lol I sometimes I feel like I’m at a strict cathlic school to but no, it has a Lutherian affiliation that isn’t really talked about much when your applying, but once you get here sundays are umm… pointless. I thought about giving ppl names but if I gave them fake names for the assignment then I would get marked down, and using their real names when my classmates had to read it just seemed mean.
Non-fiction / Game, Guidance or…Something More
I took a deep breath and walked over to the tables at Encore, the tarot cards I had just bought in my hands. I had planned to walk in and ask students if they wanted a reading done, but as I stood there I became more and more self-conscious. I wasn’t the most experienced reader, and even though I had promised myself I would, I hadn’t memorized the minor arcana yet. Part of me was desperately searching for an excuse to put off the readings. I stood there for a moment longer before sitting down by myself. I pulled out the cards and began to shuffle them, keeping the deck in plain sight; maybe someone would come to me.
Though I had given myself a million excuses, I knew the real reason I hesitated to do readings was simple. I didn’t want to be judged by my interest. I was the same way when I started looking into Paganism. I hesitated before asking questions and hid who I was becoming from my family. Searching for sites late at night, clearing the memory of my searches, reading the articles and hiding any notes. I always had questions, but even when I was waiting for mom to pick me up from the library, I wouldn’t look up the information. I didn’t want anyone to judge me the way a year earlier I would have judged myself.
Eventually I stood up again, reminding myself that I had been honest from the beginning here, proclaiming my beliefs to people I barely knew, deciding that if they didn’t want to be friends with me because of it, they weren’t friends I wanted to have. I was tired of hiding who I was and whether it was the fact that I was Pagan, or the fact that I could read tarot cards, it was still hiding.
It took a while to find someone who was willing to let me do a reading for them. It was someone who had recognized me from a class, but not someone I generally talked to. He was sitting with a girl, whom I assumed was his girlfriend. Knowing how annoying it is when someone interrupts a date, I planned on bypassing them until he waved to me.
“Hi,” I said, “Either of you interested in getting your tarot cards read?” The question was almost second nature at that point, and I expected a negative answer before I had even asked.
The couple looked at each other, a little surprised, “Umm sure,” he said.
“Wait a minute,” she cut in, “Are you sure you really want to know your future?”
“Well if it’s good I have something to look forward to and if it’s not at least I’m forewarned,” he responded in a light-hearted way that convinced me this wasn’t going to be a serious reading.
“The cards don’t tell the future. They simply reflect on life.” I informed them.
“Oh come on they’re fortune telling cards,” she said laughing.
I smiled and sat down. “The readings I know how to do are past present future readings.”
“Well let’s do the past, because that’s already happened,” he responded, still taking the whole thing as a joke.
“Umm it’s just one reading. It will give you a glimpse of the past, a glimpse of the present and a glimpse of the future,” I answered, unsure of what to make of their attitudes.
“Wait a minute,” she said, “Is there like a playboy card in that deck because that’s the only thing that would fit his past.”
“Well, there’s the lovers,” I responded, deciding at that point just to go along with the silliness.
“Oh no, there was definitely no love involved,” he said laughing.
All three of us cracked up as I pulled out the cards and handed the deck to him.
“Shuffle the cards,” I told him.
Once he had done so, he handed the deck back to me and I fanned them out. “Choose three cards and place them down on the table from left to right,” I said.
He reached over and pulled his hand back in mock horror as he chose each card. “Well I did it,” he said laughing. He lowered his voice and tried to sound mysterious as he continued, “Now let’s see what the cards reveal about me.”
“This card represents the past,” I said as I turned over the first card, “and it’s the seven of swords.” I reached over for the cheat booklet that I brought along, and found the card in question. “Self-control – giving in to one’s emotions or desires,” I read, “Well that would be a lack of self-control in the past then.”
Both of them just nodded, disappointed that there is nothing to joke about with this card.
I turned over the next card, telling them that it represented the present. “The empress; this card represents fertility.”
“So you’re saying I’m pregnant?” he asked.
Before I can respond she jumped in, “Are you late this month?”
I allowed the jokes to continue for a minute or two longer before explaining what the card meant. “In the story of the fool that follows the major arcana, when the fool meets the empress, he has the tools and the knowledge to be happy, but he is not. He asks her why and she tells him to give it time. That happiness, like a baby in the womb, takes time to grow. So this card probably means that you have the means to get what you really want, but it will take time for you to truly gain it.”
He just nodded and gestured toward the last card. “Now I guess I have to find out how bad my future is.”
I grinned and turned over the last card. “The five of cups.” I grabbed the cheat sheet. “Defeat – it is impossible to win without losing,” I read.
I had expected more jokes as I finished the reading, but as I looked up both of them were glancing over the cards seriously.
“Well the past makes complete sense, but the present…” his voice trailed off.
“That card makes sense to me. It’s what I’ve been telling you for the last three weeks,” she responded.
“I know but it seems like I’ve been trying to help things grow, and not getting anywhere.”
“That’s because it just takes time.”
I stood there frozen for a minute. During the whole reading it had seemed like a joke, but once it was over both of them started reading meaning into the cards, a lot of meaning.
“So what could the future be about?” she asked.
“I don’t know; choosing between…” his voice drifted off again. I knew I should say something, but what could I say? I didn’t even know what they were reading into the cards. No one said anything for a minute; both of them continued to stare at the cards.
After finishing the reading, I sat by myself for a while, reflecting on what I had learned from it and wondering if I should continue to do readings that night. When I had researched the tarot cards, I had seen millions of warnings about always taking the readings seriously, but this was the first reading I had done that had seemed in any way trivial. I had been warned that most people believed at least somewhat in the cards even if they pretended not to, but I had never experienced any example. I hoped that the joking manner in which I had read the cards didn’t affect their interpretation of the meaning, but there was nothing I could do if it had. I couldn’t take back the reading and trying to convince them of the seriousness of the cards would be futile because they clearly already knew. If only I could have changed my own actions during the reading. If only I had followed the advice from every source of information.
I was, in a sense, responsible for each of my readings. Not because I could change the outcome, but because the way in which I read the cards could have an effect on how the querent, or person getting their cards read, would interpret them. With a reading that was negative in any way, I had to be more careful. This reading was particularly negative in the past and more worrisome the future.
I should have made sure he knew the future card only showed what would happen if he continued down the same path. It was my first reading, and I had already made so many mistakes; maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe I wasn’t ready to offer readings. How much havoc would I wreak on people’s lives if I kept making mistakes like the ones I had made in that reading? Still I wasn’t going to make that mistake again, and if I didn’t read different people, I would never really learn the best way to handle the cards.
Eventually I got up again, and began walking around, offering readings. A couple people let me, but for the most part I just got funny looks.
When she walked into Encore, I immediately hesitated. The outfit she was wearing made her look out of place; it was far too fancy and way too conservative. The minute I saw her I thought she had come from a church gathering. I walked closer to her table, telling myself not to judge people on appearances, getting more nervous as I got closer. I closed my eyes for a second, tried to feel her energy, and knew that doing a reading for her was a bad idea. Even so, some part of me was intrigued by the walls she had constructed around her against anything magical. It took me a couple seconds, but eventually I walked over.
“Hi,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound as nervous as I felt. “Are you interested in getting your tarot cards read?” As soon as I asked the question, I regretted it. I prayed to the deities that she would say no that I wouldn’t have to follow through with the reading.
“Excuse me?” she said, “Interested in what?”
I forced myself to smile politely as I repeated the question. “Getting your tarot cards read?”
“No,” she sounded snotty. “I’m very religious.”
As I began to walk away she yelled, “Excuse me.” I turned around and tried to ignore the rude tone she had taken.
“Yes?” I could hear the fake sweetness in my voice but didn’t care.
“Do you go to school here?” She asked.
. “Yeah, I’m a freshman.”
Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes flared with anger, “HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY BELIEVE THAT AND GO TO SCHOOL HERE?” Her face turned red and she jumped to her feet.
I just stood there frozen in place. Shocked.
“HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?” She yelled, “DON’T YOU KNOW THOSE CARDS ARE A FORM OF DEVIL WORSHIP?”
Part of me wanted to point out who the stupid one was and to let her know exactly what the cards really were, but I knew it would be fruitless.
“WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BRING THOSE CARDS HERE? DIDN’T YOU KNOW THEY WOULDN’T BE WELCOME?”
I just walked away; her screaming echoing in my ears. Once I was out of earshot, I started laughing hysterically. I don’t know what about the situation was funny, but it somehow was.
I talked to the first person who I had done a reading for during class the next day. We had never said more than “hello” to each other before, but he decided to come over and start a conversation. It didn’t take long before we were talking about tarot cards. He asked me if I had ever gotten my cards read, and after I told him that my friends had done readings on me, he told me about his only other experience with fortune telling.
“Yeah, umm, you see, my mom went and got a tarot reading, and I got my palm read, and both of us were told that something major was going to change in our lives. A week later I got called into court about some stuff and umm…” his voice drifted off. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence I realized he was waiting for me to respond, but what could I say? I wanted to bring up that reading, but shied away from the responsibility. I would have had to do something to make him realize that the future card was only a possibility; but how could I? I wasn’t prepared to help him understand the reading. It was a situation I should never have let myself get into. A minute or two later he asked me how the readings were going.
“Pretty good I’m getting lots of different reactions.”
“That’s cool why’d you decide to do them anyways.”
I hesitated, “Well, mainly because I really like tarot cards, and because I’m hoping to learn something by reading different people, but it’s also for a class project.”
“Really, that’s cool, what class?”
“It’s an immersion journalism project for my non-fiction class.”
The conversation continued, and by the time our class started I got the impression that there was something he wasn’t telling me. I thought about the reading I had done for him and again wished I had taken it more seriously. He was a believer.
I continued to walk around the cafeteria, my feet growing heavy, determined to do at least one reading before I left. I walked up to another table and asked, but like every other table, they said no. I moved on, knowing the answer before I asked the question, sometimes not even getting the question out because someone would notice the cards and cut me off. I stopped at every table, but still managed to walk across the entire cafeteria without doing any readings. I noticed a couple of my friends walk in and decided to sit down and talk for a little while before continuing my readings. Most of the people I knew well, but one of the girls I couldn’t place. Her long blonde hair flowed down her back, and I immediately got the impression that she would be interested in magic.
“Hey guys,” I said as I sat down with them, “any of you interested in getting your cards read?” Though I posed the question to the group, I wasn’t really interested in anyone else’s response. Her energies vibrated and seemed to call to me, making me hope that she would allow me to do a reading.
“I have my own deck,” she said.
Immediately both of us started talking about tarot cards. We discussed different readings and how we had become interested in the tarot. We asked each other lots of questions hoping to learn something new. I mentioned the mirror reading I had been working on memorizing, and she asked me to show it to her.
As I finished the mirror reading for her, we continued to talk about the tarot and our belief. She was looking over the reading, and trying to remember why each card was where it was and what the position symbolized when we were interrupted.
“Excuse me,” the new girl said, “One of my friends would really like you to do a reading for him when you’re done here.”
“Oh,” I said surprised, “Yeah sure, hang on.” I gathered the cards and said goodbye to my friends before following her across the cafeteria.
As I sat down, I looked over the students who were sitting with her and reminded myself that this reading was more serious than any of the others I had done so far. Anyone that was interested enough to grab me clearly believed in the power of the tarot.
“So who’s interested in a reading?” I asked.
One of the boys leaned over, “Umm, I am.” I handed him the deck and told him to shuffle the cards. As he did so I wondered what question he had for the cards. I contemplated asking, but it might have been of a personal nature, and since I was not interpreting the cards, the knowledge wouldn’t serve any purpose.
He finished shuffling and handed the cards back to me. He looked nervous, and it seemed like he felt a little foolish. I fanned the cards out and told him to pick three. The reading itself seemed unusually normal; no major arcana appeared, and the minor aracana that were chosen didn’t seem to be even a little bit positive or negative on their own. Though statistically these results are the most likely, it was the first time that I had gotten them. I interpreted the cards, and when I finished, he tried to appear indifferent to the results, but there was a look in his eye that made me think they were more accurate then he wanted me to believe. I collected the cards and walked away.
The believer is standing outside talking to some people from my dorm when I get there. I say hello, and join the conversation. At first we’re just talking about random things, but then he brings up tarot cards. I can tell by their reactions that no one else wants to talk about them and quickly change the subject, but he brings it up again. Slowly the others realize that they have places to be or things to do, and I’m left standing outside with him.
“Can I ask you about the reading you did for me?” he asks once we’re alone
“I don’t know what else I can tell you about it, but sure.”
“Well your reading was way too accurate, and I don’t really know what to do so I was hoping you could tell me.”
“Wow. I read the cards for you, but I can’t solve all your problems.”
“Okay listen the card in my past is about…” his voice trails off. “Well it’s about that court case.”
“The cards only reflect on how you feel, everyone interprets readings differently, but there’s always a reason you chose the cards you do. You don’t have to explain the reading to me if you don’t want to,” I respond after a couple minutes of silence.
“It’s ok. I don’t know how else to explain everything.”
“You don’t have to explain it to me.”
“The present card was telling me exactly what Linda said it was.” He tells me, “I know how to control myself now, and I have forgiven myself to a point, but it’s taking a lot of time for me to realize some things. I know I should be happy with everything behind me, but it’s hard not to think about what I use to be like and…”
“It just takes time,” I tell him, “sometimes life’s like that.”
“Yeah, I know, and I know that’s what the card was telling me, but how much time is it going to take?”
“I don’t know. I think that’s different for everyone. Just take the time because it’s the only way you’ll ever be happy.” I think this is the question he wants to ask and I’m somewhat grateful that a blanket response like the one I gave is the only response anyone could possibly give him.
“I know what the future card means now too,” he says. The tone of his voice tells me this is the part of the conversation that he needs help understanding. My heart sinks; I don’t know how I could possibly help him understand defeat.
As he proceeds to explain that he has two sets of friends. One made up of people he has had his whole side and the other made up an ex-girlfriend’s family and the friends he made while in the relationship. Both groups seemed to get along fine when he was dating the girl, but the breakup was really bad, and the old friends blamed the new ones for it.
To get back at the new friends his old friends planned something. Bones were broken. The old friends retaliated.
After a while the believer and the girl started talking again. They were able to forgive each other, but the battle lines between the two groups of friends could not be erased.
“Why don’t you both go to them and see if you can get them to talk?” I suggest.
“We tried that didn’t work well.”
“Why not?”
“Umm my old friends decided to get back at umm the friends I made while dating her on the same day and umm…”
“They were really mad at each other. Did you try again?”
“Yeah”
“I tried a millions times. Even when it had been weeks since the last umm attack, they still wouldn’t talk.”
“But they started fighting because of breakup? Can’t you make them see that they don’t have a reason to fight anymore?”
“I’ve tried but…”
I wait for about thirty seconds before asking, “But?”
“This is going to make me sound completely full of myself, but I think they’re fighting over me.”
“What?”
“It’s just that every time I hang out with either group, they ask me what the other group is doing to convince me to hang out with them, and whenever we get them all in one room every time anyone does anything nice for me someone says “so that’s how your getting him to be friends with you.” I’ve tried to convince both sides that no one is doing anything to convince me to hang out with the other side but they don’t listen.”
I tried to think of something to say in response to this but couldn’t seem to find the words.
“I tried being friends with both sides without the other side knowing, but umm that didn’t really work.”
“Yeah, umm that would have been a temporary solution at best any way.”
“I know but… If I try to stay friends with everyone then things will just get worse, and I don’t know how much further it can go without permanent damage being inflicted.”
“Have you told anybody else about this?”
“No… wow wait I don’t think anyone’s going to get killed I’m just worried that someone will do something they’ll regret.”
I reach over and touch his shoulder, meeting his eyes, “If you’re worried that someone could get seriously hurt, you need to tell someone.”
“If I just chose a side it will all end.”
“Are you sure?”
“Look would you just tell me which side to pick?”
“I-I,” I stutter in surprise, “I don’t know, you’re the only one that can make that choice.”
“Could you just do another reading for me? This came up in the first one; maybe an answer will come up in another one.”
I hesitate. I know that a reading will at least temporarily calm him down, but it’s a bad idea. Tarot cards are supposed to help you understand the world and see your life from a different perspective. They are not suppose to be the answer to your problems.
“The cards already revealed that this could become a problem,” I say after a moment or two of silence. “I think at this point another reading would be more harmful than helpful. You can’t turn to tarot cards whenever you have a problem.”
“But I don’t know what else to do.”
“No one has all the answers.”
“You won’t help me?”
I hesitate for a minute. Part of me doesn’t want to be any more involved than I already am, but I don’t want to lose the friendship. “You can talk to me, try to work it out, and I’ll play therapist if you want, but I won’t do another reading.”
“I’ve got lots of people playing therapist. I need you to read the cards, it’s the only answer.”
Any doubt about my decision disappears when he says that. “No one ever needs to get a reading done, they’re supposed to help clarify life events, but you can’t try to clarify one reading with another. It’ll never end.”
“Just this once, please?”
“No, the cards can’t solve problems. That’s not what they’re meant for.”
The conversation continues for a while, but I refuse to do another reading. Eventually he leaves, muttering to himself that he can always find another reader.
I know that there are others on campus, but I hope he doesn’t turn to them for help. In the end that will only create more problems.
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this_is_glamour reviewed Version 1 -
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wow this was really touching. it is interesting to see how the authors moods.. the fear and the final outcome of the event.
I thought it had good flow and grammar.
You had an extra period in front of ” ‘Yeah, I’m a freshman.’”
my only real suggestion is to use the word “umm” less. it’s realistic but it get a bit tedious at times.
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six reviewed Version 1 -
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WOW…I have never entertained the idea of a reading and probably would not have even read this had I know what this was about, the title is what made me start reading. It’s funny how just reading this you were able to convey the truth about reading, I understand why you felt the need to hide it at first. I kind of makes you feel dirty or like you are doing something wrong. I appreciate that at least you are truthful with saying “Tarot cards are supposed to help you understand the world and see your life from a different perspective. They are not suppose to be the answer to your problems.” I firmly believe this. I also believe that this doesn’t work if you don’t believe. You have to be careful with this though, I feel that sometimes people can hear a reading about the future and do things unknowingly to make it come true!
power_star reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow creds suck on this cite. I love this piece but I feel bad for “The believer” wondering what he did, cause you don’t really say. Yes I know you don’t know either, but still it would be nice to know, some of the other characters are great, but I wish you could have found some way to bring up Eric telling the future from his cake that was histerical, especially when he was making it worse every time his friend flicked him off or anything lol. You know I’m just doing this for creds so that if anyone ever reads my screen play I’ll be able to well open them because even in shorter segments they are still way way way to long to just read. Man I miss the old urbis system I don’t like the way this works right now, I mean if I do not get credits till you open this then I will be really pissed, it is not my fault that my pieces are long and it is impossible to keep up with credits at this rate. I want to get my creds right away so that I can actually open things. Not that I’m getting a ton of reviews yet, but still when I get them I need to be able to open them and I really get sick of doing like 300 reviews and now they will not even let me use the gallery so I can not write them off line if I need to, that messes up everything and if I want someone to tell me what they think of my work because I thought they reviewed it well in the past they have to be my friend which is all well and good but then they do not get creds till my credits are up and I can not keep them up with this new system and they no longer have a suggestion area so I can not be like “Hey you should really make urbis more like it use to be because it was much better that way” No instead I get to waste my time writing reviews that I don’t even know if I’ll ever get creds for and that’s just not fair. I agreed with most of the changes they did before the major change but I am not impressed with the idiotocy of the way this cite is set up right now, and if they think this is better then they’re going to lose at least one member before this whole thing ends.
Hx reviewed Version 1 -
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Well written, interesting and engaging. Nice work. Noticed very few mechanical problems, spelling and grammar looked good. Noticed one missing hyphen (‘fortune-telling cards’), and I believe that Major and Minor Arcana should be capitalized. Lastly, some of the dialogue gets a little jumbled- hard to tell who is speaking.
Beyond all that, a very good effort here. Keep it up.
romper66 reviewed Version 1 -
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Honestly, at first, I didn’t plan on reading this all the way through. The length was just intimidating. But once I got into it, I had to finish the entire story. The concept of tarot cards is very interesting and though I’m not a believer, I wouldn’t call myself a non-believer either. There were some problems though. Your dialogue is hard to follow because it isnt always clear who is talking. Sometimes the characters, since none of them have names, get a bit mixed up and fuzzy. Try giving them names, even if they are fake names. I assume that you go to a very conservative catholic school and it was interesting to see how people responded. Good job.
Connavar reviewed Version 1 -
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It was an honor to be one of the first people to read this real life story my friend. It was one of the best real life storys I have read in a long time. Keep on writing.
Justin_Strout reviewed Version 1 -
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It’s not a bad story of a particularly interesting day in the writer’s life, and I’m all for gonzo journalism, but this felt a little too first person. Cut back on the dialogue and include more descriptive phrases of the people being read. It’s not what they’re saying that’s interesting, but who they are and why they have come to be read.
One minor criticism: get rid of the word “had.” It’s not being used properly and it’s in there a lot. “I had given myself…” should be “I gave myself…” for example. Changing this small bit of grammar will improve your prose dramatically.
But keep up the immersion technique. Remember, it’s not the conversations we care about, but what’s underneath them.
KatieJo reviewed Version 1 -
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It is an interesting topic you bring up here. I have often thought about this myself. I am no professional tarot reader. I have, however, been to tarot car readers and palm readers and I also own oracle cards. I do believe that there is a truth in tarot, but I agree with you that it is not an answer to anyone’s problems nor is it a crystal ball. Keep at it, my friend. I think the smiles you bring will outweigh the frowns. And you must remember that, although you are the reader, you are not choosing the cards. They are chosen for a reason far greater than you could have picked them for. I would be interested in a reading via internet sometime if you were interested. If so, my aim screenname is Katierose21. Take care.
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