right. i guess i’m keeping too much to myself. the widows are just exiles, fuck-ups of some sort… they live in the corners of the night, under a bridge perhaps, and Shadow is a positive force who comes to visit them. the stage would be pretty dark…
what do you mean by “Shadow: I know”?
when you say it’s mushy, are you referring to the “hold my life” shit? if so then yes. any suggestions?
Stage Play / shadow&widow
SHADOW
Hello. Who are you today?
WIDOWS
(Whispering) The silent.
SHADOW
Where do you hide?
WIDOW
In your bed
WIDOW 2
In the corner;
WIDOW 3
In your head.
SHADOW
Where would you go?
WIDOW
To the moon!
WIDOW 2
To infinity!
WIDOW 3
To Neverland!
SHADOW
When do you walk alone?
WIDOW
At night
WIDOW 2
At night
SHADOW
Why don’t you sleep?
WIDOW
Demons.
SHADOW
Have you done something?
WIDOW 2
Demons!
SHADOW
Walk with me tonight.
WIDOW 3
Who are you?
SHADOW
What did you see?
WIDOW 3
Nothing. Who are you?
SHADOW
Don’t be afraid.
WIDOW 3
I’m listening.
WIDOW
Hold my hand, hold my life
SHADOW
What are you trying to say?
WIDOW
Please.
SHADOW
Your hand I’ll hold.
WIDOW
My life.
SHADOW
We’ll see.
WIDOW
Feel this.
SHADOW
It’s soft. What is it?
WIDOW
My life.
SHADOW
Not your hand.
WIDOW
No.
SHADOW
It’s soft… Did you listen? When they told you–
WIDOW
No
SHADOW
Did you–
WIDOW 2
No
SHADOW
Did–
WIDOW 3
Yes
SHADOW
Do you shiver at night?
WIDOW
My skin. It’s enough.
SHADOW
Plants freeze. Rabbits freeze.
WIDOW
I shiver.
SHADOW
Leaves freeze. People freeze.
WIDOW
My skin. Hold me.
WIDOW 3
Who will walk me, when you’re gone?
WIDOW
Your Shadow
WIDOW 3
Who are you, then?
WIDOW
Your widow
WIDOW 3
Who?
SHADOW
Turn around.
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Dharma_Bum reviewed Version 1 -
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MElizabeth reviewed Version 1 -
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maniacalromance reviewed Version 1 -
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I love this. Very much, actually. I can just see the characters in my head, the costumes, the placement, the cold lighting, the warm, mysterious darkness. It’s absolutely amazing. It would take quite a bit of practice and quite skilled actors to be able to pull the beat and the rhythm of this stage play off, but it would be worth it to see it played out. This stage play ((to me, anyway)), seems to hold depression and the desire to death. The widow asks the shadow to take her life, and the shadow tempts, refuses, teases. It’s like life, pretending to give, pretending to take, always keeping the person from what they really need.
I absolutely love this piece of art. Very well done.
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hellecchino reviewed Version 1 -
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I hear voices, I see no action. I guess it could be staged as a play for words; Beckett did such oddities. My feeling is that it’s not finished because nothing happens. I knew the intertwining right from the beginning, which says you have a way with words; then it got a little…mushy. I’m not sure that’s the right word. Shadow: I know. Widow: 3 = archetype, mythological threesome? I think what I’m missing is situation: where, when—at least. These things carry meaning on stage, even if the audience is “unconscious” of the effect they have on them. Disembodied voices in the night would play and speak differently from three black widow spiders and a male…y’know? At least put me somewhere; I’m sure that in your head it’s somewhere. Why keep it a secret?
andersonwilliam reviewed Version 1 -
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I don’t think I have ever read anything like this before, and I feel somewhat unfit to comment on it. But I think that it is definitely unique and you should keep it up.
xHushx reviewed Version 1 -
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I feel that this piece is un-finished and needs to be looked at more in detail.
There is an isolated/dark feeling in this say if it was performed in darkly lit room creating a psychotic/scary atompshere which is always big with public, especially myself, I adore dark plays.
There was a great flow, but it was suddenly broken.
I enjoyed the intensity you made of the Shadow character who questioning the Widow character, something like that would make the audience get nervous and hanging onto the edge of their seats.
Keep the good work,
Keep writing!
humandetails reviewed Version 1 -
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OOOH! This gives me shivers (in a good way). I really like the spooky, mysterious, surreal air to it. How about some stage directions/costumes /props/ backdrops?
My only complaint is that:
“WIDOW 3
To Neverland!”
ruins the seriousness of it.
Yes, it is unclear, but not pretentious. This can be made into a chilling thriller if expanded and elaborated on.
Keep it up! :)
Tarapy reviewed Version 1 -
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This is awesome and i really did enjoy reading the whole thing. I love reading stuff like this, you are very awesome and cool! This is short, but you can easily make it work. Thanks
victoria700 reviewed Version 1 -
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woah this is one of those that catches you by suprise. i don’t think that it is quite long enough to be a stageplay, but i might be wrong, the message that your sending is very errie. and i quite adore it. when i was reading it i got mixed up with the characters but i think i read it and comprehended it enough to understand the meaning and it is really deep ((and like i said before, errie.)) haha good job.
KettiS reviewed Version 1 -
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Incredible! I actually loved this. I’m not one too much into stage, but this is like one of those little brain twisters that makes you think. I’d love to see it acted out in person, so bravo! Very creative!
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