

Edwin: It isn’t a free country. I am your lord, you do what I say.

Bridgette: Still, it’s not fair.

Edwin: The deal is better then nothing.

Bridgette: You said I may marry any man?

Edwin: You may marry any man that will have you.

Bridgette: Is that the best deal I will get?

Edwin: Yes it is.

Bridgette: Then I guess I do not have any choice but accept.

Edwin: Then to Camelot! (Exits left)

Bridgette: To Camelot (sighs, picks up a bag, looks at it, puts it back down,) No good can come of this. (Exits left).

Scene Two
At the common room of an inn later that night, same setting. Bridgette is sitting in one of the chairs. She is very tired. Lights are dim.

Bridgette: (to self) I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it; of all the idiotic things to do. (Imitating Edwin) Oh we don’t need a carriage, God’s blessed us with legs we might as well use them. We don’t need a guard; I personally can guarantee you that Sherwood Forest is the safest place in the world for any noble to pass though. (Stands up) And then what happens? We get robbed. They took the horse, my dresses, everything! (Fingers necklace) well, at least they had the decency to leave me with a necklace to sell so we can get to Camelot. Bloody robbers. Bloody Edwin. I should have stayed home and watched the manor.

Edwin enters with Robin Hood

Edwin: See sister, I told you that I would find someone to guard us the rest of the way.

Bridgette: Edwin you idiot! That is the same man who robbed us in the first place.

Robin: If I may be so bold, I apologize very deeply to milady. The people of the village are very poor, and the taxes make it worse for them. You and your brother are rich. Me of Nottingham and my men only steal from the rich and give to the poor, and then we only take what can be spared without any difficulty. When Lord Edwin found me and told me what had happened to you at my hands I realized that what we had taken had in fact caused you great difficulty. So, I feel it is my truest responsibility to give you back your clothes and your horse, and to escort you to Camelot.  (bows)

Bridgette: He’s lying though his teeth you know that?

Robin: and you, milady are snarling though yours

Edwin: I trust him.

Bridgette: I guess you are my lord and in charge of my safety. (To Robin) What did you say your name was again?

Robin: I didn’t. My name is Robert of Locksley, go by Robin though, some of those with vast abundance of wealth have even called me Robin Hood from time to time. (Takes Bridgette’s hand and kisses it)

Bridgette: Lady Bridgette de Merieanne, enchanted. So my wayward escort, how long shall it take us to get to Camelot?

Robin: Haven’t the faintest idea; never been out of Sherwood Forest, Nottingham, or Locksley before, except on the crusades (cringes) I shan’t talk of that shall I? But, never been to Camelot, Lord Edwin told me that he knows that way.

Bridgette: That would be a surprise to me.

Edwin: Hey! I know how to get to Camelot.

Bridgette: I thought that you knew how to get a guard too, but you seemed to have failed miserably at that one.

Robin: Here I was thinkin’ that all you nobles were nice and put on airs, even if it were for us poorer folk.

Bridgette: I would presume that it is now safe to assume otherwise, Mister Hood.

Robin: Why you little-

Edwin: Sister dear, may you please go get us some drinks?

Bridgette: (stands up) Anything to get away from this man who claims to have a noble cause but in all reality is nothing more than a common thief who is escorting us so he will not get his hand chopped off(mimes getting hand chopped off). (To Robin) You have probably never been on crusades either.

Robin: You have no manners at all do you? I thought that that was required for nobility. No man will ever want to marry you of ‘is own free will, that’s for sure, especially not any knight of Camelot. So really it is completely superfluous for either of you to go anywhere. You will either end up in a nunnery or being a fat aunt, still living with your brother I swear by St. Peter.

Bridgette: I have only known you for a moment, good sir, but already I can see that you a fiend and a rouge. You are grimy and will likely take every penny we have and cut our throats when we are asleep!

Edwin: Sister, please the drinks?

Bridgette: Get them yourself; I am going to retire now, where it will be safe for tonight at least.

Robin: My ye sleep well, milady, and hopefully be in a better temper on the morrow.

Bridgette: hmph (raises nose in air, storms out left)

Robin: Is it just me or is that lass a wee piece of work?

Edwin: She’s not normally like that. She has just had a stressful day, first she didn’t want to go and then she got robbed. But yes she is quite a piece of work.  Just this morning she was telling me that she did not want to get married, said she would rather have excitement in her life. Quite strange I think.

Robin: I’ve never known a woman to say that, but it is perfectly understandable. What man likes to be shut up in a castle all day?

Edwin: But that’s what women do, that is what they are raised to do their whole lives. Men go out and fight, women raise children.

Robin: (puts his feet on a footstool) Lad, I’ve seen a lot in my short time on this earth. I’ve seen glutinous sheriffs stealing from starving children. I’ve seen men who wish to get high in the eyes of God by killing their fellow man merely because the way the worship Him is different.  I’ve seen enough cruelty and corruption in this world to even wonder if He exists. But, I have also known many a person. Between you and me (both lean closer together, Robin whispers) Eve may have eaten the apple first, but given the chance so would Adam. Men and women are both human, what we all feel and want is not truly different. So a woman wanting excitement doesn’t really come as a surprise to me.

Edwin: What nobleman would want someone like her?

Robin: You would be surprised Edwin, you would be surprised; some of those knights are severely off their rocker, completely and utterly insane. One of them will have her.  (Kate enters right with drinks)

Kate: Would you two kind gentlemen wish for a drink?

Edwin: Yes we sure would. (Pulls coins out of pocket, places in hand, counts very carefully then hands to Kate) This ought to be enough for both of us.

Robin: (flips coin to Kate) Take this too, have yourself a drink, Miss Kate.

Kate: Why thank you Robin, you are a good man to give to a poor girl like me.

Robin: And you are the sweetest maid in the whole of Sherwood.

Kate: You are also a horrible tease. Who is this man that kindly bought you your drink?

Edwin: (stands up) Lord Edwin de Merieanne, at your service, my fair maiden. (Takes Kate’s hand and kisses it)

Kate: Greetings to you as well milord. Where be you headed, and why with this awful thief?

Edwin: I am headed to Camelot to find my sister a husband, and maybe to find someone for myself as well. Robert here offered to be my guard though the rest of the journey after we were brutally and most preposterously robbed.

Kate: Robin would be the one that robbed you, I presume.

Robin: Most unfortunately, (stands up, stretches arms, yawns) now if you two don’t mind my drink is gone and I fell quite like sleeping, hopefully we will get up early and cover a lot of ground.

Edwin: Good night

Kate: I hope the bed bugs bite!

Robin: Why would a nice person like you say such a thing?

Kate: Because anyone that robs a nobleman and his sister on their way to Camelot deserves it.

Robin: It is all of a noble ideology (exits left)

Kate: (yelling to Robin) and that noble ideology is ye purse!

Edwin: Tell me, Kate is it? (Kate nods) Is Robin someone to be trusted?

Kate: Robin’s word is worth his weight in gold, the trouble is the often his word is not on the king’s side of the law.

Edwin: So you think it is safe for me and my sister to travel with him, and we will not be attacked?

Kate: That man knows every bloody thief, plotter, and rogue in Sherwood. Many more have heard of him and know his name. You and your sister will be more than fine.

Edwin: Thank you, now I will have some sort of peace of mind on the road. Good night to you.

Kate: May slumber find you well, milord. (Kate exits right) Lights fade out

Scene Three
At a different inn the next day

Robin, Edwin and Bridgette come running in right. Robin and Edwin have swords. All are breathing heavily.

Robin: Edwin, are you completely out of your mind?

Edwin: What did I do?

Bridgette: Think about it. You announced yourself as a lord in front of everyone. Shouldn’t the state of the inn and the fact that it was so cheap possibly say to thee that there might be outlaws afoot?

Edwin: I didn’t announce it in front of everyone!

Bridgette: Usually when the room gets really quite you stop talking, not keep blabbering on so everyone can hear you have money.

Edwin: It’s not my fault!

Robin and Bridgette: Of course it’s not. (Look at each other in amazement)

Robin: and you, mistress, did not make it any better by wearing that fancy dress and gems.

Bridgette: It just so happens that every other article of clothing I brought with me was stolen and distributed among the poor of the village, including my normal clothes and something to keep my necklace safe.

Edwin: Will you two shut up already? I have been listening to this all morning, all afternoon and all evening. One would think that two such as you would eventually give each other the silent treatment.

Running is heard

Robin: Here they come again. Milady, go hide if ye know what’s good for ye. Are you ready to defend yourself, family, and honor, Lord Edwin? (Bridgette hides behind a chair.)

Edwin: (Fumbling with sword, unsteady, shaking) As ready as I’ll ever be.

Robin: (shrugs) If you say so. (Thieves rush in right. Both have swords in their hands)

Thief 1: Come here and give us ye jewels milord, it will be much easier than us havin’ to take them from ye

Thief 2: Yeah, much easier (snickers)

Edwin: Never (determined)

Thief 1: I be havin’ to take ‘em from ye. Ye leave me no choice. (steps forward towards Edwin menacingly)

Thief 2: Yeah, no choice (does the same towards Robin)

Robin: Ye sure made my job a bloody lot harder.

They attack. Robin is really good with his sword. Edwin just plain sucks.

Edwin: Robin, can I get some help here? (Robin ignores him) Please? (Man is about to overtake Edwin. Bridgette get up from her hiding spot, pulls a small knife out of her dress.)

Bridgette: Get out of the way! (She waves her knife around at the man. All stop and look at her) Well? (Edwin gives her his sword and flees left)

Thief 2: I ain’t gonna fight no wee lass like ye

Thief 1: Just do it! (Fighting starts again. Bridgette is very good with sword.)

Robin: (still fighting, leans over to Bridgette, also fighting) Where did you learn to fight like that?

Bridgette: Lets just say that (duck) Edwin enjoyed skipping (block) his sword lessons and (duck) he never understood why his swordmaster (swing) never got mad at him for (back up) never showing (step forward, stab, man she’s fighting falls on face)

Robin: ah (the man he has been fighting falls. Puts sword to throat. All thieves, who are now on floor, crawl out right. Sits down. Bridgette also sits) Would this be the reason why you don’t want to get married?

Bridgette: What do you mean?

Robin: I was told by a little birdie that you did not want to get married because you wanted some excitement in your life. What I think is that you want to get married, but you do not want to give up your sword when your husband gets to play with his. You do not want to sit at home with the kiddies while he goes out on quests and adventures.

Bridgette: And how did you come to this conclusion?

Robin: Because I know, I am the same way.

Bridgette: Meaning you do not want to get married because Mrs. Hood would want you to give up thievery and take up a decent trade.

Robin: No, because I know that in more than normal doses excitement is like mead, you start and it makes you happy. You consume more and you are happy once again, but once you stop, you will never feel the same again and you will have to take another drink.

Bridgette: So my want of excitement is the same as your alcoholism.

Robin: No, no. I was just using that as an example. Hate the stuff myself.

Bridgette: That means, Sir Robert, that we might actually have something in common.

Robin: I’m called Robin, Milady.

Bridgette: Then I am called Bridgette.

Robin: (gently) You are still a spoiled brat.

Bridgette: You are still a grimy rogue. (They lean in closer to each other. Edwin runs in left. They pull back.)

Edwin: (frazzled) Are they gone, are they gone?

Bridgette: (sarcastically) No, a sorcerer turned them invisible and then they tied us to these chairs. They are still here, but you can’t see them.

Edwin: (picks up sword and waves it around in air) AHHH! (Runs out left)

Bridgette: Sometimes I wonder if we are related at all.

Robin: (shrugs) you can always claim that you are stepsiblings.

Bridgette: Things would have been much different if I was the boy and he was the girl, even better perhaps.

Robin: One wonders about why things they are the way they are. There must be some reason.

Bridgette: That would make to much sense to actually be true.

Robin: I guess it would. Wouldn’t it?  

Edwin: (wait a moment or two. enters running left, flinging sword.) Invisible thieves, you will be sorry after you mess with me! (Exits right, lights fade)

Scene Four
Court at Camelot. Same scenery minus chairs. Friar Tuck and Robin are in monks’ habits, talk quietly amongst themselves in the corner.

Herald:  (enters right. announcing to room, very stiffly) Count Edwin and Lady Bridgette de Merieanne of Glastonbury (Bridgette and Edwin enter)

Edwin: So this is the court of Camelot?

Herald: It is milord, right now it is empty, but soon the king will come.

Bridgette: Then who are those people over there?

Herald: Likely just some Franciscans or such. They are here all the time, asking for things.

Edwin: What sort of things?

Herald: Not much- land, money, the Holy Grail.

Edwin: The Holy Grail is not much?

Herald: It is when you don’t have it. (Bows) Good day milord (Exits right)

Edwin: I can’t believe it, we’re finally here. This is Camelot.

Bridgette: For some reason I expected it to be, I don’t know, bigger, better, shinier.

Edwin: But still, this is Camelot. This is the court where noblemen come before Arthur to be knighted; this is the center of the kingdom, the place where legends are made.

Bridgette: Pity Robin couldn’t come with us though.

Edwin: He’s a wanted man; even if he would have been let in with us someone might have recognized him. It’s all for the better that he stayed at the inn.

Bridgette: I guess it is all for the better (sighs. Robin and Friar Tuck cross to Edwin and Bridgette, Robin is slightly behind Tuck and hides his face in his robe)

Tuck: Greetings milady, milord, and welcome to Camelot (bows, kisses Bridgette’s hand)

Edwin: And greetings to you Brother, from Glastonbury.

Tuck: I am Friar Tuck, of the Franciscans of Kay; this is Brother Robert Dudley of the Locksley Abbey-

Herald: (enters right) Merlin (Merlin enters right, Herald exits right)

Merlin: (walks to group) Greetings to you Tuck, old boy.

Tuck: And greetings to you Merlin, you dog.

Merlin: You four, I have never met you before-

Edwin: Hello, I am-

Merlin: No, no don’t say it! Let me guess, I need some practice. (To Edwin) Hmmm… your name is Edwin de Merieanne, age 21, became Count of Glastonbury after your father died, cowardly, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, come here to find yourself glory, possibly a wife- has a sharp and seemingly pointless dislike for the French.

Edwin: You were right about my name and age, sir, but-

Merlin: I am right about all; I know all, I see all. Just because I need practice seeing doesn’t mean that I have lost my touch. (To Bridgette) Very interesting you are, very interesting indeed- Bridgette de Merieanne, age 17, independent, adventurous, miss your mother very much, fiery temper -

Bridgette: I do not have a temper!

Merlin: (to Robin) ha ha ha. You Brother, are what you appear to be and yet not at the same time. You have had a past, Brother Robert Dudley of Locksley, age 23. Illegitimate son of Robert Dudley, Earl of Locksley and Leicester, have been told that your mother died in childbirth, went on crusades when you were 14, seen horrors, terrible horrors. Then you went became a monk for self-penance, but felt after awhile that life was not suited for you. You supposedly went to go start an abbey in the poor village of Nottingham, but really became an outlaw living in the nearby forest, robbing the rich and giving to the poor. You are sly and overly sarcastic, but all in all you have a soft heart.

Robin: (pulls off hood, seriously) How did you know that Lord Merlin?

Merlin: I know all, son, I see all. And it’s Merlin, just Merlin. No matter much his majesty liked me and no matter how much I helped him, the old fool never granted me a lordship.

Bridgette: Robin? You are a monk?

Robin: Technically, I took vows when I came back from the Holy Land, but I am not a man of faith at heart.

Tuck: Brother Robert! That is blasphemy.

Robin: Well, it’s true.  

Edwin: Merlin, I have a question for you.

Merlin: I know the question; I know the answer but ask because it will make you feel surer of yourself.  

Edwin: On the way to Camelot I battled with a band of invisible bandits and the sorcerer that made them invisible. Do you think I will be knighted for this?

Bridgette: For the last time I was joking when I said that, there were no invisible bandits!

Merlin: The king would hear your story and consider it very brave, you are to be knighted.

Edwin: (to Bridgette) See, I told you they were real!

Merlin: I said the king would knight you, not that you deserve to be knighted.

Bridgette: Ha!

Tuck: Merlin, why do you engage in such sorcery as this? God does not approve of such things; you are damning your immortal soul to the inferno, merely by telling fortunes and guessing peoples’ identities.

Merlin: My soul is damned for many other things, Brother. I care not any longer.  

Robin: I am with you, why would God make something tempting if it was bad for us?

Tuck: Brother, that is blasphemy!

Merlin: I do not know the mind of your god; mine finds this very good for my soul.

Robin: Maybe I should be converting then.

Bridgette: Mayhap we should change the subject to something Milord Inquisitor could overhear and not be bound to burn us at the stake.

Tuck: I quite agree with you. I myself am actually rather curious as to the changes that have happened at Camelot since-  

Herald: (enters right) Dowager Queen Guinevere and Sir Lancelot (Lancelot and Guinevere enter right, and talk between themselves. Herald exits right.)

Edwin: (excited) is that-?

Tuck: Yes, that is Sir Lancelot

Bridgette: Never mind that, did they just say Dowager Queen?

Edwin: Never mind titles; Sir Lancelot, the Lancelot, is in the same room as us.

Merlin: (ignoring Edwin) Have you not heard?

Robin: Heard?        

Merlin: About the battle?

Tuck: It was a sad, sad state of events.

Bridgette: No, I haven’t heard anything. Does that mean that-?

Robin: that Arthur is- ?

Bridgette and Robin: Dead?

Lancelot: Unfortunately so, my dear friend Arthur is dead, and I am sorry to say that if I had been more loyal to him then he may still be with us.

Edwin: You’re… you’re…

Guinevere: Lance, be reasonable. You had nothing to do with it; things happened. If it was anybody’s fault the blame goes to Mordred.  

Edwin: You’re… you’re…

Lancelot: (to Guinevere) Yes, honey.

Edwin: You’re… you’re…

Guinevere: Who is he? Who are all of you?

Edwin: You’re Sir Lancelot!

Lancelot: Yes, thank you for telling me, I had in fact recently forgotten my name.

Bridgette: (curtsy) I apologize for my brother’s behavior. I am Bridgette de Merieanne; this is my brother Count Edwin, and our traveling acquaintance Brother Robert.

Robin: Hello, my queen (kisses hand, bows)

Guinevere: And hello to you Brother Robert.

Bridgette: So you mean the king is really dead?

Merlin: No, he is not really dead, but he has been mortally injured. I saw it myself, that day on the battlefield when the three nymph queens wept and took his unconscious body away from the battlefield. Then they laid it in a boat. They put him in a magical sleep that healed his wounds and took him to the Isle of Avalon. There he is still sleeping in a cave, waiting, until Britain is in dire need of him, and then he and his knights will all rise again for Britain, and it shall become a good and whole nation once again.  

Tuck: That is just nonsense. Someone likely took his body and buried it in secret so King Mordred could do no more disgrace to him.

Robin: So it has come to that, Mordred is king.

Lancelot: Yes, but many wish it were not so.

Guinevere: Don’t say such things!

Lancelot: Yes, Gwen, whatever you say, Gwen.

Edwin: How might one find this Isle of Avalon?

Merlin: No one knows, for it is an island that cannot be found, except for those who already know where it is.

Bridgette: Only an idiot of the highest tier would even consider searching for such a nonsensical thing!

Edwin: I am going to search for it. To me it sounds like Britain still needs Arthur, and Arthur needs someone to find him and bring him back from Avalon.  

Bridgette: We came to Camelot because you wanted me to get married, not for you to go gallivanting over a piece of fallaciousness!

Robin: (quietly, to Bridgette) Never look a gift horse in the mouth, milady, if you know what I mean

Herald: (enters right) His Majesty Mordred, by grace of God King of all Britannia (exits right, Mordred enters right)

Mordred: (sits on throne, all bow or curtsy, very bored and monotone) I guess that Court for today is now in session. To start this fun adventure, are there any introductions or business of something like that?

Edwin: (steps forward. Bridgette and Robin follow) There are, your majesty.

Mordred: Introductions, or business or what?

Edwin: Introductions your majesty.

Mordred: Fine then, what are your names?

Edwin: I am Count Edwin de Merieanne of Glastonbury, your majesty. This is my sister Lady Bridgette.

Robin: And I am their escort, Brother Robert Dudley of Locksley and Nottingham.

Mordred: Welcome to my court, Count Edwin, Lady Bridgette, Brother Robert. What is your business here?

Edwin: I wish to be knighted your majesty.

Mordred: Under what grounds?

Edwin: On our way to Camelot we came to an inn. There, seeing that we had money some horrible thieves attacked us. Brother Robert and I tried to defend ourselves, but we could not. I went to get help, and when I came back alone Brother Robert and my sister were tied to chairs. A sorcerer had turned the thieves invisible. I attacked the thieves and killed their invisible sorcerer, so that no innocent soul may be robbed and not see who is robbing them.

Mordred: Very impressive, I must say. Do you, Edwin de Merieanne, Count of Glastonbury, swear your fealty to me and only me, my successors, and the monarchy in general?

Edwin: Yes, your majesty!

Mordred: Do you pledge to protect the weak and downtrodden, and always come to those in need?  

Edwin: Yes, your majesty!

Mordred: Do you promise to do what is best for Britain at all times, even if it conflicts with private interests?

Edwin: Yes, your majesty!

Mordred: Do you promise to always be pious and follow the way of God and His divine providence?

Edwin: Yes, your majesty!

Mordred: Kneel Count Edwin de Merieanne of Glastonbury (stands, pulls out sword, taps both shoulders with sword) and rise Sir Edwin (he rises. All clap)

Edwin: I thank you, your majesty!

Mordred: Do not thank me, Sir Edwin. Not every man in my court could go against a foe they could not see. You more than deserve to become a member of the Holy Order of the Knight’s of Mordred’s Round Table in my mind, and certainly in the minds of your countrymen. Is there anymore court business? (a pause) No then? Good. I have no business either other than to state that as of yesterday it is illegal to have a name with an odd number of syllables. Anyone found to be living with an odd syllable name as of yester will be punished and tortured until they renounce such name, and as usual I feel I must go so I no longer have to be around you despicable lot.

Bridgette: Edwin, are you insane? I told you that I was joking, there were no invisible thieves.

Edwin: I can’t believe it, I’m a knight.

Lancelot: Do you realize you just swore fealty to Mordred, the evil king who killed Arthur?

Edwin: A knight, I’m Sir Edwin.

Lancelot: None of us knights have sworn yet, and I don’t think any will. You are Mordred’s first knight. You are his champion. Do you comprehend the implications of your actions?

Edwin: I’m the first knight- but that’s- that’s-

Lancelot: That was my title, yes, but for Arthur- never for Mordred.

Guinevere: Lancie-lot, shall we go?

Lancelot: Actually, Guinevere, I would like to talk a bit more with these people, particularly our new Sir Edwin.

Guinevere: I need an escort sir knight; I thought it was your duty to protect the weak.

Lancelot: But Edwin was talking about going on a quest to get Arthur back!

Guinevere: Why would you want to get Arthur back? With him gone we don’t have to hide anymore. Besides, Arthur was boring. I would never have married him if I wasn’t forced to by Daddy. If he comes back, then how I can be with you Lancie? (Bats eyelashes, big puppy dog eyes, etc)

Lancelot: Yes Gwen, you are right. You are always right, my love. (Both exit right)

Merlin: So will you go on this quest that is so desperately needed by our noble land?

Edwin: I will, but I do not know the way to Avalon.

Tuck: And you Brother? Will you be a traveling companion for the knight?

Robin: I will.

Bridgette: What will happen to me?

Edwin: You could stay at court.

Robin: You could go home.

Tuck: I’m sure that the monastery will take you.

Bridgette: Never the monastery!

Merlin: I know what you truly want to do, stay at court. (Wink)

Bridgette: I don’t want to be stuck at court.

Merlin: Yes, you do (wink).

Bridgette: Why would I want to do that?

Merlin: Just trust me, you do. I can help you get settled. (WINK, WINK)

Bridgette: Ah. Yes, I want to stay here at court.

Tuck: Good- it is settled then.

Robin: But we can’t wander the country hoping that by chance we run into Avalon.

Merlin: Ask Sir Tristan about that. He seems to have good luck with that sort of thing.

Edwin: I am a knight, I am going on a quest; I can’t believe it!

Robin: I can’t believe that you were knighted either, buddy.

Tuck: When do you plan to leave?        

Edwin: Tomorrow morning.

Tuck: Then we best be making preparations, shan’t we? (Robin, Edwin, and Tuck exit left)

Bridgette: (makes sure they are gone) Merlin, how did you know what I wanted?

Merlin: I know all. I see all. I see that you are not like most ladies. I know you would not be content at court, so that is why I want to help you.

Bridgette: Thank you! Thank you!

Merlin: No need to be thanking me. We best make some preparations of our own.

Bridgette: (Smiles) We best (Both exit right, lights fade)

Scene Five
Later that night, in a sitting room. Robin and Bridgette are talking in front of the fire, drinking out of mugs.

Bridgette: So tell me, of all things, why did you decide to be a monk?

Robin: I don’t know.

Bridgette: There has to be some reason, that isn’t something you do just because you can.

Robin: I guess that I saw so much horrible, horrible things happening in the Holy Land I felt I ought to cleanse myself, to pay penance for all of those that will not.

Bridgette: And then you went off and became a thief. You paid your penance and you went off to commit more sin.  

Robin: I wouldn’t call it thievery. We, what was the word we used, ah; we aggressively solicited the more financially blessed members of the community. It was all in the name of a noble cause.

Bridgette: That noble cause is robbing nobles.
        
Robin: The cause is not wealth, deary, but to help the poor of Nottingham. All we took was given way to those that needed it. People would have starved and died from not having anything to eat if we had not helped them. Not of penny of it went to us; me and me band lived like nice little poor in the forest. Everything we needed we hunted for. It was hard work, ye must understand that, but at the end of the day, we were a crew of merry men.

Bridgette: If your life was so happy, why are you leaving your beloved poor that needed you so much?

Robin: Because of what I told ye earlier- I crave excitement- it is my drug, it is my drink. I left my men in the forest. They are more than capable of taking care of Nottingham whilst I’m away.

Bridgette: So you must sacrifice your noble idolatry to quench your lust for adventure?

Robin: ‘fraid so, missy. I was dragged into this, when I left my dear Sherwood Forest, I thought this would be nothin’, now though, I’m leavin’ me home once again. One can only pray to Lord Almighty that this exploit turns out better than me last. But why are we talking about little old Robin? Ye yourself are an interesting creature, milady.

Bridgette: You are the one that has led an interesting life- crusader, monk, thief; that is why we are talking about you.  

Robin: But what about you? You are like no female I have ever met, barely a woman and you are better with a sword than any man I have ever seen. How does that not count as interesting? Do you not count that as an accomplishment?

Bridgette: Most would not; a man wants a woman who has skin as white as snow, hair as red as wine, who sews like magic is flowing though her fingertips, and is as patient as an ancient pine. A man wants to be dominant. Strong women are burned at the stake as witches. An accomplished woman is quiet, married and has an heir by the time she is my age.

Robin: I am sure there are those who think that such a thing is preposterous.

Bridgette: Not among the nobility.

Robin: The way you think the way you act it is so modern, so revolutionary.  This is the future. To pursue our own futures, to love whoever we wish to love, not to waste our lives for the sake of our family name; that is where we soon shall be. Why do you give a care as to what those stuffed pigeons think of you when you can be the leader of a generation?

Bridgette: I was born one of those ‘stuffed pigeons’, that’s why. I am not a leader of a generation, I am a woman. My way of thinking is neither revolutionary nor the future. I do not want to get married at this moment, nor do I have even the slightest wish to change the world with the fact that I do not think the way it is proper to. I cannot defy the world of god and seek my own future. To do what is expected of nobility that is my future, all of it will be before the eyes of my peers and I would prefer that they approve of it.  

Robin: If you are lacking in their eyes then why put up with not being the revered figurehead God made you to be? Why put up with unhappiness and always being wrong. As you are today even a woman of your spirit would be looked up to in my circles, you would be our hero. We, I, would say my rosary not to god, but to you and only you, my Goddess.

Bridgette: I know what you are suggesting; I want you to know that I will never lower myself to such. Never, Brother Robert, never; not even for you. (Stands)

Robin: If you won’t for me, would you for yourself?

Bridgette: I must marry according to my stature as to not disgrace the de Merieanne name. We have been associated with the paramount of society and power since Charlemagne’s ancestors were heathens. Hundreds of generations of de Merieannes are what I have to live up to.

Robin: (Stands) Maybe you are one of them then!

Bridgette: Have you not been listening? I am of noble birth and that will never change, not for anyone.

Robin: I did not mean that you weren’t of noble birth. What I meant was that I thought you were different. What law says that one can’t lead a life like mine and still be a noble?

Bridgette: It could never work.

Robin: Then I do not want it to work. I quite think, Lady de Merieanne, that I could never be with someone whose ego is bigger than they are.

Bridgette: and I could never be with someone who thinks that the order of things and the very world itself will turn upside down for his fancy. (Wipes eyes)

Robin: I think the world will turn itself upside down for me? You say you must marry according to your rank and yet you say you do not want to be married just to bear children? You want adventure but you cannot even have the adventure of considering something out of your circle of comfort?

Bridgette: I… I… (Turns to leave)

Robin: Bridgette, wait- (she stops and faces him)

Bridgette: What did you call me?

Robin: Bridgette?

Bridgette: I need to talk to Merlin. (Runs out right)

Robin: (sits back down, takes a drink) God blamed woman. Who does she thinks she is? First she tells me that she doesn’t like where she is, but then she tells me that she is unwilling to change. She’ll know eventually that what she said was a mistake. It might not be tomorrow, she might be married and have children by then, but she’ll look back she will know that she should have listened to me. She’ll know that she would have been much happier if she would have listened to dear old Robin Hood. (Slouches in chair, takes another drink)

Edwin: (enters with Sir Tristan. Edwin is wearing armor and very happy) Look who I found!

Robin: (doesn’t look) Congratulations; I hope you two will be very happy together.

Edwin: No, no; I found Sir Tristan. He let me borrow his armor and a couple of his horses for our epic quest.

Robin: That’s nice.

Tristan: Umm… Would you be Brother Robert? Edwin has told me a lot about you in the short time we have known each other.

Robin: (Turns, bows head) I am sorry for my bad manners, Sir Tristan, I am Brother Robert; greetings to you.

Tristan: And to you. (Edwin smiles, then Robin turns back to the fire) So Edwin, is there anything else you need?

Edwin: Actually there is small matter that we don’t know where to go,

Robin: Making this nothing but a superfluous exercise in stupidity and frivolousness.

Tristan: (to Edwin) Is he always this cynical?

Robin: No, not at all. Robin is just a little off his mood today.

Tristan: Okay. (To Edwin) Now what exactly are you looking for?

Edwin: We are searching for that which Camelot most needs right now.

Tristan: Really? I’ve been there, done that. Tried to bring it back but that didn’t work. If you want to try it for yourselves then go ahead. Go south on the Pilgrim Road until you hit water. Cross the water, and go west to a place called Normandy. Find the palace of the Duke, who was William when I was there. Go to Duke William and ask for Mary and Sarah- it is they that are the keepers. Good luck at bringing it back. But to be honest, just the sight of it is enough to cure a man of searching for meaning, for glory.

Edwin: Normandy?

Tristan: Yes Normandy.

Edwin: And then cross the water?

Tristan: No, cross the water and then go to Normandy.

Edwin: Duke William?

Tristan: William, yes.

Edwin: And then ask for Margaret and Shirley?

Tristan: No, ask for Mary and Sarah. They are the keepers.

Edwin: Got it; go to Normandy, cross the water, find Duke William, ask for Margaret and Shirley.  

Robin: Don’t worry, I remember everything.

Tristan: Edwin, don’t worry, just listen to Robert.

Edwin: That I will sir. Would you like to join us on our quest?

Tristan: I’m afraid that I can not, good sir.

Edwin: Come on, Tristan! Glory! Adventure! Riches! Think about it, if we succeed then peace will return to the kingdom.

Tristan: Peace would always be good, but you must remember that I am a knight of Cornwall. I have pledged my allegiance only to King Mark and the wondrous lady that is the true bane of my existence, the pearl of my heart, my fair Iseult. (Bursts into song)

Chorus: My fair Iseult
Queen of the heavens
Queen of my heart
I am your servant
‘Til time runs old
My fair Iseult

Your eyes are like diamonds
Against the night sky
Your smile makes my quiver
And when we touch
I feel like I can fly
Like I can fly

Chorus

Though fate has separated us
I know you truly love me
Even when you’re loving him
You keep my soul alive
In my heart, I know only thee
Know only thee

Chorus

My fair Iseult

Robin: Ye might want to be a little more subtle milord Tristan. If I were you I might be scared that someone might read more into that than a loyalty to yer queen.

Edwin: Yes, but think of the glory if you come along on our quest!

Tristan: I have promised that I will return to Cornwall on the morrow, apparently there was something urgent that Mark wanted to talk to me about.

Robin: Wonder what that is.

Edwin: And any way, thank you again, even though you can’t come with us! I should get some sleep. Big day tomorrow. (Exits left)

Tristan: You should be resting too, Brother Robert. He’s right, big day tomorrow. (Exits right)

Robin: Big day it is (sighs) oh Bridgette, how horrible it is that we cannot be together- Oh, what is the light in which the yonder window breaks?
It is the East, and Bridgette is the sun
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon
Who is sick and pale with grief
That her maid art more fair then she
Be not her maid since she is an envious lady
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
None but fools do wear it. Cast it off.
You are my lady, you are my love
O, that if you knew what you were!
(Lights fade out)

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