Poetry / My own meadow.

My place of clear water,
the first hill in the world
where springs washed into
the shiny grass

and darkened cobbles
lay in the bed of the lane.
Lush valleys, soft gradients
of tranquility, my own meadow.

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July 31, 2007

RoadHousePress

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
728	85.3% (218 votes)	45.5%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
60		Rockport, MA	July 30

RoadHousePress reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Short works for this. Technique is good, but I was wondering why the term ‘first hill in the world’ was used? Have I missed something?

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August 01, 2007

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	82.4% (17 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
20	M	United Kingdom	December 17

Yeh – it’s MY place of clear water – and it’s quite obvious that the universe rotates around me, as I am at the centre of it – so when I was born - this was the first hill I saw, and knew, and therefore it surely MUST be the oldest hill in the world.

August 01, 2007

by psyxxx

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	82.4% (17 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
20	M	United Kingdom	December 17

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Oh, and I need to put a comma at the end of the second line.
I think that would change the emphasis sufficiently.

August 08, 2007

by RoadHousePress

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
728	85.3% (218 votes)	45.5%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
60		Rockport, MA	July 30

personal info reviewer stats

As I said, I like this. Just found your comments or I would have written sooner.

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psyxxx

Age:	20
Loc:	United Kingdom
Gen:	M
Last Login:	December 17

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